{#herIBDstory} Ruthie Hanan Shares Her Journey Through Ostomy, J-Pouch Surgeries & the Healing Power of Meditation

I’ve got 4 words for you: Ostomy, J-pouch, Colitis, Warrior.

If you’ve got IBD, these 4 words that begin Ruthie Hanan’s journey (starting at the age of 15) will inspire and motivate you to keep moving forward, no matter what life throws at you.

Interviewing Ruthie for this episode of The Cheeky Podcast was an honor. I’ve been a fan of hers ever since I found her meditations on Insight Timer several months ago.

Ruthie’s ability to live every moment to its fullest reminds us to be present in what’s around us now, while we keep striving for better days ahead. Ruthie and I have a candid conversation about the mistakes doctors make and the consequences of decisions we make in our past that creep up in our present and how through it all, we can find joy and passion where we are right now.

We talk about:

  • What it was like for Ruthie to be a young model with a chronic illness in New York City
  • The often-untold information we don’t get when we’re thinking about an ostomy or a J-pouch
  • How to live in the present even when you’ve had past traumatic IBD experiences
  • The stages of chronic illness grief that aren’t really stages at all
  • Two beautiful and profound healing meditations with Ruthie as our guide

And so much more!

After this episode, you’ll definitely want to check out Ruthie’s meditations on Insight Timer and her YouTube channel where she shares her passion for yoga and more of her IBD story.

Episode at a Glance:

  • [04:30] The first of two meditations with Ruthie as our guide
  • [22:41] What it was like to be a young model with a chronic illness in New York City
  • [26:47] Ruthie’s journey from ostomy to j-pouch
  • [34:02] What you don’t know, can hurt you when it comes to the j-pouch
  • [42:19] How to live in the present even when you’ve had past traumatic IBD experiences
  • [49:20] The role hypnotherapy can play in helping you deal with IBD
  • [53:41] The healing power of learning to say “both/and”
  • [1:05:32] Ruthie shares her second guided healing meditation with us
  • [1:13:17] The best way to take your IBD healing journey to the next level

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Mentioned in This Episode

Ruthie on Insight Timer

Ruthie’s YouTube Channel

Tanis Fishman

Jennifer Piercy

The Artist’s Way

Nightlight Astrology

Episode Transcript:

Karyn: Hey there dear one, you are going to love this episode today, I am so excited to bring it to you, is the first in a new segment I’m introducing on the podcast called #herIBDstory, and what a story our guest has… You’ve heard me mention her before on the podcast when I recommended her meditations which are free on Insight Timer, it’s Ruthie Hanan ulcerative colitis and J-pouch warrior, yoga instructor, meditation guide. She’s been through so much on her IBD journey, and she’s gonna inspire the hell out of you today. Having suffered from chronic illness since the age of 15, practicing healing arts has been the key to maintaining health and working for Ruthie. She integrates what she learns into her life and shares the findings with others, allowing for a lifestyle that focuses on physical, mental and spiritual health for herself and others. Ruthie’s goal is to share the tools and experiences that help her every day in hopes of inspiring and reminding others that we are all our own best healers. During the episode, Ruthie shares with us what it was like for being a young model in New York City with a chronic illness, she shares the true and often untold information that we need when we’re thinking about getting an ostomy or J-pouch surgery.

Ruthie and I also get into how living in the present has been hard for both of us, but how it’s really a must when you’ve had traumatic IBD experiences, we talk about how the stages of chronic illness grief aren’t really stages at all, but more feelings that can crop up at any time and Ruthie shares with us, two beautiful and profound healing meditations, which she doesn’t even have written down, as she says the words are just channeling through her. It’s a moving conversation, and it’s one that I hope you can listen to or re-listen to when you’re not driving or walking, at least for the beginning in the end, because I don’t want you to miss out on Ruthie’s powerful guided meditations. I hope you enjoy #herIBDstory, the interview with Ruthie Hanon.

[music]

Intro: You are listening to the cheeky podcast for moms with IBD, a safe space for moms with crumbs and colitis, connect explore powerful tools for healing and transform our lives to thrive in motherhood and in life. I’m your host, Karyn Hayley, IBD health coach, Integrative Wellness enthusiast and Mom, three outstanding kids. After having Crone disease for thirty years and working as a health advocate exclusively with IBD clients for the last 10 years, I know it’s time to bring the types of candid conversations I have with my clients out into the open…

It’s our time to go on an IBD healing journey and do it, like only a mom can… Let’s do this.

[music]

[03:13] Karyn: I’m so incredibly honored to welcome our guest, Ruthie to the show, I feel like I know her because she’s been in my ear, she’s in my years most mornings, Ruthie, I’m gonna try not to fan-girl on you too much if it’s just kind of surreal to have you here on the podcast, but welcome, I’m just really happy to share your light in your story with our listeners today.

Ruthie: Thank you so much. I’m like, I’m incredibly honored that you feel that way, and I’m so happy to be here and talk to you, and I’m excited…

Karyn: One of the things that I mentioned in Ruthie’s bio is that she practices meditation and yoga, and she also shares that with all of us.

So if you’ve ever been on Insight Timer and you’ve searched for IBD meditations, Ruthie has probably come up. And that’s why she’s in my ear most mornings because I’m listening to her as I am meditating and visualizing the whole healing process for my IBD.

So one of the things that Ruthie and I talked about starting with is just to start this episode with a grounding meditation so that we can just set our intention for what we wanna experience today. Does that sound okay with you with…

Ruthie: Sounds perfect. Yeah. Awesome.

Karyn: I’m Gonna let you take it away. I’m gonna get comfortable.

RUTHIE TAKES US THROUGH A GUIDED MEDITATION

[04:30] Ruthie: Yeah, get comfy. Okay, so yeah, just getting into a comfortable position wherever you happen to be in the world right now, and just as you arrive, it’s always really nice to just bring everything from the physical to the more subtle, so first just checking in with your posture and how your body is physically feeling right now and can check out the relationship between your shoulders and your hips and feel that they’re in line with each other. Another really nice one is the pelvic floor and feeling that aligned with the back of your throat and just kind of clicks you into place a little bit, and if you’re in a space where you feel safe to do so at any point, you can allow the eyes to gently close and just marking your arrival to this practice with a full and deep cleansing breath, taking a slow intentional in down through the nose and just holding that for a moment when you are full, just experiencing fullness and whenever you need to slow, be letting that go and pushing a little bit more air out of you, even once you think you’re empty, to just truly empty yourself and then pausing and experiencing emptiness, and then allowing the next breath to come as needed.

And if that exaggerated breath felt really good for you, you’re welcome to do that a few more times if you’d like, and at any point you can release all guidance over the breath and feel yourself stepping back up into that role of the observer and witnessing your breath rather than controlling it or guiding it, just watching the Body breath itself and know that this feels completely impossible to do, and that is perfectly okay if that’s where you are today, and other days… This is very straight forward and simple. So just letting yourself be exactly where you are in this moment, and then just letting your awareness gently rest on the face and just notice if there’s any areas of unnecessary tension for most of us, we hold a lot of tension in our jaw and our eyebrows and forehead, simply by being aware of these areas, we soften into them, I’m just allowing for any expression to gently melt away as you start to bring some awareness into the ears. I was just fully relaxing the ears, this is another place I found that I often hold a lot of tension without realizing it, so just letting the ears be where they are and starting to welcome in all the sounds that exist around you…

Maybe you’re in a very quiet space, so maybe the sounds that are in your environment is just the humming of the lights, maybe sounds of nature outside or traffic, or maybe you’re in a little bit of a busier environment, maybe you’re driving… Maybe you are out in public somewhere or in a busy city, so practicing just hearing all the sounds that you hear as part of your environment and letting them be a reminder of this moment, remembering that… Sounds do not exist in the past or in the future. They are purely in this moment, so they can be used as an anchor to remind you of everything that’s happening right now as you listen, just starting to maybe feel a slight pulsing sensation of the years and noticing all the sounds outside of you as well as… Now, inside of you, feeling that relationship or hearing that relationship between your inside world and the outside world, maybe hearing the sound of your soft breath, maybe starting to hear a distant rhythm of your heart beat, and then gradually calling more awareness to come into your heart and just bringing awareness to your own personal rhythm, your own personal drum beat that’s playing in the background of your entire life, remembering the miracle that is your heart, and the fact that it is beating for you every moment you’ve been alive and will continue to do so.

Without any of your control, without any of you’re doing and remembering how this is a pure gift and miracle to you, and all the love that comes from that, all the love that your heart has come from, knowing that only love is what makes this possible. I’m just feeling beneath everything else, just feeling that core sensation of love, of compassion and gratitude of patients, of understanding that all exists in your heart, at your core of who you are, and then starting to trace the space between your heart and your head is you feel the tip of your head reach a little bit higher up and just clearing that channel of energy from your heart to your brain, and just feeling that energetic and physical connection from your heart to your brain, you remind yourself that all of this love and compassion and gratitude that exists in your heart, is being fed into your brain and therefore into all of your senses, so allowing yourself to see things through the lens of love, to hear things through love, to smell things and taste things, and speak things through love, and just be in the pure love, that is you and the world around you may be feeling that same heart, be also existing in the space between the eyebrows, and just trusting your ability to love, testing your ability to heal, trusting your ability to be the best of yourself that you can be…

If it feels like something you’d like to do, you can slowly bring your hands to a prayer position at heart center and just feeling that connection of your palms and fingers, and as you take a deep breath and you can feel yourself expanding fully and welcoming the fresh air into your body. And as you exhale, just allowing the head to gently bow, and as you bow to the source of energy you’ve come from whatever that is to you, owing to the constant source of inspiration and guidance around you, bowing to everyone in the space who’s completed this practice alongside you, and most importantly, vowing to yourself or listening for choosing to show up and for being you, and may this act continue to heal you through the rest of your days and nights, you bring the same sense of love and to everything that you do and to everyone that you see. Namaste.

[13:44] Karyn:  That was beautiful. See why I listened to her almost every day? It just gives me a sense of light and intention, so I really hope that it… I don’t know, when you’re doing a meditation, does it help you as well? How do you feel that?

Ruthie: Yeah, that’s really the main thing that kept me going with doing guided meditations was that I started to feel like it’s sort of like a sense of responsibility because you can’t really do an effective meditation if you are not doing it. Does that make sense? So I need to… And sometimes when I’m by myself, it’s a little bit harder for me to do it now because I’m like that it’s just me and I’m not… There’s no responsibility for me to stay in that space, but when I feel like I’m meeting others and bringing them in the place with me, it really is helpful for me to just stay and receive and speak and… Yeah.

Karyn: Yeah, that’s cool. I’m glad that you… Yeah, that… Yeah, I’m glad it does something for you too, as you’re the one giving us so much to do so…

That was wonderful. Like so many of us that come to helping people that have IBD, you come to this because of your own journey, you have ulcerative colitis, and I want our audience to hear your story because it is so powerful, and I think it will help so many who are going through some of the same things that you went through, and I’m curious if you can take us back in time, you can think about some of your first symptoms that you had that you know now were colitis, and it could be even before a doctor diagnosed you. What were some of the things that you are experiencing, what were some of your first early memories of ulcerative colitis playing a role in your life?

A STORY WE CAN ALL RELATE TO

[15:50] Ruthie: Yeah, so it goes back really far… Basically, as long as I can remember, I was in kindergarten when I was diagnosed as lactose intolerant, so that kind of started the whole like, Oh, I have a sensitive stomach. And I would always have a permanent pass to the nurse’s office throughout… Every grade in school, I spent a lot of time in the nurse’s office, we were always best friends, and I just survive off Pepto bismol and gasex and just… My mom had a sensitive stomach, so I just kinda thought it was somewhat normal, and then once I was all in through middle school, and then once I got to high school, I was in high school, which was scary and new, and it was intimidating, and I’ve always been an athlete, very competitive athlete, so I really care a lot about volleyball and I wanted to just be the best athlete possible and make the highest team and just do everything the most I could do it, and I started to really notice that before… Everything that was important in my life, I would not be able to get off the toilet and I would just be stuck on the toilet, I would just pretend I was playing games on my phone.

I just really played it off for a long time for a few months, and then finally… It was like a perfect storm. It was right before mid-terms. My freshman year, it was right before a big volleyball game that I knew I couldn’t miss a few hours before, and I was stuck on the toilet and my mom finally was just like, really… What’s going on? What’s happening? Are you okay? And I was like, Oh, I’ve been pooping blood for a few months, and I just never really said anything, I was just so embarrassed I was… I just figured it was a stomach bug and it would get better, and it just never got better, and it was really, really hard to accept that, it still is. Kinda hard to accept it. But yes, once I told her that she was like, Alright, you’re not going to the game. Or going to hospital, I went to the hospital, and that’s when I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. My uncle had the same thing, and he actually had his colon removed to… But then once his was removed, they removed his colon, they found out he had Crohn’s disease, so he had Crown’s disease in his colon, so once they removed the colon and it just spread to the other intestines.

So they told me about all of that when I was diagnosed. They told me about the J-pouch, the ostomy, that whole thing, and I was like, and I was like, I was 15, I was like, Why are you telling me that this does not apply to me, I’m fine. And I was just really angry at that doctor, and so my mom took me to a children’s hospital in Boston, ’cause I was like, I just couldn’t do it with the doctor I had, and they were a lot more gentle with the information they told me and we’re mindful about how it was affecting me. And that was really nice. So I tried everything I was on Lialda for a long time, then I tried Remicade, and I hated that I had all these weird skin tags that came up from Remicade, which is weird. I tried Symphony… Let’s see, methotrexate, Humara, but I basically tried… Everything that was available to me, and I was doing on the SCD diet. I’ve heard you talk about that, and I had some relief from that for sure, but I was also just so young and the thought of me having to eat like that the rest of my life was infuriating and I was just like, I’m not gonna do this, I need something else.

[19:50]: So I just kind of slowly started introducing things back into my diet, so I’ve still remained gluten-free and dairy-free, and those are the most important things, and I try to be mostly sugar-free, but that is incredibly difficult to do, but I know for a fact that sugar is the devil when it comes to my symptoms, so… Yeah, and then so I was 18. I wasn’t even 18 years. I graduated, I moved to New York. I was modeling at the time, I went to fashion school, and I was just like, Get me out of this town, I need to get out. I need to live my life. So I went to New York and I was there for a few, I think two months almost, and then it was mid-terms on my first semester of college and couldn’t get off the toilet once again, and I hadn’t really been able to eat anything other than white rice for over a month. So I was 100 pounds at 5’11”, and now it was… I didn’t even feel like it was weird, I just noticed that people were looking at me differently, and that was pretty weird ’cause I was like…

I was just like, I felt very disconnected from the world around me, and then my mom came to visit me and she saw me and was like, that’s it, we’re going to the hospital. So she took me back to Boston, and I ended up staying there for a month, and I was on IV steroids for about two weeks, and the inflammation ended up getting worse. So then they were like, We have to take it out. So then I had my first of the three step colectomy, I got my colon taken out, woke up with an ostomy bag, had the ostomy for six months, and that whole six months is pretty blurry for me, just ’cause… I felt really low, I was all excited ’cause I was with a good modeling agency at the time, and I was like, Oh, I’ll go back and I can do modeling jobs with my bag and can be like… Bringing ostomy back into the public eye, I was like this is awesome, it… And of course, I go to my agency and they’re like, No, you’re not ready, I’m not gonna put you out for anything when you’re like this, so I was like, I can’t even do a beauty stuff, and they were like, No, like, Just wait until…

Karyn: I definitely want to hear more about that, ’cause I know you mentioned modeling…Yeah, and you’re doing this with ulcerative colitis… Did you do it before you had the ostomy as well…

Ruthie: Yeah, I started when I was 15, around the same time I was diagnosed.

Karyn: What is that? I can’t imagine that world with ulcerative colitis. What is that like?

THE PITFALLS OF MODELING WITH A CHRONIC ILLNESS

[22:41] Ruthie: It was pretty bad. It’s pretty like everything that you hear about… It’s all true. It’s definitely changed, in recent years a little bit, but I don’t even think it’s changed that much, it’s just like, what’s acceptable has changed, so now they’re just holding you to a different standard, but they’re still holding you to a very strict standard, but yeah, they… I was told I was pear shaped when I was 15, and I was always told I had to lose inches around my hips, and I had to tone up or trim up, and I’ve always been tall and thin, and I think just once I heard that I was really like my whole world was kinda shattered and I just… I really saw myself differently, and then I noticed how whenever I was sick, I would lose weight, and I noticed when I lost weight, I would book more jobs. So I definitely think that the modeling industry or just being a part of it from such a young age contributed to how my disease accelerated and how it just got bad so fast because I was just destroying myself mentally ’cause I really didn’t think it mattered. I was just being very mean to myself all the time, and definitely is not good for your digestion at all.

Karyn: And are you at modeling jobs and having to sit on the toilet and having people to wait for you, that happens in lots of industries, but like any job you could have, if you have to take time off to go and use the bathroom…

Right, that’s just not acceptable at work, but I can imagine in a modeling job that would just be heightened.

Ruthie: I just wouldn’t eat, I wouldn’t eat for the whole thing before I shot, I wouldn’t eat the whole morning and it would be fine, but I was withering away, I was just… Not even a person

Karyn: So you were doing those things that you needed to do to not go to the bathroom, but then it was to your detriment because there’s no nutrients, you’re losing weight, things are just spiraling out of control, and so you get to a point where your doctor says, We’re gonna do this ostomy and J pouch. And what… They mentioned it to you earlier on… Right, but now this is what… How many years later that… You’re hearing this again?

Ruthie: Three years.

Karyn: So now you’re 18. 18, I remember when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s when I was 17, but I know I had it before that some of the time and my mother took me to a support group thinking that this is really gonna help me. And one of the first people that I met said to me, girlfriend, just do yourself a favor, get that ostomy… And just be done with that, right? Your whole life is gonna be better if you do that, and I asked my mother what that was, and she told me– she was a nurse, she told me… And I just remember thinking, What? No, just was I freaking out so much that I never went back to the support group, so now I’m imagining you, you’re 18 years old and they’re telling you this again, and you’ve gone through every medication you tried SCD, you’ve done all of the things. Right. And so I can’t imagine, number one, how you were feeling in that moment, I would love for you to talk us through that and then I would love to know…

Can you kind of talk us through that? I know you had three surgeries, what actually happens, because I know there’s people listening who are thinking, my doctor told that to me, I’m thinking That’s what’s down the road for me, but it seems so secretive, like doctors don’t really talk about what it is until you’re there and then you have to make up your mind really quickly… So what can you tell us about… What was that like for you to be at the end of your rope? And then can you talk us through what actually happens, what do these three surgeries entail.

THREE SURGERIES THAT CHANGE RUTHIE’S LIFE FOREVER

[26:47] Ruthie: Yeah, so when I first heard about the J-pouch thing, when I was first diagnosed, it was… I had the same reaction as you. Just like, No, no, no, there’s no way. It’s ever gonna happen to me. I will do anything to avoid that. But I think my inital action to it was so strong is because some part of me was like, that’s gonna happen to you. That’s gonna be your future. And I was like, no, no, no, I was just kinda fighting with myself for years, and then once I was in the hospital, it was kind of… And they told me that that’s what I need to happen. It was more like, it was a weird times of relief because I was like… One, I had a feeling that this was gonna happen. So then I was like, Okay, well, I guess I was right. I guess that was the reason I felt that way, this is gonna happen. And then also, I was so sick of going to the doctors and having them try new things and Oh, well, this new thing happened, that was an exhausting process for me, and I was just like, I want this dying organ out of my body.

Get it out. This is not helping me anyway, is hurting me so much, and I was under the impression is what the doctor said is no colon… no, colitis.

NO COLON, NO COLITIS???

Karyn: I think that’s what a lot of doctors say. Right, that’s what he said, yeah. I don’t have this problem anymore. If you get the procedure done.

Ruthie: Just like if you don’t have a colon, you can’t have colitis, and I was like, That makes sense. Cool, let’s do it. Yeah, but it…

Karyn: They actually think that I… I don’t think they’re malicious or something like… I think they actually believe that…

Ruthie: Yeah, but the thing is, is that pouchitis exists… I first time I got pouchitis, I was so angry ’cause I was just like, Come on, if I’m gonna have the exact same symptoms as a colitis flare-up, I would rather have my colon then have some pouch that’s now called pouchitis. I’m very lucky that I did that. I don’t have a lot of those, but that’s when my uncle always does, but he has at least a few every year, and he’s in his 60s, so it’s just crazy. So I wish they had told me about that. I wish they  been more real with me about my life is not gonna be fixed and it’s not gonna be perfect after this, because that’s really what I… That’s why I was dreaming up in my head, and that’s kind of the main reason why I was like, Yeah, let’s do this. I had the first surgery was really just fast because I was already in the hospital, I was already admitted, I’ve been there for three weeks, and then I had it and then I recovered for a week, and that process, just waking up with the ostomy bag is very strange, it was very surreal too, because leading up to it, I was watching a ton of YouTube videos of people with stoma bags and changing their bed, I was studying basically ’cause I’m like, this is a serious thing.

A part of my internal organs is gonna be on the outside of my body, and I have to take care of that, and that’s on me, so I just wanted to know as much as possible beforehand, and they have a stoma nurse that comes… Is always really helpful. They come in the hospital, and then I had a visiting nurse come, I think for the first few weeks that I had one just while I felt like I needed it to help me change the bag and to help me about the skin care and everything, ’cause that was a whole nightmare thing too, once I had the ostomy bag, life was… I was just recovering the whole time, basically, it was just… It was about six months that I had it, and then once I started to feel… It was a huge relief, I should say that, because going from… I had a bathroom log when I was in the hospital logging nine hours a day on the toilet, and that is not a life, and it’s impossible to live like in between that and sleep. There’s no life there. That’s all it was, it was that. And Netflix, and that’s everything.

And some sleep if I could. And so once I had the ostomy, it was beautiful. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing, and I understand why that person said that to you in the support group, ’cause there are a lot of people who get the bag and they never wanna go back. They’re like, This is perfect. This is amazing and great. I, over time, I didn’t feel that way, but when I first got it, it was just such a relief to not have to run to the bathroom every two seconds, ’cause my whole life was just doing something… Running to the bathroom, doing something, running to the bathroom and just constant every day all day. And to not have to do that, I was like, the possibilities are endless. I can do whatever I want. I’m from being in

Karyn: I’m free.

Ruthie: Yes, exactly. Definitely freedom, it was a really great thing. But I had so many issues with the skin, the bag, it would leak onto my skin, and then I’d get these really painful rashes of the skin being basically raw, and I hated that, and a few times in the middle of the night, I would wake up and the bag exploded, so I was just covered in my own poop, and that was like… I never want that to happen to anyone, but it stunk and yeah, just things like that, and just the fact that I felt so vulnerable and just the fact that someone… If someone could come and just grab my stomach and not even know that it’s there, and then everything’s out and my insides are exposed to the world and just… That was really scary and anxiety-producing for me, so I definitely wanted the reversal and the second surgery was about six months after the first, and It was three months after the first. And then they kept the ostomy bag and they just constructed the J-pouch, so the J-pouch is made out of your small intestine, so there’s nothing like artificial inside me, and it works as a colon is just smaller.

Karyn: So they constructed the J-pouch and I still had the stoma bag and then recovered from that surgery, that one was fine, it kinda just felt like the first recovery, it felt better than the first recovery ’cause I didn’t have a big incision, so then three months after that for maybe four months after that, so some amount of time after that, I had the reversal, so they wanna give your J-pouch, like some time to just get adjusted to being in your body before it has to work and do everything

[34:02] Ruthie: And they reconnected the end of the small intestine into the j-pouch… So yeah, they reconnected everything, they put it back inside me, and then I was working, and the one thing that nobody warned me about that I really wish someone warned me about was the diaper rash, ’cause when you don’t poop out of your butt for six months, and then you do it again. It’s not fun. It’s like you’re a new born baby, and that lasted way longer than I expected…. A few months. Yeah, it was intense, but I found a lot of good products. Well, having a bidet is really important, and having calmaceptine was really nice. It’s like a more minty stuff that you put on and yeah, there’s things you can do that make it a little better, but it’s intense for sure.

WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW CAN HURT YOU

Karyn: One of the things that… Well, I hear this from every single client that I work with, they’ll tell me… My doctor never told me this, my doctor never told me that… They just don’t know. And you mentioned the patios, you mentioned the pain of now having to re-train to go to the bathroom… Right. Or is there anything else that you think would be helpful for people to know? This is what your doctor is not telling you, This is what’s gonna be on after… The thing that I hear most about is from patients… Yeah, but is there anything else that you feel like your doctor’s just not telling you this…

Ruthie: Yeah, well, so I’ve had a total of six surgeries, now I had those initial three, and then I’ve had three additional because of bowel obstructions, because when you have any sort of abdominal surgery, you’re left with a lot of scar tissue, which I was not told about beforehand, and that scar tissue can cause so many issues and such as bowel obstructions, and I’ve had three different bowel obstructions, and it’s just like where you feel like you’re pregnant, nothing will pass through you at all, and just the worst pain and then the only way to clear it is to put an NG tube in your nose, so it’s like a vacuum that they stick up your nose and it goes down your throat and vacuums everything out the worst for 24 hours too. It’s ridiculous or longer. So yeah, that was something that nobody warned me about, and just the fact of having any sort of surgery on your stomach, it causes some sort of trauma and some sort of scar tissue, and those are the things that… They just have all these others, there’s just way more to it than just like no ulcerative colitis and that’s what really makes me upset to think about because I’m just like…

I just wanted someone to sit down with me and tell me every single thing that could happen if I had the surgery and everything that couldn’t happen, because… Even if I knew all of these things, I probably would have still done it. It would have been way nicer to know beforehand that this was a possibility rather than feeling like I was blind-sided, so… Yeah, exactly. That’s a big one.

Karyn: Yeah, I really want doctors to do a better job with this.

Ruthie: Yeah.

Karyn: I really don’t like hearing from people who have had it down there, they tell, everything’s gonna be fine. It’s just gonna be fine. No problem.

Ruthie: Just be real with me. Tell me it’s not gonna be fine. I would rather they just tell me the truth, ’cause in a lot of ways, it’s gonna be better…

Karyn: Right. Yet then there’s a lot that comes with it as well. so I have had… Not my colon, but I’ve had the removal of my small intestine and not the whole thing, but almost 10 feet of it, a really big chunk that has really affected me, and it happened when I was young too. And so I haven’t had an IBD surgery in 18 years, but the complications that I’ve now had from it, they said We’re gonna take your disease out now with Crohn’s, they don’t promise you that you’re gonna be healed because Crohn’s doesn’t usually work that way. It will usually come back and they did tell me to their credit, they told me it will probably come back and it did, so I had the first surgery with four and a half feet to have the second surgery with five feet that they took out, so now it’s almost 10 feet, it’s been 18 years and the scar tissue has now built up, so I have challenges with food passing through because of the scar tissue, and so I always think to myself, it would have been nice if…

They would have told me that, but I can’t go back in time. And so I try to live my life not feeling sorry for myself about the past and not feeling like what is my future gonna be like because I’ve had these surgeries in the scar tissue, it just keeps getting worse and worse. So for you, I would love to know, how do you sTay in the present, how do you not think about what was or what could have been, and how do you not think about… What could happen in the future? How do you stay present?

[39:18] Ruthie: Yeah. Well, I definitely do. I definitely do think about the past and the future, and I definitely have long periods of time, particularly after surgeries and unexpected surgeries, ’cause I had two unexpected surgeries in 2020, and I just really thought I was over everything, and that really messed me up for some time because I was just very afraid that like, Oh, what’s the point of doing anything if I’m just gonna have another surgery tomorrow, ’cause I felt fine beforehand, and then just one day I felt really sick, went to the hospital, wake up and out of surgery, I…

Karyn: Right, that’s how obstructions can work. You’re fine, and the next day you’re not.

Ruthie: And that’s terrifying.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO NOT LIVE IN FEAR WHEN THE WORST HAS HAPPENED TO YOU?

Karyn: So now you live in this constant state of when is that going to happen again, at least that’s what I’m doing.

Ruthie: Yeah, so what I do to help me with that stuff is… Well, first of all, I notice that I’m doing it because I think for a long time, you don’t even notice that you’re doing it ’cause you’re just like, This is the only way to think, there’s no other way to be like, This is real. ’cause it is a real thing, and you have to validate that that is actually a possibility, it could happen, and I think that’s what I was struggling with for a long time because I was just like… ’cause the fears are rational, they’re not out of the blue, it’s based on history, so you have to give yourself a break because you are afraid for good reason that it happened and it could happen again. So it’s like remembering that. And at the same time, I try to remind myself that if that does happen, what am I gonna do today that is going to just make me feel good and make me feel happy because yeah, it is a possibility I could be in the hospital tomorrow and say, there for a week. So how am I gonna live my life today and take advantage of the fact that I’m not in the hospital and then I’m not sick, because you can…

It’s such a such a flip though, because you can really easily just be like, there’s no point in doing anything if I’m gonna be in the hospital tomorrow, or you could flip it to be like, Well, if I’m gonna be the hospital more, I better do all the things today, ’cause I feel great today. And that is where I try to say, But you have to be… You have to be really, really kind to yourself when you slip into the other way, because it’s something my therapist told me that was really helpful, is that just about self-compassion and how our brains think that if we’re really hard on ourselves about feeling a certain way or doing something that… That’ll change the way that we do it. So it’s like if I’m constantly thinking about how I’m scared, I’m gonna be in the hospital, but then I tell myself, No, stop. Stop thinking like that, because you have to live your life, you have to be happy today, well, if you come at it from that hard perspective, it’s gonna keep you stuck in the cycle, so the only way to come out of it is by validating why you are stuck in the cycle.

And just imagine if your best friend or your daughter was going through the same thing, and how would you speak to them if they were going through it like it’s not their fault that they are scared because history is scary and the future is scary, but right now, everything is okay, so we can work through the things we felt in the past, we can work through the things or kind of plan mentally plan for things happening in the future, ’cause there’s definitely value in that, or just being like, Okay, well, if I get check when I’m out here with these people, what will I do and just kinda… It gives me a sense of peace just knowing that I’ve already played through this in my mind, so if it happens, I’m good, and then I don’t have to worry about it when I’m there, ’cause it’s like a dress rehearsal most… But I know that might not be helpful for everyone, so just kind of like a note.

Karyn: That’s hugely helpful, actually. Yeah, so we try to stay in the present. We try to live in the moment and enjoy it because we don’t know what the future is gonna hold, but at the same time, not feeling guilty or berating ourselves because we’ve planned for the future, or because one day we got stuck in the past, right. When the…

Ruthie: You can be in the present, and we think you can be presently planning for the future, and you can be presently working through the things you’ve lived in the past, is you just… Yeah, just being present with what you’re thinking about and not being like thinking about the past and feeling it like you’re fully there, it’s like watching it more like an observer, observing what happened in the past, what can you learn from what happened in the past? How can you apply that to what’s happening now, and how can you apply those lessons to what could happen in the future.

Karyn: A much healthier way to go about… Yeah, but I also, I tell my clients and I try to be this way with myself, like some days I’m just gonna have a bad day and I’m gonna cry. And that’s okay.

Ruthie: And you should do that. Everyone should do this exactly.

Karyn: If I don’t want anybody to live there, I would never wanna live in that place, but some days you need to do that, and I think oftentimes, as women, we feel like we’re just not strong, if we indulge in that it… And that’s even just a really horrible way to say it, indulge, it’s not indulging in a US being in that state, but we’re told, Well, no, you’re just… You can’t… So I encourage people to be there, what you’ve gone through is a really challenging thing, what we go through every day with IBD is really challenging, and so we just need to allow ourselves to be where we’re at…

Rutie: And every storm runs out of rain, so

Karyn: I love that, that’s the… Exactly, yeah, I kind of say it a little bit differently, but it… Same sentiment, I say, This is your now, if not your future, this is your now, it’s not your future. It doesn’t have to be your future.  now, so yeah, it’s like there’s the storm, but it’s gonna run out eventually that…

Karyn: One of the things that I really think that people don’t give enough thought to is the idea of surgeries like this with having an ostomy and having a j-pouch is that just going through all of the steps that you go through, it’s a loss and it’s a trauma, and oftentimes we think of it as, I don’t know, just a medical procedure, but actually there’s a loss in a trauma there, and so you might think that it’s this grief process and then you’ll just go through those… Do you know Elizabeth Keubler Ross, the stages of grief?She created the stages of grief, Denial, anger, resentment, acceptance… I don’t know, there’s another one in there that I’m not thinking of, but… So she created these stages of grief, and so people tell us that this is how you go through it, right, you’ll go through denial, then you’ll go through anger, but what I find is that, at least for me, and I would guess for stone and J pouch, people as well, it doesn’t actually work in the circular way…

Let go way. A circle doesn’t matter. So sometimes some days you might feel acceptance and then other days you might be back in denial and then… Right, do you find that for you as well, that you’re kind of all over the place with the emotions…

CHRONIC ILLNESS GRIEF: THE UNSTAGE PROCESS

Ruthie: Absolutely, and I think that a lot of the books I’ve read about ’cause… Yeah, you’re absolutely right. It’s, we’re morning a loss, we’ve lost an organ or we’ve lost a chunk of ourselves, so you have to… It’s a morning process, and you have to grieve that loss and accept where you’re currently at, and the organs that are here inside of you and are working and not taking those for granted either, but absolutely. Some days I will feel on top of the world, I’ve accepted. I am like, I did it, I had a tear. Exactly, and it’s like you feel like you kind of made it, but then the next day it’s like, can’t get off the couch and I’m crying all day, so it’s definitely… And I think a lot of the grief process of it and everything, if you read it exactly as it is and take it in exactly as it is, it can be kind of harmful just because you don’t think you’re doing it right, if you’re just like, Oh well, that’s not what my process has been, and it’s like every single person’s grieving process is going to be different, and it’s a very personal process, and it’s not something anyone can really tell you either, it’s like you can listen to what has worked for other people, but ultimately, it’s, you’re different and you have to do what’s right for you.

So if someone suggests something that like, Oh, you should… You’re this far away from when it happened, so you should be in this stage, it’s like… That is going… It’s like a record scratch. It’s like if your reality something, but then you’re hearing from someone else that your reality should be something different, then you’re just like, Wait, well, if I should be there then, but it’s like, No, just let herself be exactly where you are and take in what other people say, and things that resonate with you and makes sense and feel helpful, but take everything with a grain of salt because you… I’ve got really caught in comparing my healing to other people, healing, and it’s never gonna be the same, so there’s no real point in doing it.

[49:20] Karyn: When you’re feeling that way and you’re in your own pain, one of the things that you mentioned is therapy, and I think that that can be so helpful, I feel like somewhere… Maybe it was on one of your YouTube videos that I saw that you’ve done hypnotherapy.

THE POWER OF THERAPY FOR PHYSICAL ILLNESS

Ruthie: Yeah.

Karyn: Well, when I was 17 and just diagnosed, my mother took me to a therapist who did hypnotherapy, and I found that to be amazingly beneficial. Have you had the same experience?

Ruthie: Yeah, I think it’s beautiful. I think it’s way different than what I had in my head as to what hypnotherapy would be, ’cause I feel like we all have this first vision of hypnotherapy as being…

Karyn: Oh, like a little worse, the hypnotherapist on the stage who making them for

Like a dog and like a chicken…

Ruthie: Exactly, and that’s what kind of blew my mind when I first started doing God hypnosis was because I was like, This is what I’ve been doing, this is… It’s not the person who’s the therapist is not doing anything for you. They are guiding you through the process, that you can do it for yourself. And I think that’s something like in my head before I was like, Well, what if they do something to me that’s scary or harmful or too much, but it’s like you have all of the power, they’re just suggesting things to you, and if it feels good, you go with it, if it doesn’t, then leave it. So yeah, I really helpful.

[50:55] Karyn: And so when we think about therapy and hypnosis, that kinda leads me into thinking about meditation… Right, and… And also yoga. So how did those practices develop for you?

RUTHIE HELPS HER UC WITH MEDITATION AND YOGA

Ruthie: So yoga, something I kind of always been in my life in the background, my mom always had these yo good tapes I would do with her when I was little, but I never really… It just seemed kind of like another explore, another work at thing to do, so I didn’t really think of it as being anything deeper or more than just the physical postures, the asanas of yoga. I think I was 20, 21 maybe. It was in 2018, I decided to really go for it with yoga and I went through a really bad break-up, and I was just getting off of, or I was trying to get off of the biologics I was on, but I knew I had to make serious lifestyle changes, if I wanted to do that successfully, so I was like, I’m just gonna force… Or my sister was the one actually who said… She’s like, something crazy awesome happened. Did you force yourself to do yoga every single day, even when you don’t feel like it? So I was like, Okay, I’ll try it for a month. And I just never really stopped and I just… I did it every single day, just for you too, and just it some amount of yoga every day and really, really loved it, and I could see how it would just get better and better, ’cause it just…

In a month I did it. It was just getting better. So then I booked a trip for my yoga teacher training and went to Costa Rica for a month in April of 2018, and did a 200-hour teacher training, which was amazing. It was just like everything. It sounds like it was beautiful. Perfect. We did so much yoga, we were vegan for the month, which was nice, it was cool for me to try vegan, but my body definitely was craving red meat by the end of it,

Karyn: and I think everyone is totally individual, for some being vegan works for them, And then some, They need meat. It’s all individual.

Ruthie: Exactly, but it was nice that I tried, ’cause I probably would not have ever tried if I wasn’t forced to, so that was really great, and I came back from that trip and I felt like… Well, that was the first time I ever heard or I ever understood why people say food is fuel, ’cause that’s never been something that’s ever made sense to me my entire life, I’ve always just been like, You eat what’s gonna hurt you the least, and that’s just what you eat, I never thought of it as something as being energetic for you, if I wanted to have energy, I wouldn’t eat and then I would be like, I have a lot of energy, and that’s just what my life has always been, but when I went there, I would eat a meal that was grown on the land we were living on, and I would be like, so much energy, I felt like I tried to stress or something, but better, it was just like… Yeah, and I was like, I didn’t even know it was possible for people to feel like this, so I felt like I got a glimpse of what normal people feel like a normal people feel like every day healthy people.

So I was like, I don’t ever wanna lose this, how do I just keep this all the time. And yeah, it was really, really great. And I just continued to do yoga when I got back to the training, but then… And I was really into the whole mindset thing, and I was… Got a rake certification, and then I started to hear about the solar plexus and how your solar plex is easier, so forth and self-confident, so then I was like, Oh, that I… Yeah, I was like, that’s why I got sick was because I hated myself so much, and so then I was just really kind of equating everything, it’s like, Oh, it’s all been my fault now that I know… Now I can control it and now I won’t ever get sick in again, and I was there, I was like, This is it, I figured it out. And then of course, I got sick again and everything just shattered again, but we came to a way… It was kind of like the pendulum, I was all the way over here, I was way over here, and when I got to take again, it forced me to come to the Center and just be like, Okay, it’s not…

There’s not one answer for everything, there’s always gonna be… It’s a both/and thing. That’s another thing my therapist taught me, right? Yeah, because I always say but… And then every time I catch myself now and I’m like, No, it’s Both/and…love that. Yeah, western medicine and eastern medicine. We can have both of them. Exactly, I was really kind of shunning Western medicine for a long time, and just like… I have those periods too, but I kinda came to a center ground, I’m like, No, I’m alive because of it. So exactly.

Karyn: We can’t just count any of it, we have to use what helps us. Exactly. And so, when did the meditation come in?

Ruthie: So meditation was the main thing that I gravitated toward from the yoga teacher training, and we did these inner child meditations and Archangel invitations and all these kind of journey, a beautiful ones, and I just… It made so much sense to me. I just, I can’t even really explain it. It was just like, Oh yeah, I know exactly how to do this. It was just like, it felt like exactly what I needed to do, and it was… I never felt like a challenge for me at all to do guided cations, it was just like… It comes very, very naturally. So then when I got back from that teacher training, I found Insight Timer from my teachers there, and Tanis Fishman is an amazing teacher on inside time or a Jennifer Piercy. I love their style of speaking and just how inviting it is and not… ’cause there are a lot of teachers, everyone needs something different to click into that space, so I always say to people who are starting, I try as many different teachers as possible in her area, many times

Karyn: There’s no shortage. I’m always recommending Insight Timer. I love it, and I love that you gave couple of more names ’cause I’m gonna go check them out now…

Ruthie: Yeah, yeah. They’re amazing, amazing teachers. And a lot of what I say is  middle nuggets from what I picked from there were a lot of yoga needs are… Have you tried Yoga Nidra?

Karyn: Yes, I have.

Ruthie: Yep, that’s beautiful. Like a yogic sleep. So I tried all that stuff. I was like, This is amazing. And I just started looking, I’m like, I want something that I can listen to when I’m on the toilet, and I can’t go to the bathroom. And like, I want something, it’s for that, and I started looking and I couldn’t find anything, or maybe there was a few but didn’t really resonate or something, so then I was like, Alright, well, I’m just gonna make my own. So I just wrote it out, I recorded it, and then that was the first and only meditation I thought I was gonna do, and it’s like a 10-minute… It’s a solar plexus, the first one on my YouTube and on everything, and it has… I think it still has the most plays out of all of the ones I’ve done and see… Yeah, they really resonated with it, and I listen to it when I still and I need it, ’cause I really make a lot of the medications like for myself and for everyone else who feels like me…

Yeah, and then I just… Once I got positive feedback from all of that, I was just like, Why don’t I just do this… This is the perfect job for me. Like it’s a job that forces me to tune into myself and to be present, and it gives you that responsibility, ’cause I did love teaching yoga, but I was… I was teaching 10 classes a week at one point, and it was like, I can’t keep this up, this is too rigorous of a lifestyle, like meditations, so I’m like, I could do 10 to get… Meditation is easy in a week, probably more so… Yeah, so it was just… I really fell in love with it.

Karyn: I’m so glad that they’re there, you know, for a long time I was doing inside timer and I didn’t even look for any kind of digestive healing meditations ’cause I just figured they weren’t there, but when you actually go and look… It’s amazing, there’s a lot of really specific with whatever ailment you have, so I just let a timer, I highly encourage everybody to go there, so most of your work right now is on Insight Timer, and then we can also find you on YouTube. I know you have yoga on YouTube as well. Are those the main places where everybody can find your work…

Ruthie: Yeah, YouTube, Instagram, Insight, Timer, the usual stuff.

Karyn: Awesome, awesome.

Karyn: Well, I want to close out today, just like we started, I want to close out with another meditation so that we can leave today just feeling really wonderful about the day, with hope. Right, yeah, I would love for us to close out that way before we do that, do you have anything, any last nugget words of wisdom, anything you wanna just to leave us with?

THE POWER OF JOURNALING ON YOUR HEALING JOURNEY

[1:00:03] Ruthie: Yeah, I really think this is something that’s been very prevalent in my life lately, and I really just wanna say it as many people as possible. I really think that… It was actually two things. So I think that that journaling, I really think it’s necessary, and I don’t think you have to be a writer or call yourself a writer to do it, but any form of it too, even if it’s in the form of doodles or just scribbles on a paper, I think that documenting your life in some form, you can just pictures on your phone and reviewing that is so important too, ’cause nobody can really teach you what you can teach yourself, and by living your life and documenting parts of it in some form, your external world as well, as your internal world, things that happen in your life, and then how you feel about them and the thoughts that you’re having currently, I think doing that over time and reviewing that over time, you learn so much about yourself and it’s things that nobody else could ever tell you, because if you’re in our world, but we always forget, we forget the things are lessons we learned all the time, so just…

Even just this morning, I re-watched one of my old You Tube videos ’cause I realized I hadn’t watched any of them ever, and I was like, What did I even say on these… And I was like, Oh my God, I felt like I was learning things. Listening to myself, Fuck. I was like, This is crazy. ’cause you forget everything. So I think that is so, so helpful, especially with deep emotional stuff, which I feel like people with IBD often

Karyn: So no. True. And do you think that there’s the best time of day to do that, do you think we should plan in the morning to do it or in the evening to do it, or do you think it’s like just… When the mood strikes you. What do you think works best?

Ruthie: I think definitely when the mood strikes you, but I think when you are starting, that’s not gonna happen until you force yourself to do it, so I think starting first thing in the morning is really like Julia Cameron, I think it’s gonna be… Julie camera has a book, The Artist’s Way, and she talks about the morning pages, how every morning first in in the morning, write three pages, even if it’s just like, I don’t know what to write, This is dumb. I don’t wanna write right now, even if it’s just that for three pages, it’s kind of like a brain dump, like emptying the trash can on your computer or something, just getting it all out, so then you can start with a fresh mind.

Karyn: Yeah, I read that book a while ago, you know what I’m gonna link it in the show notes because everybody should read that book.

Ruthie: That is a must read for… Sure, read for sure.

Karyn: Okay, and I know you wanted to mention one more thing…

Ruthie: Yeah. Okay, the last thing is this really helpful analogy, I say it in a lot of my medications, but I kinda blew my mind when I first heard it. There’s this teacher. He teaches ancient astrology. It’s nightlight astrology on YouTube, but the teachers of course, like a YouTube course on The Hermetica, which is another great book, it’s the ancient teachings of Hermes, like the last wisdom of the Pharaohs. So what the symbolism of the moon and the sun, so the moon in ancestral represents the body like our physical bodies, and the sign represents our soul, so the moon does not have its own light, like our body is just matter. And we reflect the Moon reflects the light from the sun, from the sun. So our body is brought to life by our soul, and sometimes it’s a new moon, and sometimes the moon is totally in the dark, fund the soul, sometimes our body is totally in the dark and we feel like we’re in the trenches and nothing’s ever been good and nothing will ever be good again, and we’re just disconnected and lost feeling, and then sometimes we’re a full moon and sometimes we feel like…

Ruthie: Totally illuminated. Totally connected. Totally. Great. And with where we’re at, and then there’s all those phases of the moon in between, so it’s like you… Whenever you’re in one phase, you feel like That’s where you’re at, that’s where you’ve always been, it’s where you will always be, and there’s nothing that’s ever gonna change, but it always changes, and we always go through the cycles of the moon, just like the moon does, sometimes were partially illuminated, sometimes we’re partially in the dark and sometimes we’re full, sometimes we’re in the dark and just being whatever you’re at and not trying to change it, not trying to be a full moon when you’re in a new moon, just being the new moon, just being in that darkness and knowing that the next phase is right around the corner, so that’s very helpful.

Karyn: So I love that, so much wisdom from you, and you mentioned so many things that I’m gonna go through this before I make it go live, and I will put all the links in the show notes because I was… Wisdom from you. That’s amazing, all the things that you’ve learned in this short period of time, and I’ve gotten so much from your Insight Timer meditations, but who now you were just the fount of wisdom. That’s awesome. I love.

Ruthie: Thank you so much.

Karyn: Oh, it’s been such a joy. It’s such an honor for me to talk with you today. I’m just really grateful to you, so thank you for sharing the space with me, Ruthie, and thank you for sharing your light with everyone that’s listening.

Ruthie: Thank you so much for having me, this is awesome.

Karyn: Let’s close out with a meditation… Yeah. Okay.

ONE LAST MEDITATION WITH RUTHIE

[1:05:32] Ruthie: Yeah, I wanna do… We’re gonna do a stomach one too, so… Let’s do it. Okay, so just coming back to that comfortable position, if you’re sitting with your feet on the ground is really feeling your feet on the ground, closing the eyes if you feel safe to do so, and taking that same cleansing breath, full in Him, in full exhale. Just letting the crown of your head lift up, light we toward the ceiling and just feeling the length of your spine as you start to settle back into your body, just coming back to your heart, feeling once again that unique rhythm that your heart has… Remembering that connection that your heart has to your mind, to your senses, and now remembering the connection that heart has to your stomach, and just feeling all that love and… And that’s in the heart. And how that is directly connected, passing through the lungs and coming into all the organs in your Sumac. Now you can gently place your left hand on your hearts and your right hand on your belly, wherever it feels called to go is trusting where your hands naturally fall, and not just feeling this connection of your palms to your body, so feeling how your heart is beating into your hand, and also how your hand is beating back into your heart, feeling maybe the rise of your belly as you breathe in into your hand and the fall as you breathe out, or maybe even feeling a heartbeat in your stomach that’s pulsing into your hand in your right hand pulsing back into your stomach.

Now, just feeling the love from your heart, this enter into your hand naturally travel up the left arm, come into the left shoulder, across the collar bones, down the right arm, through the right wrist, into the right hand and into the belly, and just feeling the circuit that you’ve just created connecting your heart to your belly in two ways now, direct line through the inside of your body and your torso, and now from the outside, from your hands, through the hearts in your hands, and just allow your stomach to receive this healing from your own heart. Notice if there’s any resistance to it, I know that that is okay to trust that you will always receive what you are meant to receive when you are meant to receive it, just stepping out of your own way as you feel ready to receive and to heal… Whenever you feel ready to do so, you can slowly let your palms find each other now, feel all of that energy to settle within your stomach, let it be absorbed into the organs, into the cells of your body, and feeling this love just feeding into each palm. Now, as you take a deep and conscious breath and once again feeling yourself fill up, letting yourself fill up, and as you exhale, slowly letting the head bow once again, just bowing to the source you’ve come from, bowing to the inspiration and guidance around you, bowing to everyone in this space, who’s completed this alongside you, most importantly, bowing to yourself for listening for choosing to show up and just for being here.

May this practice continue to heal you through the rest of your days and nights, may you bring the same love and understanding into everything that you do into everyone that you see… No.

Karyn: Mmm… Thank you, Ruthie. Thank you.

Ruthie: Thank you, Karyn.

Karyn: That was something really special. Right. Mushy is definitely an inspiration to us all, if you wanna practice yoga with rule or you want to use her as a guide through your meditations, you can find her on YouTube and Insight Timer, she also is on Facebook and Instagram. I will go ahead and link to rothes website and YouTube channel in the show notes, definitely go check her out and thanks for joining us on the podcast today, and stay tuned for more her IBD story episodes as we continue to shed light on IBD women warriors in our circle, until we meet again. I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD healing journey chat soon. Thank you so much for joining me today and for listening to today’s episode, when it comes to IBD, I know there’s a lot of resources out there, and I’m truly honored that you chose the take podcast to get your IBD information today. If you found this information helpful, please give us a rating and review, it helps other moms find the podcast and see what we’re doing over here to help It moms everywhere.

[1:13:17] Karyn: And if you feel called to do it, share this podcast with an IBD mom who you know could really use an uplifting message today, ’cause that’s what we’re all about over here at the St podcast. One last thing, if you’re still with me, and if you are, you’re definitely my kind of gal, we have to get to know each other better, ’cause if you’re tired of living on the hamster wheel of IBD with all the ups and downs between players and remission, if you’re struggling to get control of your abdominal pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea and other troubling IBD symptoms, go to my… The website, it’s Karyn Haley dot com, and my mom had to be just a little bit different, but my name with the Y, so it’s K-A-R-Y H-A-L-E-Y dot com, and schedule your very own free 30-minute IBD Root Cause troubleshooting session with me, where we discuss the challenges you’ve been having, we set goals to help you move forward, and we talk about how we can work together to help you get your life back, hit of power packed 30 minutes. You don’t have to live in IBD status quo.

There’s so much that can be done to transform your life so you can thrive in motherhood and thrive with IBD, I’ve seen my clients walk this path and it gives me so much joy to take that journey with them. My entire coaching practice is run online, so you never have to leave your house and you never have to get out of your amino yoga pants for us to work together, you know I’m wearing them to… If you’re ready to take your first amazing step towards healing, I’m ready to chat with you, schedule your free 30-minute IBD, cause trouble shooting today at Carondelet Com. Click on the work with me tab and I’ll see you soon. It’s important to note that the information in this podcast and in this episode is for general information purposes only and not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The statements made in the CV podcast for moms with it, either by me or my guest is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Before implementing any new treatment protocols, do yourself a favor and consult your physician first, thank you so much for listening for being here, for saving the space for us to spend some time together until we chat again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD journey.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
This podcast, video, and blog post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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