Archive Monthly Archives: July 2021

No More Worry You’re Doing it Wrong: Gluten Freedom in 5 Simple Steps

You’ve made the decision to go gluten free. And I have to commend you because it’s a great decision. If you’re going to start quieting your Crohn’s or colitis symptoms with food, glorious food, then eliminating gluten really is your perfect starting place.

But now that you’ve made the decision to eat gluten free, how do you get started? That’s what this episode of The Cheeky Podcast for Moms with IBD is all about.

If gluten free is your destination, I’ve got you covered.

We’re talking about:

  • Three, must know, facts about how the FDA treats gluten in the United States
  • Your #1 resource for finding hidden gluten
  • The ideal length of time to give your new gluten free life before deciding if it’s working
  • What are your next steps if eating gluten free doesn’t work

And so much more!

After this episode, you’ll have everything you need to get started on your gluten free journey with the confidence and perseverance you need to make it work for you.

Episode at a Glance:

  • [08:55] Beware of these whole foods that you might not think contain gluten
  • [11:14] Three, must know, facts about how the FDA treats gluten in the United States
  • [13:10] Why looking for the word “gluten” on food products doesn’t help
  • [14:56] How ignoring the Nutrition Facts Panel is the key to gluten free food shopping
  • [17:30] Your #1 resource for finding hidden gluten
  • [19:55] Where all the naturally gluten free foods hang out in the grocery store
  • [25:16] How meal planning can save you time and money as you start your new gluten free life
  • [28:47] Picking your gluten free date is the best way to ensure you get started
  • [30:20] The ideal length of time to give your new gluten free life before deciding if it’s working
  • [31:58] What are your next steps if eating gluten free doesn’t work
  • [27:47] The best way to take your gut healing journey to the next level

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Mentioned in This Episode

SIGN UP FOR THE FREE CROHN’S AND COLITIS MEAL PLANNING MADE EASY WORKSHOP HERE

Workshop going on LIVE July 22, 2021

DM me on Facebook for Your Hidden Gluten Ingredients List

The Gut Love Community

Episode 34: Who Else is Confused About Gluten?

Episode Transcript:

You’ve made the decision to go gluten free. And I have to commend you because it’s a great decision. If you’re going to start quieting your Crohn’s or colitis symptoms with food, glorious food, then eliminating gluten really is your perfect starting place.

But now that you’ve made the decision to eat gluten free, how do you get started? That’s what this episode is all about.

If gluten free is your destination, I’ve got you covered.

Gluten freedom in 5 simple steps, here we go!

[Music]

INTRO: You are listening to The Cheeky Podcast for Moms with IBD, a safe space for moms with Crohn’s and colitis, connect, explore powerful tools for healing and transform our lives to thrive in motherhood and in life. I’m your host, Karyn Haley, IBD health coach, integrative wellness enthusiast, and mom to three outstanding kids. After having Crohn’s disease for 30 years and working as a health advocate exclusively with IBD clients for the last 10 years, I know it’s time to bring the types of candid conversations I have with my clients out into the open. It’s our time to go on an IBD healing journey and do it like only a mom can. Let’s do this.

[music]

[01:26] Welcome dear one, we meet again. I’m so happy that we’re sharing this time together. Crohn’s and colitis can be a monster, and here we are lifting each other up, talking about this invisible disease no one seems to really gets but us. I don’t know about you, but in my life, it’s rare that I find someone who gets what my life is like as a mom with IBD. I’m so grateful that we have this opportunity to connect today. Let’s use our time together to take big, bold IBD action steps!

Sound good?

So, something I know, when you make a decision as big as trying a gluten free diet, I know that you’ve given this a lot of thought. You’re sick and tired of being on the medication merry-go-round with little to no results. You’re IBD isn’t getting better. Toxic medication after toxic medication is offered to you as a cover up for your symptoms. All of the diarrhea, the abdominal pain, the bloating and gas after you eat, the soul sucking fatigue, and the treatments that give you with nasty side effects, leave you feeling that you’re never going to be the mom you know you can be and deserve to be.

And I know something about the way you’re feeling because I felt exactly that way back in 2007 when I started planning my gluten free journey. Man was it tough back then. No one knew what gluten meant, I didn’t know what gluten meant. I had never heard of it before. It was rough navigating this new world.

In this episode, our focus is on how to get started when you already know what gluten is and why it’s a good idea to remove it from your diet. But if you’re still thinking about the what and why of gluten, I highly recommend you go back to episode 34: Who Else is Confused About Gluten? That’s the episode where I start at the beginning and lay out exactly what gluten is and why you want to avoid it. You can think of that episode as part I and this episode as part II on your way to gluten freedom. Both episodes do stand alone, but together they are golden.

Before we move into my 5 step plan, the “how” on your road to gluten freedom, let me give the gluten free 10 cent tor. You’ll want to go back and take a full listen to episode 34, but this is at least the gist.

THE WART-NOSED WITCH YOU WANT TO STAY AWAY FROM.

The biggest thing I want you to know about gluten before we get to your 5 steps is that gluten and IBD just don’t mix. I’m not going to sugar coat it. You know I’m a straight shooter so I’m telling you straight, no cap. Out of the hundreds of IBDer’s I’ve had the pleasure to meet and chat with in the gut love community, I’ve rarely met someone who’s rockin’ their IBD remission on gluten.

And that might sound like really bad news to you, but I prefer to actually look at is as a positive. If you remain gluten free—and it’s so much easier today than ever before—look at the life you can have! Less gut pain, less trips to the bathroom, less bloating, less gas, less painful joints and skin rashes, etc, etc… Powerful stuff.

Remember that gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye, barley, and other grains. Like I said, gluten and IBD don’t mix. Think of gluten as the wart-nosed witch. And it’s the food grade equivalent of white school gluten—all sticky, gooey, gelatinous, and generic. And the gluten of just 50 years ago, isn’t the gluten you’re ingesting today due to farming practices to yield more and grow faster crops. Wheat and other glutenous grains are not your friend.

[06:17] Gluten can create so much damage to our intestine that we flare up, and worse, it can then move into our bloodstream and inflame our joints, our skin, and even our brain. Gluten has been linked to brain fog, lack of focus, anxiety, depression, ADHD, headaches, even neurological challenges like dementia and Alzheimer’s.

OK, that’s really the reader’s digest version of your gluten free why not, but enough to catch you up so we can move on to the how. After listening to this episode, head over to 34 for the complete picture. You’ll be glad you did.

YOU’RE COMPLETE GLUTEN FREE PLUGIN PLAY SYSTEM.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for a system, a framework, a step-by-step guide, a tutorial. Just give me the steps so I can “have at it.”. Gluten freedom in 5 simple steps is a complete plug-in play system, so follow it to a T, and you’ll be moving on to gluten freedom in no time.

Step #1: Know what you’re looking for.

[07:34] Knowing what gluten is, doesn’t always hep you know how to look for it. And knowing what to look for is all about reading the food label. We’re going to get there, I’m going to get you all set up for what to look for on the food label, but I also want you to be able to find gluten if the food doesn’t have a food label so let’s start there. If there’s no label, the best thing to remember is that food in its whole and natural state doesn’t contain gluten.

We’re talking plain fruit, plain vegetables, plain protein (beef, chicken, turkey, pork, fish, and seafood). Eggs are gluten free, plain butter is gluten free, plain oils (without any seasonings) are gluten free. Plain milk and other dairy products are gluten free, plain unseasoned nuts and seeds are gluten free. And there are some grains that don’t contain gluten either like rice and quinoa. See a pattern here? Plain, unmarinated, unseasoned, unflavored whole foods are gluten free.

BEWARE OF THESE HIDDEN SOURCES OF GLUTEN.

In some cases though, even with whole foods, I want to you be wary. Like yogurt, which is a dairy product, is gluten free, but topped with granola, not gluten free. Some yogurt flavorings contain gluten. Plain meat is gluten free, but pre-marinated or pre-seasoned meat may not necessarily be gluten free. Often times, it isn’t. A block of plain cheddar cheese, gluten free, but store bought shredded cheese in a package is often not gluten free because they add flour as an anti-caking agent to keep the shreds from sticking together. Veggies without dip or salad dressing is gluten free, but add the dip, and now you’re likely getting glutened.

See how adding in one ingredient to your plain, whole food can change everything. That doesn’t mean you have to eat everything plain. Hell to the no! It just means you either need to read the label and look for the words gluten free, or add your own seasonings at home. There’s amazing flavor you can add with your own seasonings. Eating GF can be amazingly flavorful and delish. In fact, I’m willing to bet a whole new world of flavor is just around the corner for you. Just you wait and see.

In step #1, we found out what to look for. In step 2, we go looking for it.

FORGET TH BEAR HUNT, WE’RE GOING ON A GLUTEN HUNT.

We look for it by knowing how to read food labels. We become a gluten free super sleuth. You already know how to look for gluten when there isn’t a label, now we tackle looking for gluten when there’s a label attached, and that label on our packaged, box, or canned food, unfortunately, that label is meant to confuse us.

When it comes to food labels and gluten, there’s three things that are most important for you to know to break through the confusion about what contains gluten and what doesn’t.

#1: In the United States, gluten-free food labeling is completely voluntary. This is not the case in every country, so if you don’t live in the U.S. you’ll want to check what your countries regulations are for transparency with gluten containing foods. But in the U.S., there is no FDA (food and drug administration) mandate that requires a product to say it’s gluten free. So just because a product doesn’t say gluten-free doesn’t mean that it isn’t. For example, you don’t typically see the words gluten free on a carton of eggs, but they are naturally gluten free. But, #2, if the product does say gluten-free you can be sure that it contains less than “20 ppm of gluten” and trust me when I tell you that’s pretty low. For most people who are gluten-free including Celiac’s, that is usually low enough.  #3: The last thing I want you to know about reading food labels is that the FDA does not require a front label of a product to say that it contains gluten.

If this doesn’t clear things up for you yet for guaranteed gluten free shopping, don’t worry, we’ll get there. Understanding gluten and food labeling is a tricky task. That’s why knowing how to read a food label is about the most important thing for us to talk about. You just can’t go 100% gluten free unless you understand food labeling.

WHY THERE’S NO POINT IN LOOKING FOR THE WORD “GLUTEN.”

So right about now, you might be thinking, can I just look for the word gluten. Well, no, because remember, food manufactures aren’t required to tell us that their product contains gluten. In fact, they pretty much never do. The ingredients, though, never lie. That’s why it’s up to us to be gluten free super sleuths to know if an ingredient has gluten in it. For example, ingredients like Brewer’s yeast, semolina, spelt, and dextrimaltose all contain gluten. When you know which words = gluten, you’re living the life of gluten freedom.

Let’s talk about how we do this.

[14:57] It all starts with food labels. We need to understand that a food label has three parts. And when I’m talking about “food labels” I’m talking about the nutrition facts panel. That’s the food label I’m talking about. It might be on the side of the product, it might be on the back of the packaging… it’s there somewhere because the nutrition facts is required by the FDA (the food and drug administration) so just move the box or package or can around until you find the nutrition facts.

There three distinct parts of a food label and they include the nutrition facts panel, the ingredient statement, and the Allergan statement. Most of us are taught to read the nutrition facts panel where you see how much fat or carbohydrate, salt or sugar a product contains, but when it comes to gluten, I’m going to tell you to ignore that part. The two parts we are most interested in are the ingredient statement and the Allergan statement.

The first place you’ll always go to look for gluten is the Allergan statement. It is at the bottom of the nutrition facts panel. One of the allergens that the FDA requires be listed there is wheat. If you see the word wheat in the allergens statement you know that this product contains gluten. And you’re going to step away from the package.

YOUR #1 HIDDEN GLUTEN RESOURCE.

Now I wish that this was a full proof way to avoid all gluten but unfortunately, as we’ve learned, gluten comes in many forms. It’s not just found in wheat. So after you look at the allergens statement, it’s time to look at the ingredient list. Check for obvious sources of gluten like wheat and barley and rye, but also look for that hidden gluten that I just mentioned. Those words that don’t say gluten, but they mean that there’s a gluten in the product. Now there are way too many hidden gluten words for me to tell you all of them on this episode, but I do have a complete list. If you want a copy of my Hidden Gluten “Never Eat” Unsafe Ingredient List, feel free to DM me on Facebook and I will send a copy your way. On Facebook I am @TheIBDHealthCoach.

I love chatting with you over there on my new Facebook page so hit me up and I will be happy to send it your way. @TheIBDHealthCoach.

Now that you know how to read the food label to check for the obvious and the not so obvious gluten, it’s kick step 2 (looking for gluten) into high gear. It’s time to put your newfound knowledge into practice. Let’s start with your pantry. Look at all of your boxed, packaged, and canned foods. Check out their labels and see what contains gluten. You’re going to be really surprised at all of the pantry foods that contain gluten. Ones you never even suspected.

Soy sauce? Yep, contains gluten. Most salad dressings? Yep, contains gluten. Teriyaki sauce? Yep, contains gluten. Now that’s not to say that we can’t find gluten-free version of these foods. There is gluten free soy sauce, it’s called tamari. There’s lots of gluten-free salad dressings out there, you just have to know where to find them. When we start to look for gluten free alternatives, we see that they are everywhere. We just have to know where to look.

Once you accomplish a pantry clean out, it’s time to go to the grocery store. Step #2 is all about going out and looking for it, gluten free food that is, so go for it, take a trip to the grocery store and start checking out different foods. You don’t have to buy anything during this trip, this is more of a reconnaissance to see if you can find foods that don’t contain gluten. Remember, your best bet is going to be looking for foods that are naturally gluten-free. And those are the foods that I mentioned earlier. The vegetables, meats, fruits, nuts, seeds, eggs, and yogurt. Food that’s in his whole and natural, plain state is usually gluten-free.

THE POWER OF THE PERIMETER.

[19:55] This is the kind of food that doesn’t come in a can, a package, or a box. This is the kind of food you find on the perimeter of the grocery store. Try to stay here as much as possible and there will be no second-guessing whether a food has gluten in it or not.

When it comes to the grocery store isles, the boxes, the cans, the packaging, always look at your food label. You now know how to read it. So, look to see if it contains gluten. If it does, you know it’s time to step away from the package and move on to something else.

I want you to come back from your reconnaissance mission with a sense of pride because you did it mama. You took an amazing step, the knowledge building step. What’s that they say about knowledge and insight? It’s half the battle.

Step 2 to gluten freedom, done.

In step #1 we found out what we were looking for, and step #2 we went looking for it, now in step #3 it’s time to make a plan for gluten freedom.

MAKE A PLAN.

Will you go all in or maybe dip a tow in and go gluten-free meal by meal? Maybe this week you’ll try breakfast, and next week you’ll add lunch and so on. There’s no perfect way to do this and going all in doesn’t necessarily mean you’re more committed than the folks who take the dip a toe in approach. Remember when it comes to healing our IBD, we have to match our symptoms and our lifestyle. Keep your lifestyle in mind when you’re deciding what you want to commit to and how long you want to take to commit.

The planning step will also involve your family. Is it just you going gluten-free or is the whole family going for it as well? Going gluten free is healthy for everyone so there’s no reason why everyone in the family can’t go gluten-free with you. It’s really a personal choice and of course it involves that lifestyle component again. Do you have time to cook separate meals for different family members? Will you feel more supported if family members are doing the gluten-free life with you?

I know what you’re going through here because I remember not that long ago trying to make this decision for my family as well. Most of the food we have in our house is gluten-free, but occasionally some pasta or bread with gluten in it will make its way into our house. I don’t intentionally make things that have gluten in it, but I also don’t want to make everyone feel resentful of my diet. I try to walk a fine line and stick with things that are naturally gluten-free. That way no one feels like they’re missing out.

I remember my client Penny telling me that when she decided to go gluten-free, they had a big family meeting to talk about it. Penny had teenagers and she really wanted to get their opinion before she brought all gluten-free food home. To her surprise, Penny’s teenagers said they really wanted to support her. Plus, they were really into sports and being physically fit so they thought that it might be a good idea for them to try as well. That’s what worked for Penny’s family. Everyone’s family is different but it’s good to take some time in the planning phase to figure out what works best for your family situation.

MEAL PLANNING IS KEY FOR GLUTEN FREE SUCCESS.

Once you decide whether you’re going to go all in on day one or take the escalator approach down to the finish line, and you decide whether your family will eat gluten-free with you or if it’ll just be you riding the gluten-free train, it’s time for some meal planning. It’s time to figure out what you’ll be eating and when for at least the first week I’d say. Deciding on the meals you’ll eat, the ingredients you’ll need for the meals you want to make, making a list for the grocery store, heading to the grocery store to buy what you need (you already did the reconnaissance so this should be fairly easy), and then coming home and meal prepping those meals because that’s what’s going to save you time and money in this whole gut healing adventure that you’re a part of now.

[25:16] Don’t let the whole meal planning part of your new eating plan overwhelm you. This is the place I see many moms stop, but it can be done. If you’re completely new to meal planning on an IBD eating plan and if you want to get a jump start on the meal planning part of eating gluten free (the deciding what to eat, figuring out the ingredients, meal prepping it all)… if you want some help figuring this out just a little bit faster (and you’re listening to this episode in real time), I want you to know that I have a brand-new live training all about Crohn’s and colitis meal planning made easy.

And it’s all going down tonight. July 22, 2021, at 5 PM EST. If you want to join me live for my meal planning workshop, all you have to do is go to karynhaley.com/mealplanning. That’s karynhaley.com/mealplanning. A replay will be available so if you aren’t able to join us live, still sign up and I will send a replay your way. I hope you’ll join me live though because there’s just a wonderful energy that happens in the live exchange and you’ll also be able to get your questions answered in real time. And one last reason to join live is that today is my birthday, so I am giving away some extra special bonuses for everyone who shows up live. The Crohn’s and Colitis Meal Planning workshop happening tonight. Hope to see you there.

OK, so you gluten-free goddess, you know what you’re looking for when it comes to gluten and you have gone to look for it. You’ve also made an amazing plan that includes how you go about it, will the family join you, and you’ve done all the meal planning and meal prep and you’re ready to start eating gluten free. What’s next?

TIME TO TAKE THE GLUTEN FREE PLUNGE.

Step #4 is next. And Step #4 on your gluten-freedom plan is to go for it, dive in. Whatever diving means for you. So many people that I see start a gut healing diet like gluten-free with gusto, only to quit a few days later when they don’t see results. We know that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your gut health. Going gluten free isn’t the kind of thing where you wake up after a week and say oh my goodness I am healed! So, when you dive in, dive in for the long-haul.

When you follow the steps that I’ve laid out for you today, you’ll be prepared to start your gluten-free life. And preparation is really the name of the game when it comes to sticking with a gut healing diet. Those who go in knowing exactly what gluten is and where to find it, those who prepare their weekly menu ahead of time, and meal prep ahead of time are much more likely to be successful in the long run.

When will you dive into gluten freedom? Go head, think about it right now while we’re chatting. Tomorrow? In one week? In one month? When will the time be right for you? And don’t just say a season or a month, I want you to pick the day out. August 1 has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? Or maybe you feel like the kids need to be back in school before you can commit, that’s OK. How about September 1st?

Are the wheels turning? Did you pick a day? Awesome, now put that date on your calendar. All you need to do to make that your reality is go through steps 1, 2 and 3 before that date. You can do it, remember get in touch if you want some help. That’s what I’m here for.

OK, last step, step #5.

You’re rocking that gluten-free life. You’re all in. You’re not cheating, you’re giving it your all, the kinks have been worked out and you are feeling really confident about planning, cooking, and eating gluten-free.

It’s time to assess.

[30:20] Ideally, you’ll give gluten freedom a minimum of three months before you take a look at how it’s going. Now, I wouldn’t expect miracles in three months, but hopefully you will see some improvement in how you feel. Researchers tell us that gluten can stay in the body for up to six months, but the three-month mark is a great place to just step back and ask yourself, how’s it going?

Do I have any less diarrhea?

Do I have less bloating and gas after mealtime?

Do I have more energy, less headaches or brain fog?

Did the skin rashes clear up?

The answers to these questions or questions like these will help you determine if gluten-free is worth continuing to help keep your gut symptoms and you’re beyond the gut symptoms in check.

WHAT IF YOU SAY, “YES!”

You might say yes, I feel fantastic. I feel the best I’ve ever felt in my life! If that’s the case, you’re going to keep rocking your gluten-free life. You’re going to feel really grateful that you stumbled onto something that can really protect your health and ensure your gut loving future.

Or, although it’s highly unlikely, you might say nope, this didn’t really help me at all. I gave it a fair shot, I didn’t cheat, not even once, but it just didn’t help me. Know that this is not the end of the line for you. There’s so many healing mechanisms when it comes to Crohn’s and colitis. Keep searching and keep trying new things within the food, lifestyle, mindset realm because I know that there is a path out there for you.

And if you’re like many of my clients, you’ll say to yourself wow, this gluten-free life is helping me. I’m not exactly where I want to be, but I do see some benefit. I wonder what else I could do to help me feel even better. What can I combine with living gluten-free to help me feel even better?

IS IT TIME TO MAKE TWEAKS TO YOUR WHEEL OF WELLNESS?

I’m not gonna lie to you mama, Crohn’s and colitis are both a complicated beast. There isn’t usually one healing fix. Using a gluten-free diet can be life-changing, but it usually is one spoke in your wheel of wellness. I’ve talked about your wheel of wellness before on this podcast, but we all have this invisible wheel rolling along beside us as we move about our life. This wheel has many spokes on it, just like a bike wheel. One of those spokes might be eating gluten free, another might be some type of daily movement, another might be you’re a doctor, another for meditation or another spiritual practice, and another might be a health coach like me. Healing takes a village and your wheel of wellness gives you a village of health.

Step five in your gluten freedom plan gives you the power to assess where you’re at with your wheel of wellness, to add spokes when you need them and change out the spokes that are no longer serving you.

Step #5, assessing where you’re at is a step you’ll come back to over and over on your IBD journey. I’ve had Crohn’s for 34 years and I’m constantly coming back to step 5, making tweaks and moving forward again.

I wish I could tell you that going gluten free is the cure for Crohn’s and Colitis. The truth is, it’s not a cure, but it definitely can be a game changer. Let it be a game changer for you when you follow these 5 steps.

[34:38] Let’s go over them one last time.

Step #1 Know what you’re looking for (know what gluten is and where it hides).

Step #2 Go looking for it (in your pantry and in the grocery store) and that all starts with knowing how to read your food label.

Step #3 Make a plan (a plan that includes not just your symptoms but your lifestyle, one that takes your family into account, and one that includes meal planning)

Step #4 Dive in with gusto and give it your all, no cheats

Step #5 Asses (not after 3 days, not after 1 week, but after a minimum of 3 months of consistently being gluten free- not cheats). Make tweaks to your wheel of wellness and keep moving forward to keep IBD in its place.

Remember my dear friend, if you want to join me live tonight to learn more about how you can take your gluten free diet to the next level and get results faster with meal planning, there’s still time to register for my Crohn’s and Colitis Meal Planning Made Easy Workshop. It all starts at 5pm EST. The link to register is in the show notes or you can go to karynhaley.com/mealplanning.

Hope to see you there.

Until we meet again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD healing journey.

Chat soon!

Thank you so much for joining me today and for listening to today’s episode. When it comes to IBD, I know there’s a lot of resources out there, and I’m truly honored that you chose the Cheeky Podcast to get your IBD information today. If you found this information helpful, please give us a rating and review. It helps other moms find the podcast and see what we’re doing over here to help IBD moms everywhere. And if you feel called feel a call to do it, share this podcast with an IBD mom who you know could really use an uplifting message today, ’cause that’s what we’re all about over here at the Cheeky Podcast.

[36:52] One last thing, if you’re still with me, and if you are, you’re definitely my kind of gal. We have to get to know each other better. If you’re tired of living on the hamster wheel of IBD with all the ups and downs between flares and remission, if you’re struggling to get control of your abdominal pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea and other troubling IBD symptoms, go to my website. It’s karynhaley.com, and my mom had to be just a little bit different, she spelled my name with the Y. So it’s K-A-R-Y-N H-A-L-E-Y.com and schedule your very own free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble-shooting session with me where we discuss the challenges you’ve been having, we set goals to help you move forward, and we talk about how we can work together to help you get your life back. It’s a power packed 30 minutes. You don’t have to live in IBD status quo. There’s so much that can be done to transform your life so you can thrive in motherhood and thrive with IBD. I’ve seen my clients walk this path and it gives me so much joy to take that journey with them.

My entire coaching practice is run online, so you never have to leave your house and you never have to get out of your jammy or yoga pants for us to work together. You know I’m wearing them to. If you’re ready to take your first amazing step towards healing, I’m ready to chat with you. Schedule your free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble shooting sesh today at karynhaley.com. Click on the work with me tab and I’ll see you soon. It’s important to note that the information in this podcast and in this episode is for general information purposes only and not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The statements made in the Cheeky Podcast for moms with IBD, either by me or my guests, is not intended to diagnose, treat, to cure, or prevent any disease. Before implementing any new treatment protocols, do yourself a favor and consult your physician first.

Thank you so much for listening, for being here, for saving this space for us to spend some time together. Until we chat again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD journey.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
This podcast, video, and blog post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

I Cheated on My Gut Healing Diet. Now What?

Gluten free, SCD, Paleo, Dairy free, GAPs… many of us follow some sort of restricted diet to help quiet our Crohn’s and colitis symptoms.

In many cases, diets like these are game changing. They help us digest and absorb the nutrients in our food better, so we then have more energy, less gas, pain, and bloating, less blood on the toilet paper or in the toilet bowl. And diets like these can keep us from using the bathroom 3, 4, 10, 20 times a day.

Results like this are massive when we have IBD. We’d do anything to stay in that place. That’s why when these diets work, we tend to stay on them.

Unless we cheat.

And it’s that cheating part (intentional or unintentional) that we’re going to cover today.

We’re talking about:

  • A cautionary tale of what can happen on your IBD eating plan after the pandemic
  • When well-meaning friends send you down a dark, cheating path
  • The biggest factor in deciding what to do after you cheat on your gut healing diet
  • The one tool you’ll definitely need if you decide you want to intentionally cheat on your IBD diet

And so much more!

After this episode, you’ll know the best methods to try for every type of Eating for IBD cheating you may encounter.

Episode at a Glance:

  • [02:05] All the deets on my Crohn’s and Colitis Meal Planning Made Easy Workshop
  • [05:45] A cautionary tale of what can happen on your IBD eating plan after the pandemic
  • [09:55] When well-meaning friends send you down a dark, cheating path
  • [11:45] The intentional cheater finds out what foods work and what doesn’t work for her
  • [12:45] The biggest factor in deciding what to do after you cheat on your gut healing diet
  • [14:17] What to do when picking up where you left off is not an option
  • [18:18] SCD embarrassment, shame and guilt
  • [20:45] A dairy cheat vs a gluten cheat (which is worse?
  • [22:42] The one tool you’ll definitely need if you decide you want to intentionally cheat on your IBD diet
  • [25:18] What to do when you feel stressed, anxious, or depressed about cheating
  • [27:47] The best way to take your IBD healing journey to the next level

Rate, Review and Subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

Mentioned in This Episode

SIGN UP FOR THE FREE CROHN’S AND COLITIS MEAL PLANNING MADE EASY WORKSHOP HERE

Workshop going on LIVE July 22, 2021

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Episode Transcript:

Gluten free, SCD, Paleo, Dairy free, GAPs… many of us follow some sort of restricted diet to help quiet our Crohn’s and colitis symptoms. In many cases, diets like these are game changing. They help us digest and absorb the nutrients in our food better, so we then have more energy, less gas, pain, and bloating, less blood on the toilet paper or in the toilet bowl. And diets like these can keep us from using the bathroom 3, 4, 10, 20 times a day. Results like this are massive when we have IBD. We’d do anything to stay in that place. That’s why when these diets work, we tend to stay on them.

Unless we cheat.

And it’s that cheating part (intentional or unintentional) that we’re going to cover today. What do you do after the cheat?

Here we go!

[01:55] Hey there mama! I’m so happy we’re here together today. We’re diving into a juicy topic and I know you’re going to love it and benefit from it.

Before we get started, I have some hot off the press news to share. I want to tell you that I’ve got a brand new free training that I created just for you. It’s called the Crohn’s & Colitis Meal Planning Made Easy Workshop and it’s going to change the way you eat for your IBD. This workshop is all about how you can save time, money, and stay on track while you successfully use food to heal your gut.

Can I get an amen?

As moms with IBD, we all need that. We need sanity surrounding mealtime. This is a LIVE workshop. I love doing it live so I can be going through it right there with you and you can get your questions answered in real time. And this workshop is extra special for me because it’s all going down on my birthday, Thursday, July 22nd (2021) @ 5pm EST. If you’re interested in joining me to lessen your eating for IBD load, and you want tips that can reduce your stress and the time spent in the kitchen, you’re going to want to join me. The link to register is in the show notes or you can go to karynhaley.com/mealplanning to sign up.  Because Crohn’s & Colitis Meal planning Made Easy is taking place on my birthday, I’ve giving away some special surprises and bonuses to everyone who shows up live. I can’t wait. It’s all happening @5pm EST on July 22nd. Register in the show notes or go to karynhaley.com/mealplanning.

OK, let’s talk about cheating… (dun, dun, dun, dun)

CHEATING HAPPENS.

Let’s face it, cheating happens. It might happen when we go to a family member’s house for dinner or when we travel or eat out at a restaurant. It might even happen in your own home. Sometimes we get glutened or grained when we’re out. In many cases, we don’t plan it, we don’t bring it on ourselves. It’s an accident, but it happens. I’d like to always give you the benefit of the doubt and say it always happens by accident, but as we know, sometimes cheating on our gut healing diet is intentional. We know what we’re doing. We know there might be consequences, but in that moment, the temptation is just too great.

We do it, consequences be damned!

I can tell you right now that you can stop beating yourself up because it doesn’t matter whether it’s intentional or unintentional, cheating happens. Which might make you wonder, what do I do when I cheat? Do I need to take a step back to an earlier step on my diet? And if so, how far back? In cases of the SCD and GAPS, do I need to go back to the introductory diet? What if I feel awful after I cheat or if it sets off a flare up? Or, a scenario we don’t talk about that often– what if I cheat and I feel fine? Do I still need to take a step back?

So many good questions and we’re going to answer all of them today.

A CAUTIONARY TALE OF AN SCDer AFTER PANDEMIC LIFE.

[05:45] I have a client with Crohn’s named April. She started the SCD (the specific carbohydrate diet), during the pandemic quarantine. She wasn’t going out anywhere, she had the time to cook all her food at home… and April saw results. She was moving along swimmingly for about four months, until her part of the world started to open up. Now, April is back to work, she accepted invitations to go to friend’s houses, she enjoyed gatherings with her family at their homes and it was getting really challenging for April to stay on the diet. Before, she was in her own gut healing bubble, but now she had to figure out how to bring SCD out into the world. And for April, this didn’t go so well.

At a family gathering, April’s siblings, mom, grandmother, and other relatives struggled to understand her new diet and she didn’t really know how to explain what she was going through to them. She was the only one in the family with Crohn’s. No one had ever eaten any special diet.

April felt singled out and alone at a gathering of healthy people. She decided to try just a little bit of her grandmother’s matzo ball soup that contained gluten and grains because she thought a few bites wouldn’t hurt. And that turned into potato latkes and the delicious bread her aunt always makes for family gatherings. For a little while, April was thinking she was going to get away with it. Afterall, it was just a small cheat. But 30 minutes later the cramping, bloating and diarrhea hit April like a ton of bricks. April spent the rest of the gathering upstairs in the bathroom feeling guilty, ashamed, and alone.

If you’re on a special diet to help your Crohn’s or colitis, you’ve experienced a situation similar to April’s. We all have. Especially in those early days of a diet when we’re still trying to figure it out for ourselves. It’s a really tricky time and one single misstep can take you down fast.

WHEN A WELL-MEANING FRIEND DOES YOU WRONG.

When I was new to SCD, I remember I had a good friend who wanted to make a meal for me. She said, “Send me the recipes and I’ll make a whole meal for us to share together. I know you’re going through a lot and I want to be there for you.” I thought about this for a long time. It was such a kind invitation from my friend. But I knew that it could be risky. Even with SCD recipes, it could be a disaster. But I wanted to show my friend how grateful I was for her support, so I said yes. I didn’t want to offend her or make her feel like I didn’t trust her. I gave my friend the recipes and hoped for the best.

My friend tried so hard. She made those recipes just as I had instructed. I ate every last bite with delight and so much gratitude for this amazingly kind gesture. And I got through the first few hours no problem. I felt really great after eating her food. I didn’t have any inkling of trouble until I got home when my belly started rumbling and gurgling. I could feel everything that I had just eaten rounding its way through my colon. It all had to come out, and it definitely did. For three days, it came out.

[09:55] It turned out that two of the recipes included bone broth. My friend had bought the bone broth at the store thinking bone broth was bone broth. But unfortunately, the one she used had some additives and artificial ingredients. And I was really sensitive to those ingredients.

After a few days of nonstop trips to the bathroom, my belly flip-flops subsided and I started to feel better. It was a rough few days, but before this all happened, my belly was in good shape. I was in remission. So, I was able to get back on track rather quickly.

WOULD ANYONE INTENTIONALLY CHEAT?

What did I do to get back on track? I’ll tell you in just a minute, but first I want to share one last story with you. This is the story of my client Casey. I didn’t meet her until she was on the Paleo diet for two years. Casey was doing really well. She had maintained remission for over a year and she felt really great. Casey wanted to enlist my help so she could intentionally cheat. She wanted to see if she could start eating foods that weren’t on her eating plan. Casey and I worked for a few months to figure out what her body was ready for and what it just wasn’t. Quinoa, dairy based kefir, and basmati rice… definitely a go. Sourdough bread and oatmeal… definitely not a good option for Casey.

Yep, she was intentionally cheating to see what would happen. She was in a healthy place with her ulcerative colitis, and she wanted to see what would happen. She wanted to expand her diet, she wanted more variety and fun in the food she was eating. There were a lot of things Casey was able to add in because enough intestinal healing had taken place over a period of time. She was rocking her Paleo life and it was time to cheat and see what happened.

Two of the stories I shared with you have to do with unintentional cheating and one of them is an intentional cheating story. But it really doesn’t matter whether the cheating is intentional or unintentional. And for the most part, it doesn’t even matter how long you’ve been on your eating plan. When it comes to cheating on a gut healing diet, what matters is the state of your illness, how you feel, and how long you’ve felt that way. That’s what will determine ultimately how the cheating will affect your body.

APRIL’S STORY GOES FROM BAD TO WORSE.

Let’s go back to April, remember she’s my client with Crohn’s who got caught up in the moment at a family gathering. I told you that April had a really challenging time after she ate food that wasn’t on her eating plan. But what I didn’t share with you yet is that the incident I told you about set off a cascade of behavior for April. She really wanted to commit to her eating plan, but she just kept being put in situations where she got uncomfortable not eating the food that was offered. She went out to a restaurant, she went over to her friend’s house for dinner, she traveled and didn’t bring her SCD legal food with her.

That one event set in motion a series of negative events for April. Even though she was feeling terrible at the time, definitely in flare mode, diarrhea, bloating, gas, lots of abdominal pain, arthritis, blood in the toilet, lots of brain fog and trouble concentrating… she just couldn’t figure out how to get back on track. April lost her way.

This is about as big as a cheat gets. April’s cheat that went on for a few months. April knew that she was not eating in accordance with her gut healing diet and it was the reason she was feeling so awful, but she just couldn’t get back on track.

For April, just starting the SCD again, picking up exactly where she left off, was not an option. April’s intestinal system was in a precarious place. She needed drastic food action and possibly medication to get her flare under control and get back to where she was in her first few months on the diet.

Because so much digestive repair work needed to take place, I recommended that April go back to the beginning, intro and all. On the specific carbohydrate diet, the introduction diet is a very special place. It’s a place of immense digestive lining repair. It’s a place of true healing that will last for a long time if it’s done right. It’s a sucky few days, no doubt about it, but it is just so powerful and it’s a place to go when you have seriously gotten off track.

After completing a few days on the intro diet, April had a choice to make. She could go back to where she was at before she went astray on the SCD and see if that powerful phase was enough to bring her gut into balance, or she could start again in the beginning stages and start to work her way through again.

ARE YOU AND APRIL SIMILAR?

If you’re thinking that April sounds like you, because you’ve been on an eating plan, and it doesn’t have to be the SCD. It could be a gluten-free diet or a dairy free diet, the diet itself doesn’t matter. If April story resonates with you because you’ve taken some time off your gut healing diet and you’re thinking about how to move forward in the best way possible, you’ll have to decide what works best for your symptoms and your lifestyle.

Decisions like this always go back to your symptoms and your lifestyle. How bad are your symptoms? Do you feel like you could tolerate going way back in time again? Do you have the time in your life right now to put in the energy that it might take to get completely back on track?

For April, the decision was really easy. She knew that on her first four months on the SCD, she felt fantastic. She knew it was working for her. She knew if she started again and went through the stages again, she would be in a good place. So, April went back to the intro, and then she started again. It was about a month ago and so far, April is doing really well.

And especially for April, and this might resonate with you as well. Looking at what caused this in the first place. Why did she intentionally and consistently cheat for so long? I told you that when April started her diet, she was in a quarantine bubble. She wasn’t engaging with other people and the diet was easy to follow. Once April moved out into the world, she found it difficult to commit to the SCD and explain what she was doing to her friends and family. didn’t she.

So along with starting over, April and I are looking at why this happened in the first place. And if April’s story resonates with you, I really want you to look inward at this as well. We’re not born with the ability to talk with people about hard subjects. We’re not born with the ability to be non-conformist. Behaviors like this take time to think about and time to cultivate the new habits that will keep us on track.

SCD EMBARRASSMENT, SHAME, AND GUILT.

When I was in my early days of the SCD, I really struggled with this too. I never cheated intentionally, but I felt so uncomfortable being around others and eating food that was different. I used to have such embarrassment about my almond flour bread and homemade condiments, and bringing my lunch bag wherever I went that I would get really red in the face any time I had to order different food at a restaurant, or any time I brought my own food out at someone’s house. I had to go deep within and figure out why this was such a struggle for me, why did I get so embarrassed about being different from others. Once I did that, I actually planned and prepared things that I would say to people about why I ate differently. This might be something for you to do as well in the beginning stages of new diets like SCD and GAPS.

So, to bring April’s story to closure, if her story sounds similar to your story and you’re thinking about where to go back to after a long cheat and after a long period of not feeling well, go back to the beginning. Go back to where it all began. Once enough healing has taken place in the early stages of your eating plan, you can decide if you want to move forward slowly or jump back to where you were when you fell off the wagon.

Remember when I told you about that well intentioned friend who made the meal for me. I felt fine at first, but after I got home the tummy rumbles and the diarrhea set in. I had to get all of it out of my system. The additives and artificial ingredients in the bone broth set off a chain reaction in my body and I had no choice but to just get rid of all the toxins.

A DAIRY CHEAT VS A GLUTEN CHEAT

But remember, when this incident happened to me, I was in a really good place with my gut health. I have been on the specific carbohydrate diet long enough that I was in remission. I wasn’t having daily diarrhea and most days I felt really well. After three days of diarrhea, my stool firmed up again and I was able to jump back on the SCD horse and pick up exactly where I left off. One cheat, a few days of not feeling well, and then back on track.

Are you going strong on your eating plan? Did you cheat once intentionally or unintentionally with negative consequences? Maybe you can pick back up where you left off. It all depends on how the cheat affects you that really depends on what you’re going through at the time. Do you have non-celiac gluten sensitivity for celiac disease along with your IBD and did your cheat include gluten? If so, that’s going to potentially wreak havoc on your gastrointestinal system.

[20:45] A dairy cheat, for those who are sensitive to lactose or casein, may only last a couple days, but for those with non-celiac gluten sensitivity or celiac disease, it’s going to cause a serious problem. Researchers tell us that gluten can last in the body for up to six months. That’s not to say that you will feel like crap for six months, but it will take a while for you to feel like yourself again. That’s the time to be eating very carefully with your digestion and absorption in mind with every single food to eat.

So, when it’s just one cheat, whether it’s intentional or unintentional, what matters most is how you react personally to that food. Is it something that you’re only mildly sensitive to and you can rebound from fairly quickly, or is it something that’s going to set you back potentially for six months. These are the questions that will help you decide where to go next.

HAS ENOUGH HEALING TAKEN PLACE?

On the other hand, if you’re like my client Casey, who’s purposely cheating to see how her body reacts, your decisions may look very different. Casey had been on the Paleo diet for quite a long time and was feeling great. Casey was intentionally wondering what else can I eat? Has enough healing taken place that I can start to add more variety and pizazz to my diet?

Casey decided it was time to cheat. She had been in remission for a year. She took the time to carefully weigh the possibilities and what she might try first. We worked very hard to figure this out together. And when Casey decided to cheat or as I like to think about it– move forward, she went very slowly. She added in one new food at a time and she used my Food-Mood-Poop Journaling System to figure out how the food she was eating made her feel. Remember, some foods worked for Casey and some didn’t. This is bound to be the case for you as well.

If it’s time to start moving forward and cheat with intention and purpose, be the tortoise. There’s no need to rush here. Keep close track of all the new foods you’re adding in and how they affect you. When you think you’re going slow, go slower. Be the tortoise because the tortoise always wins in the end.

How is all of this landing for your mama? Is it giving you a little bit of clarity on what to do when and if you cheat on your gut healing eating plan? I truly hope so.

Whether you’re in the cheat zone, you end up cheating once, or you are intentionally cheating, I highly recommend you use a Food-Mood-Poop system as well to track how the food you’re eating is affecting you. There’s lots of ways to journal, if you want to see how I do it, DM me on Facebook. I’ll be happy to share my journaling system with you. On Facebook, I’m @TheIBDHealthCoach. Just shoot me a message and let me know you’d like my F-M-P Journaling System.

THE LAST PUZZLE PIECE COMES TOGETHER.

Before we wrap up today, there’s one last puzzle piece we have to fit together. And that’s how all of this cheating might be impacting your mental health. Your emotions.

There’s no doubt about it, it doesn’t matter why we cheat. There’s negative emotions that go along with the concept of cheating. You might feel like you messed up, you might feel like you’re a failure, you might be inclined to beat yourself up and think about the cheat over and over again. Feelings about cheating might overwhelm you and make you begin to feel stressed, anxious, or even depressed.

And this is directly for you mama, if you’ve ever cheated on your gut healing diet before. You might be in the midst of a cheat right now. Holding on to the cheat, beating yourself up about the cheat, deciding that the diet isn’t worth it because you cheated, feeling stressed or depressed or anxious—It’s not an option.

It’s just not.

What’s the point?

HEY CHEATER, YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

Most everyone cheats at one point or another whether they’ve been on a gut healing diet for one day or 1,000 days. It doesn’t make us less than. It doesn’t make us unworthy. It doesn’t mean we should feel embarrassed, or ashamed like we can’t tell anyone about it.

Staying on a gut healing diet is freakin’ hard. It’s not for the weak, it’s not for the meek or timid, it’s for the bad ass woman that I know you are. You are a bad ass woman who’s using everything at her disposal to heal, and I know you are because you’re listening to this podcast right now, there’s no need for shame or guilt or embarrassment.

You are human. I am human. We’re all just doing the best we can on any given day. No matter how long the cheat, let it go. Today is a new day. Tomorrow is a new day. We’re starting fresh.

If the cheat really rocked your world and you’re feeling awful, you’re in flare up mode, you’re on the couch, you’re struggling to take care of the kids, it’s time to take a step back. Start back at the place where you felt your best, and for some that may be way back at the beginning. But start again because it is so worth it. And if you’re struggling to get started again, reach out because you know I’m here to help.

And if the cheat didn’t really affect you, you’re going about your day, you’re not in constant pain, you’re not symptomatic, move onward and upward because the cheat is in the past (where it belongs).

Simple as that.

You got this. I know you got this. We’ve got this IBD craziness together.

Until we meet again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD healing journey.

Chat soon!

Thank you so much for joining me today and for listening to today’s episode. When it comes to IBD, I know there’s a lot of resources out there, and I’m truly honored that you chose the Cheeky Podcast to get your IBD information today. If you found this information helpful, please give us a rating and review. It helps other moms find the podcast and see what we’re doing over here to help IBD moms everywhere. And if you feel called feel a call to do it, share this podcast with an IBD mom who you know could really use an uplifting message today, ’cause that’s what we’re all about over here at the Cheeky Podcast.

[28:16] One last thing, if you’re still with me, and if you are, you’re definitely my kind of gal. We have to get to know each other better. If you’re tired of living on the hamster wheel of IBD with all the ups and downs between flares and remission, if you’re struggling to get control of your abdominal pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea and other troubling IBD symptoms, go to my website. It’s karynhaley.com, and my mom had to be just a little bit different, she spelled my name with the Y. So it’s K-A-R-Y-N H-A-L-E-Y.com and schedule your very own free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble-shooting session with me where we discuss the challenges you’ve been having, we set goals to help you move forward, and we talk about how we can work together to help you get your life back. It’s a power packed 30 minutes. You don’t have to live in IBD status quo. There’s so much that can be done to transform your life so you can thrive in motherhood and thrive with IBD. I’ve seen my clients walk this path and it gives me so much joy to take that journey with them.

My entire coaching practice is run online, so you never have to leave your house and you never have to get out of your jammy or yoga pants for us to work together. You know I’m wearing them to. If you’re ready to take your first amazing step towards healing, I’m ready to chat with you. Schedule your free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble shooting sesh today at karynhaley.com. Click on the work with me tab and I’ll see you soon. It’s important to note that the information in this podcast and in this episode is for general information purposes only and not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The statements made in the Cheeky Podcast for moms with IBD, either by me or my guests, is not intended to diagnose, treat, to cure, or prevent any disease. Before implementing any new treatment protocols, do yourself a favor and consult your physician first.

Thank you so much for listening, for being here, for saving this space for us to spend some time together. Until we chat again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD journey.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
This podcast, video, and blog post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

My Kick Chronic Illness Mom Guilt to the Curb “3 by 3” Roadmap

There’s your typical run of the mill mom guilt. That’s pretty grueling and consuming all by itself.

But then, we moms with Crohn’s and colitis, we get to add in a little cherry on top of that mom guilt, just a little extra guilt in the form of chronic illness mom guilt.

How is that type of mom guilt different, and why does it keep our IBD in a state of subpar health, and most importantly, how can we finally kick chronic illness mom guilt to the curb so we can having a healthier relationship with our kids, our partners and ourselves—and crush our IBD at the same time?

That’s what we’re talking about today.

We’re talking about:

  • The mental muscle anyone can build to help with your chronic illness mom guilt
  • The power of becoming a B- mom
  • How the thought stopping technique can get you over the comparison game
  • The failure I was for not stimulating my kid’s brains in the right manner

And so much more!

After this episode, be ready to topple the 3 pillars of chronic illness mom guilt that are standing in the way of your IBD remission.

Episode at a Glance:

  • [12:45] The comparison game we play as adults starts in our childhood
  • [14:40] The failure I was for not stimulating my kid’s brains in the right manner
  • [18:20] When was the last time you chose YOU over everything?
  • [19:55] The YOU plan is the simplest problem, but hardest to fix
  • [20:21] The mental muscle anyone can build to help with your chronic illness mom guilt
  • [25:43] What to do about friends who make you feel insecure and unsupported
  • [28:22] How the thought stopping technique can get you over the comparison game
  • [33:33] The problem with making Wonder Woman your hero
  • [35:05] The power of becoming a B- mom
  • [37:40] 4 mantras to help with chronic illness mom guilt
  • [41:30] The small sized, medium sized, and large sized YOU plans that will help your mental and your gut health
  • [48:59] Where joy, peace, and escapism fits in your chronic illness mom guilt plan
  • [51:49] The best way to take your IBD healing journey to the next level.

Rate, Review and Subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

Mentioned in This Episode

DM me on Facebook

Episode Transcript:

There’s you’re typical run of the mill mom guilt. That’s pretty grueling and consuming all by itself. But then, we moms with Crohn’s and colitis, we get to add in a little cherry on top of that mom guilt, just a little extra guilt in the form of chronic illness mom guilt. How is that type of mom guilt different, and why does it keep our IBD in a state of subpar health, and most importantly, how can we finally kick chronic illness mom guilt to the curb so we can having a healthier relationship with our kids, our partners and ourselves—and crush our IBD at the same time? That’s what we’re talking about today.

[Music]

INTRO: You are listening to The Cheeky Podcast for Moms with IBD, a safe space for moms with Crohn’s and colitis, connect, explore powerful tools for healing and transform our lives to thrive in motherhood and in life. I’m your host, Karyn Haley, IBD health coach, integrative wellness enthusiast, and mom to three outstanding kids. After having Crohn’s disease for 30 years and working as a health advocate exclusively with IBD clients for the last 10 years, I know it’s time to bring the types of candid conversations I have with my clients out into the open. It’s our time to go on an IBD healing journey and do it like only a mom can. Let’s do this.

[music]

Hey there awesome mama! So happy to be here with you. We’re diving deep today. Are you ready? Let’s take a deep cleansing breath before we go for it. (deep breath in and out) It’s always good to center and ground when you’re going inward.

Hands down, the best part of being an IBD Health Coach and having a degree in Counseling with a Specialization in Medical Family Therapy means that I get to help my clients dive into what’s standing in the way of their IBD freedom from lots of different angles. We get to take a whole life approach, not just nutrition and supplements, not just lifestyle, or just mindset, but all of these healing modalities together. Because it’s never just one thing that contributes to your state of dis-ease. It’s all of these challenges together that create the path for the tornado, and all of these modalities combined that can bring health back into your life.

And when I talk to clients about different eating plans and supplements that can help them find remission, they always think that is going to be the hardest part. What the heck is dry curd cottage cheese and where do I buy finely ground blanched almond flour and what’s the best probiotic to take? This stuff is actually easier than you think. When you finally get resources at your fingertips, everything falls into place. I’ll let you in on a little secret, it’s not the eating for IBD that stops most people from moving forward. It takes time and patience, you with the right tools, you will get there. The hardest part, the part that can keep you stuck in quicksand for way too long is diving into the mindset piece that impacts your Crohn’s and your colitis.

THE CROCODILE IS WAITING TO STRIKE.

Because you can do everything else, but if your mind hasn’t found a way through all the anger, denial, shame, guilt, embarrassment, stress, anxiety, and depression… not just from your chronic illness, but also from all the other stuff we tend to carry around with us unconsciously in our mind. It’s in the background, just lingering beneath the surface, waiting like a crocodile who hides in the water for it’s victim, waiting to come out and strike when we least expect it.

These are the mindset barriers that will keep your IBD in a state of passably OK, instead of I’m feeling fantastic.

And I want you to feel fantastic.

I want your Crohn’s or colitis to be something you only look at in the rearview mirror. Something you only take out for party anecdotes—hey, remember that IBD told you about? It hasn’t bothered me in months!

Yas!!! That’s where I want you to be.

THE MINDSET PROBLEM THAT’S KEEPING YOUR IBD FROM FULL REMISSION.

[05:33] So today, we’re going to focus on one of those mindset barriers. And we’ll focus on the one that affects us mamas the most. It’s mom guilt. And not just any mom guilt, but double whammy mom guilt we get to be blessed with because with us, it’s not just about the normal mom guilt. We’re over achievers.  We’re mom guilt on steroids (literally sometimes)—we’re mom guilt with a side of chronic illness. Think of it like the cherry on top. Only it’s a really nasty cherry, one that tastes awful.

And something I’ve learned in my almost 35 years with IBD (wow, has it been that long), is that chronic illness mom guilt will feaster, it will eat at you, it will linger even when you’re doing everything right to help you feel better. And if you’ve experienced this chronic illness mom guilt before, you know exactly what I’m talking about…

You’re left alone on the couch or in your bed, doubled over in belly pain, or my personal choice, with the heating pad, while your partner takes the kids to the big game (or the dance recital, or the playground, or the amusement park… you fill in the blank there). And while their packing up and leaving, you think to yourself, “Could I just suck it up and go too?” As you try to get up you realize, nope not gonna happen and the chronic illness mom guilt sets in.

Or maybe you’re on a special diet to help your IBD symptoms—gluten free, Paleo, SCD—it doesn’t matter which one. You’re making your own food, you’re spending loads of time in the kitchen each day, but you can’t feed you’re kids that food, even though it’s perfectly healthy for them too because you don’t want to restrict them. So you shlep together a whole different dinner for them as well, feeling so exhausted after all that, that you don’t even feel like eating your own food. And chronic illness mom guilt sets in.

Or how about when you have littles—3,4, 5, 6 years old. And you’re out at Target. Uh-oh, you’ve got to go… NOW. There’s no holding it. There’s no stopping it. You’ve got to get to the bathroom now. There’s no alternate options for your little ones, they’re in the stall with you. You may need to sit for a while, it might get smelly in there. Chronic illness mom guilt starts creeping in… how long is this going to take? The kids are getting restless. I better just give them my phone to play with and I’ll definitely need to get them a treat for their patience. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

What scenarios make you feel guilty when it comes to chronic illness mom guilt? Is it a scenario like one of these or maybe something else?

Well, first I just have to say, and I know you already know this, but we can’t hear it enough. We all have mom guilt. It comes with the job. Did you read the job description?

YOU’RE A MOM, YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS.

Oh, yeah, there’s a job description.

I will get on board with passing something the size of a watermelon through a hole the size of a ping pong ball.

I will change 7,000 diapers in my baby’s lifetime (that’s the average, crazy right). Got another kid? Double that!

I will embrace mom guilt and all the crappy feelings that come with it, and it will wreak havoc on my IBD.

Yep, we sign on for it alright. And it’s slowly and surely killing us and it’s time to kick it to the curb.

For your own sanity.

For your Crohn’s or colitis remission. Can I get an Amen?

For your intimate life with your partner (hubba hubba, cause it’s just not sexy when you bring mom guilt in the bedroom)

For the love of God, it’s time mama.

Once and for all, let’s pledge together that we’re going to kick chronic illness mom guilt to the curb today. And I’ve got the best plan of action to help you do just that. It’s called My Kick Chronic Illness Mom Guilt to the Curb “3 by 3” Roadmap.

I created this plan, after years and years of letting chronic illness mom guilt get in the way of my IBD recovery and I’m sharing it with you so you can kick mom guilt to the curb as well. Because I used to be you. All those examples I just gave you—all those chronic illness mom guilt examples— the mom on the couch missing the fun family activities, the mom making herself crazy making separate meals for everyone in the family, the mom resorting to bathroom phone games for toddlers and bribe gifts—guilty, those examples are all me. And all of that mom guilt wreaked havoc on my IBD. And that’s just a small sampling, but at some point I realized I had to ditch the ever-present chronic illness mom guilt to save myself and ultimately save my relationship with my family. I’m not perfect by any means and I don’t try to be, but I’ve got it under control at least. That’s what I want for you too.

[11:34] So, I call it My Kick Chronic Illness Mom Guilt to the Curb “3 by 3” Roadmap because the roadmap has 3 pillars and each of the pillars has 3 steps. 3 by 3.

Let’s talk about each of the Pillars of Chronic Illness Mom Guilt that are keeping your IBD way to present in your life and then I’ll share with you the 3 steps in each pillar and tell you what we can do to solve this mom guilt problem to topple each pillar for good.

Pillar #1 that creates chronic illness mom guilt is Comparison.

Girl you know it’s true.

THE COMPARISON GAME

When it comes to motherhood, we are comparison queens. And it all starts in childhood.

We’re conditioned that mom is the caregiver, the nurturer, the one who makes the bad dreams, the monsters and boo boo’s go away. TV, parenting magazines, social media, even our own childhood experience shapes these “the mom we should be” intrusive thoughts.

And it’s OK to have those thoughts. I love being the nurturer, and the cuddle mom. It’s not just a badge of honor, it brings me joy. But the problem is, everyone around us makes all these tasks look effortless.

Society tells us that we better be the mom who gives birth naturally, breastfeeds our babies, gives them kale chips instead of candy, uses cloth diapers, potty trains them before their 2, and stimulates their mind at all times.

I once had a fellow mom tell me that I should get rid of the video screen in my minivan (this was in the early 2000’s when kids didn’t have personal devices)—she told me that it was my job to stimulate my kid’s brains while we drove in the car.

What a failure I was. I wasn’t stimulating my kid’s brains. And for a second, I thought huh, does she have a point? We only use it for road trips, but maybe that’s too much.

The comparison game is ruining not just our psyche. It’s crushing all the efforts we’re making to try to get this illness into remission.

Chronic illness mom guilt through comparison. It’s time to crush that pillar.

I mentioned that there are 3 pillars, so let me tell you about the second one.

Pillar #2 that creates chronic illness mom guilt is Perfectionism or what I like to call…

WONDER WOMAN SYNDROME

There ain’t no perfectionist like a mom with a chronic illness and us mamas with IBD are at the top of that list. This chronic illness mom guilt masterpiece comes from one thing—expectations. Expectations about what our mom world should look like, expectations about what we should look like, how our kids should look, talk, be, do… Whether we’re able to admit it to ourselves, we all have expectations surrounding our mom life.

And expectations aren’t always a bad thing, but when we set the bar too high, we’re left to fall a long way down.

We feel like crap when we’re in an IBD flare, but we struggle to clean the house up when someone is coming over.

We aren’t’ up to eating anything, but we make a 3-course meal for our family.

Our spouse or friend offers to help, but we don’t accept it. Nope, we’ve got it all covered. We will somehow become wonder woman and make it miraculously come together in the end.

Guess where we hold all that perfectionistic energy? You guessed it, in our belly. We push our way through chronic illness mom guilt until our breaking point. It’s a vicious cycle.

Chronic illness mom guilt through perfectionism. It’s time to crush that pillar.

[17:25] So far, we’ve talked about two chronic illness mom guilt pillars that we’ve been holding up for far too long—comparison and perfectionism. And Pillar #3 that creates chronic illness mom guilt is the Priority Paradox.

THE PRIORITY PARADOX

If I asked you what you prioritize in life I bet you’d say your kids, your spouse, your aging parents, your job, your friends, your commitments… and all of that would come before you say, I prioritize my own health needs. But Karyn, I do prioritize my health. I have to. But when was the last time you really choose YOU over everything. You over everything.

Just thinking about that gives you mom guilt, doesn’t it?

What kind of mother would I be if I choose myself over my kids? The kind of mom who then has the energy and health so she can then devote time to her kids.

Knowing what to prioritize and when to prioritize it is especially hard for us IBDer’s. Our tendency is to put everything else in front of our own needs, but it’s tough…

Because we need more sleep than other moms.

Because we spend more time in the bathroom than other moms.

Because we need time to re-energize more than other moms.

And when we don’t really have a choice about putting everything, we think should be a priority (all those things I just mentioned) first, guess what happens?

Loads and loads of chronic illness mom guilt—plain and simple.

Why don’t I have my priorities in order? Why can’t I be like other moms who can put their kids first? Definitely some comparison rearing it’s ugly head in there.

THE YOU PLAN YOU NEED.

The sooner you make a YOU plan, the better mom you’ll be. Of all the pillars we need to topple, this is really the simplest problem, with the hardest solution. It’s against our nature to commit to something that supports our health and healing, especially if it means something in our mom life has to give.

If you find yourself struggling in this area, finding your YOU plan that just shifts your priorities ever so slightly is making you a little crazy because you feel like why can’t I just learn to put me first sometimes, I want you to know that creating a YOU plan isn’t a learned skill at all. It’s more like a muscle that needs to be used again and again to gain strength and momentum. So don’t beat yourself up and feel like you just can’t figure this out. This problem isn’t one you figure out. It’s one you just do over and over until it becomes a sacred part of you.

We all know what it’s like to start an exercise regime. Let’s be honest, on day one it kind of sucks. We can’t go as long as we want to, our exercise isn’t as intense as we’d like. By the time day 1 is over, we feel sore, achy, maybe a little defeated.

But then, little by little, the more we exercise, the more we make a deliberate commitment, the easier it gets. Our routine starts to take shape, we begin to see the results, and we might even start craving the feeling exercise gives us. Training your muscles physically—it’s the same process as training yourself into  a YOU plan. You can’t expect to go from weak to strong in one day. As you’ll see when we talk about your 3-step plan to crumble the priority paradox pillar, it’s about giving yourself time and grace to build up your YOU muscle. Growing pains will happen, but as long as you don’t give up, you will see results.

So, we’ve got the problem down mama. We know the three key components that are keeping us stuck in chronic illness mom guilt. The pillars of comparison, perfectionism, and the priority paradox. We’ve held up these negative pillars with craft glue, a little glitter for show, and shear mama bear fortitude for so long. It’s like we’ve been single handedly holding up the leaning tower of pisa. It’s time to take our hand away from holding up these negative emotions and watch them crumble into dust. So, how do we do that?

YOUR 3 MUST DO STEPS TO REDUCE THE COMPARISON GAME.

There’s 3 must do steps for each of the pillars we’ve talked about today. Remember, it’s a 3 by 3 plan. My Kick Chronic Illness Mom Guilt to the Curb “3 by 3” Roadmap is a 3 by 3 plan. Three pillars, three steps for each one to watch them crumble before our eyes. Let’s topple pillar #1: The Comparison pillar.

Step 1: It’s time to complete a friend audit to possibly cull the heard. Are you hanging out with a mom that make you feel inadequate, less than, unsupported? Do you feel like you always have to put on extra lip gloss or dress your best to keep up with that friend? Is she always giving you advice on what you’re doing wrong with your kids? Can you picture this friend? If so, it’s time for a little distance.

We all know ladies like this. And a lot of the time, it’s really more about us than them. Technically, THEY are not making us feel less than. We are the ones with the internal thoughts that push our feelings in this negative direction. But if you’re experiencing this in a relationship, it can definitely be worth taking a step back to evaluate what’s making you play the comparison game with this particular friend.

And the pull back from friends like this doesn’t have to be all at once and it doesn’t have to be today, but start thinking about the friends that lift you up and the friends that don’t. Make a deliberate plan to start spending more time with friends who light you up every time you hang out with them.

Stop the comparison game Step #2: Take a social media respite. I know you’ve been told to do this before, but did you do? Or did you say, I’m taking a week off and then a couple days later, take a quick peak (fingers over the eyes- I’m not looking kind of peak), and then well, I just have to see what so-and-so is up to, and then you’re back in. You’re hooked.

Summer is the perfect time for some technology free downtime while the kids are out of school, and let’s put social media at the top of that technology free list. Instagram and Facebook do have their good points, but so much of our scrolling centers around envy for what fun someone looks like their having or negative self talk when we see someone who appears to have their whole life together. Even though we know rationally that this is just a slice of someone’s life, we get caught up in comparing our lives to theirs. Sometimes this comparison is so instantaneous that is almost unconscious.

Taking a short break from all things social media can really clear your mind and just give you the perfect refresh for your brain health, which as you know if you listened to Episode 6 (way back in the early days of the podcast) is deeply connected to our gut and IBD health.

So step #2 in crumbling the comparison pillar is take a social media hiatus.

Step #3, the last step in defeating the comparison pillar involves making your comparisons healthier by replacing the feelings comparing yourself to others gives you like jealousy, fear, judgment, FOMO (fear of missing out), and negative self talk, with more positive emotional states like empathy and curiosity.

THE POWER OF THOUGHT STOPPING.

[28:24] We do this with a technique called thought stopping. Every time you recognize you’re having one of those negative emotions I just mentioned—like the jealousy and the FOMO, you say to yourself “STOP” (or outloud—of course if you’re in public you might get some strange looks), but “STOP” is your key phrase.

STOP is your cue to replace the negative thought with a more positive and healthy one.

Here’s an example of how this can work in your life:

Let’s take that mom friend we all have who always has the perfect homemade cookies at the bake sale, wears designer clothes while holding her 6-month-old, has no baby spit up on those clothes, has perfectly behaved children—you know that mom.

Instead of thinking, wow, Kim just has it all together. Why can’t I be more like Kim. As soon as that thought creeps into our consciousness, we’re going to say “STOP” and replace that thought with curiosity instead, “I wonder what’s behind all this seemingly perfect outward appearance. I bet on the inside, she’s actually more like me. I bet she doesn’t feel as perfect as I’m making her out to be. Maybe she even has a perfectionistic streak in her, just like me.” That might lead you to go up to her and say, “Isn’t it so hard at these bake sales. Everyone feels like they are being judged for what they bring in. I wasn’t feeling well last night so I decided store bought was good enough.” She might say,” hey me too. Mine are store bought too or my mom helped me with these because I was exhausted last night too.”

Now you’ve got a connection, a conversation, and you’re seeing just how similar you actually are. No need to compare her outsides to your insides.

Let me give you one more example of thought stopping so you can really see what this might look like for you. This one has to do with turning our FOMO into JOMO (joy of missing out). This is an example that just happened to my client, Denise. Denise was feeling bad because she didn’t feel up to going to book club. She had such a busy day and by nighttime, her chronic illness fatigue (we all get that) had set in. FOMO was hitting Denise hard.

But as soon as that feeling came over her, she decided to replace it with “STOP.” And then she thought, what feeling can I replace this feeling with? Well, I might not feel up to book club, but I do feel up to putting on my most comfy pj’s and asking my daughter if she wants to snuggle in bed with me and watch the new show we’re watching, The Mysterious Benedict Society. And that is just what Denise did. She told me that she and her daughter ended up having a great time together. Denise turned her FOMO into JOMO.

See how thought stopping works? You can do it too mama. It takes a little practice to get that word STOP to pop up in your head, but once you do, you’ll be unstoppable.

(sound of a pillar dropping). Hear that? That’s the sound of the comparison pillar toppling. Do a friend audit, opt out of social media for a bit, and thought stopping—your 3 steps to taking the comparison pillar down.

[33:33] OK, remember pillar #2 that’s perpetuating your chronic illness mom guilt? It’s the perfectionism pillar. Let’s crush that pillar in 3 steps right now because Wonder Woman, although she’s awesome on the screen, she’s not a real person.

LET’S CRUSH THE PERFECTIONISM PILLAR.

Step #1: this step can be quick hit, but for some, it take a long time to figure it out. Step 1 is insight. Knowing that perfectionism is standing in your way. This can be the hardest step for many to overcome. Because once we have insight, we can tackle perfectionism head on.

Wondering where you fall on the perfectionistic tendency scale? Here’s some questions you can ask yourself to figure it out.

Do you set high expectations for yourself?

Do you feel like others seldom do things as good as you?

Would you or your friends call your personality Type A?

Does your need to get things right interfere with your ability to get things done?

Do you say “yes” to others even when you know it means you’ll be saying “no” to yourself?

Welcome to the perfectionism club my friend, I’m your founding member. Recovering perfectionist at your service!

Step #1: insight.

THE POWER OF BEING A B- MOM.

Step #2 in the quest to topple pillar 2 (perfectionism) is to focus on becoming what I like to call the B- mom.

To curtail your chronic illness mom guilt, what if today, instead of striving to be a perfect A+ mom, what if you strived to be a B- mom? A B- means that you got it right 80% of the time. That’s not too shabby. Of course, there’s the caveat that life and death situations call for your A+ effort, but how often does that happen?  A B- is a solid effort.

I adopted this mindset when I had my 3rd child and holy cow, life improved life for everyone! I lowered the bar just a little, accepted that sometimes my Crohn’s is going to impact my ability to be the best mom in the world, and decided that it didn’t make me any less of a mom or a woman.

So let’s make this step as real as we can. Let’s say you don’t feel well and the house looks like a tornado went through it. Ask yourself this question: Is there love in your home? I always tell my kids when you leave the nest, I don’t want you saying, man that house was always clean! I want to hear, wow, I was loved.

Strive for B-. It takes work, but it’s so worth the non-effort.

OK one last step to topple the perfectionism pillar. Step #3 is Be you, flaws and all.

Life rarely goes as we plan it. Sh@%t happens. When that happens, I want you to really feel it. Not try to push past it. Really feel it, embrace the bad stuff too. The only way to step to the other side of a door is to walk through it. If we try to step around the door, we only find another door in our way.

Go through the door, and eventually you will come out the other side.

To help you with this, I’ve come up with a few mantras that might help too. Pick the one that works best for you:

My health is more important than my perfectionism.

I will enjoy the journey, and not just the destination.

When I ask for help, I grow my inner circle.

Today, I’m a rockin’ badass B- mom.

You got this mom friend. Let that perfectionism pillar drop right at your feet. No more perfectionistic chronic illness mom guilt. (sound of a pillar dropping).

Last pillar mama. Let’s do this. Pillar #3 was the Priority Paradox.

Remember I mentioned that when you are re-ordering your priorities and coming up with a YOU plan, you’ve got to think of it like muscle building—not pump you up muscle building—but building a smallish muscle that you didn’t have before.

So how do you build that muscle? It’s starts with knowing your YOU plan options. So many of us are willing to build in YOU time, but we don’t know where to start. Let me help you get started. If you’ve got a pen and paper or a phone app open, you’re going to want to write these down. I’ve got you covered with small sized YOU time (when you’ve got 5-15 min), medium sized YOU time (when you’ve got 15-60 min), and large sized YOU time for those extra special occasions when you’ve got 1 hour or more for YOU time.

I’m going to go through these quickly, but if you want a printed list, DM me on Facebook and I’ll send it your way. On facebook I’m @TheIBDHealthCoach. For now, just listen for the ah-has that come up in your mind. Try for at least one idea in each time category.

OK let’s start with the small sized YOU time ideas. When you have 5-15 minutes, you can:

[41:30] Do something that gives you a belly laugh- watch a comedy, tickle your kids, watch one of those funny pet videos on you tube… on the opposite side of your emotions you could meditate with my favorite meditation app (insight timer), you could go outside and do some earthing (involves walking outside barefoot—you’re just going to have to trust me on how amazing this one is), you could complete a 4-7-8 breath, lock yourself in the bathroom for some quick downtime (great for moms with littles when we know their safe), stretch like a cat, or cuddle with your partner.

Time for some medium sized YOU time. When you have 15-60 minutes you can:

Take an Epsom salt bath (awesome for detoxification), get a pedicure (not at home), enjoy some infrared sauna or infrared heat lamp time (if you don’t know what I’m talking about listen to episode 26), re-ignite your spirit with a new hobby or an old hobby you forgot about, go for a walk outside, take a nap, or float in a pool.

Ready for some big, bold YOU time. Here we go. When you have over an hour you can:

Enjoy a girl’s night out or even better a girl’s weekend getaway, take a course or learn a new skill on a topic you’ve been wanting to learn about, enjoy a date night, plan something to look forward to (something a couple months away), get a weekly massage or try some healing reiki or craniosacral therapy, or acupuncture. If you’re not familiar with these energy healing practices, we’re going to be talking about them in the coming weeks so get ready for some super cool IBD healing ideas.

OK, which YOU time ideas are calling your name? Did you pick 3? I hope so. Remember if you need that list in electronic or paper form as a reminder, DM me and I’ll send it to you. So many of you have been reaching out since I set up my new FB account and I’m loving connecting with you that way! It’s great because that connection helps us see that we’re not alone out here in a sea of no one who understands what we’re going through.

So, now you have your YOU time ideas. It’s time to put them into practice. You’re going to do this, all to crush pillar #3: The priority paradox in 3 steps.

LET’S PUT THE PRIORITY PARADOX PILLAR INTO PRACTICE.

Step #1: If YOU time is new to you, if you never prioritize yourself (and you know who you are), I want you to pick only one of the ideas from this list. Maybe there’s one that called to you or one that you’ve wanted to try for a while now.  I want you to promise me you’re going to go for it this week.

And if you’re pretty good at YOU time, it’s time for an assessment. What’s working and what’s not? Do a mental switch up with the YOU things that aren’t serving you and get clear on your vision. What YOU time do you value most? Go for it with one of those ideas this week.

Step #2: Time to put it on your calendar and set your intention for follow through. Whether you’re new to this or old hat, press pause on the podcast and put it in your calendar right now. Saturday, 2pm, time to meet my friend who’s teaching me to crochet. Whatever it is, put it down and then say to yourself, come hell or high water, I will make this my priority. I’m doing it too. This Sunday after soccer, soccer, and more soccer, I’m going to have a date night with my hubby. It’s something we haven’t taken time for in a while and I’m making time for it because it will make me happy. Simple as that. No chronic illness mom guilt allowed.

ARE YOU FEELING JOY, PEACE OR ESCAPISM?

Step #3: You’ll do this later. Once you get started with your new YOU time ideas, it’s time to use your insight and intuition to decide how it’s going. Does this new habit bring you joy, peace, or escapism? If you say “yes” it’s working. Keep it up! If not, it’s it feels like a chore, switch to a new YOU time idea. Keep growing your YOU muscle until you’re at the place you want to be.

The priority paradox pillar is about to come down. Can you feel it? (sound of pillar dropping). Awesome sauce. You did it mama! You crushed all 3 pillars. The pillars that were keeping you living in chronic illness mom guilt for way too long.

How do you feel?

Today, we moved through some pretty powerful emotions as we learned about the Kick Chronic Illness Mom Guilt to the Curb “3 by 3” Roadmap. Don’t be surprised if you feel drained or tired. Even more reason to plan that YOU time.

None of this is easy. The concepts are simple, but the execution is hard. This is going to take time. Pushing through chronic illness mom guilt is not a destination. It’s a journey. One I personally work at every day. Some days I rock (in B- mode), some days I suck at it, and I have to take a step back and say what the heck am I doing.

Remember, I’ve got you. I’m here to help. If you find yourself struggling in this area, and mom guilt is taking over, get in touch. We’ll work though it together.

I appreciate you. I’m so glad we’re in the same gut healing orbit mom friend. Until we meet again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD healing journey.

Chat soon!

Thank you so much for joining me today and for listening to today’s episode. When it comes to IBD, I know there’s a lot of resources out there, and I’m truly honored that you chose the Cheeky Podcast to get your IBD information today. If you found this information helpful, please give us a rating and review. It helps other moms find the podcast and see what we’re doing over here to help IBD moms everywhere. And if you feel called feel a call to do it, share this podcast with an IBD mom who you know could really use an uplifting message today, ’cause that’s what we’re all about over here at the Cheeky Podcast.

One last thing, if you’re still with me, and if you are, you’re definitely my kind of gal. We have to get to know each other better. If you’re tired of living on the hamster wheel of IBD with all the ups and downs between flares and remission, if you’re struggling to get control of your abdominal pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea and other troubling IBD symptoms, go to my website. It’s karynhaley.com, and my mom had to be just a little bit different, she spelled my name with the Y. So it’s K-A-R-Y-N H-A-L-E-Y.com and schedule your very own free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble-shooting session with me where we discuss the challenges you’ve been having, we set goals to help you move forward, and we talk about how we can work together to help you get your life back. It’s a power packed 30 minutes. You don’t have to live in IBD status quo. There’s so much that can be done to transform your life so you can thrive in motherhood and thrive with IBD. I’ve seen my clients walk this path and it gives me so much joy to take that journey with them.

My entire coaching practice is run online, so you never have to leave your house and you never have to get out of your jammy or yoga pants for us to work together. You know I’m wearing them to. If you’re ready to take your first amazing step towards healing, I’m ready to chat with you. Schedule your free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble shooting sesh today at karynhaley.com. Click on the work with me tab and I’ll see you soon. It’s important to note that the information in this podcast and in this episode is for general information purposes only and not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The statements made in the Cheeky Podcast for moms with IBD, either by me or my guests, is not intended to diagnose, treat, to cure, or prevent any disease. Before implementing any new treatment protocols, do yourself a favor and consult your physician first.

Thank you so much for listening, for being here, for saving this space for us to spend some time together.

Until we chat again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD journey.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
This podcast, video, and blog post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Is Dairy Making Your IBD Worse?

Have you heard that eating dairy products can make your IBD worse?

Some say it’s inflammatory and irritating to the gut lining. And others say we need dairy because it’s rich in calcium and it helps give us strong and healthy bones.

It’s hard to get to the truth with so much misinformation out there. Today, I’m busting through all the clutter and the noise to give it to you straight. It’s your dairy 411.

We’re talking about:

  • The nutrient that’s actually responsible for good bone health (and it’s not calcium)
  • What acne, skin rashes, heart burn and acid reflux, and eczema have in common
  • The 3 questions you must ask to know if dairy is a culprit for you
  • The 5 things you should do if you just can’t give up dairy

And so much more!

After this episode, you’ll know exactly what to do to find out if dairy is a culprit for you and you’ll know what to do about it too.

Episode at a Glance:

  • [05:59] Why the United States government loves to promote dairy (and what they should promote instead)
  • [08:24] How Asia and Africa aren’t dairy crazy, but still have the lowest rates of osteopetrosis in the world
  • [08:35] The nutrient that’s actually responsible for good bone health (and it’s not calcium)
  • [13:33] The difference between lactose and casein intolerance and what to eat for both conditions
  • [16:04] The link between casein sensitivity and gluten intolerance
  • [18:25] What acne, skin rashes, heart burn and acid reflux, and eczema have in common
  • [23:45] The dairy product that I thrive on
  • [25:04] The 3 questions you must ask to know if dairy is a culprit for you
  • [28:36] The raw dairy products that have more nutrients than pasteurized products (and their easier to digest too)
  • [29:23] Two animals whose milk might be easier to digest and absorb
  • [30:49] How to get your very own FREE non-dairy milk recipes
  • [32:10] How long you should give dairy free a try to know if it makes a difference
  • [32:59] The 5 things you should do if you just can’t give up dairy

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Mentioned in This Episode

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Additional Resources:

Foods High in Calcium for Vegans

Dairy: 6 Reasons You Should Avoid it at All Costs (Dr. Mark Hyman)

International Osteoporosis Foundation: Vitamin D

Definitions and Facts for Lactose Intolerance

Dairy Free Diet Benefits

Dairy Sensitivity, Lactose Malabsorption, and Elimination Diets in Inflammatory Bowel Disease

Episode Transcript:

Have you heard that eating dairy products can make your IBD worse? Some say it’s inflammatory and irritating to the gut lining. And others say we need dairy because it’s rich in calcium and it helps give us strong and healthy bones.

Who’s right?

If you’re doing a head scratch, not sure what to believe, you’re not alone. There’s so much information, and much of it misinformation out there about dairy that it’s no wonder you’re confused.

And if we’re tryng to decide if dairy is good or bad for our personal situation, that’s hard too right? Because for many of us with Crohn’s and colitis, it seems like everything we eat bothers us. How could you possibly decipher if dairy is one of the culprits?

So often I hear that very thing from clients when I ask about dairy—I’ll say, is dairy a culprit for you? The response I get is “I don’t know. Or how would I know when everything I eat gives me diarrhea, and gut pain, gas and bloating?”

The truth about dairy is that the dairy council and the proponents of dairy aren’t correct and the naysayers that claim that all dairy is the worst thing you could possibly put in your mouth aren’t correct either.

The truth is that when it comes to dairy, whether it’s good or bad really depends. Like so many of the foods we put in our body, it depends on YOU.

Now, on the surface, that might be a frustrating answer for you, but in this episode of The Cheeky Podcast, I’m going to make sure that once and for all, you know how to figure out if dairy is your friend or your foe.

It’s the 411 on dairy, here we go!

[Music]

INTRO: You are listening to The Cheeky Podcast for Moms with IBD, a safe space for moms with Crohn’s and colitis, connect, explore powerful tools for healing and transform our lives to thrive in motherhood and in life. I’m your host, Karyn Haley, IBD health coach, integrative wellness enthusiast, and mom to three outstanding kids. After having Crohn’s disease for 30 years and working as a health advocate exclusively with IBD clients for the last 10 years, I know it’s time to bring the types of candid conversations I have with my clients out into the open. It’s our time to go on an IBD healing journey and do it like only a mom can. Let’s do this.

[music]

[02:43] Hello, hello, welcome! Karyn Haley here, your IBD Health Coach. Today, I want you to know that I appreciate you and am so glad we’re hanging out today to talk about dairy. As an IBD’er—a mom with Crohn’s or colitis, crohn’s colitis, indeterminate IBD—you know who you are, you know what a difficult decision it can be. Saying “I do” or “I don’t” to dairy. Let’s demystify all the noise out there and figure this out together.

Here’s the rundown on our conversation today. First, will make sure we’re all on the same page with what I’m talking about when I say dairy. Next, we’ll talk about why dairy is included in our governmental healthy eating guidelines (in the United States anyway) and why other countries don’t include it, then we’ll talk about some potential problems with dairy, will go over the three questions you need to ask yourself to know for sure if you have a dairy challenge, we’ll talk about what to do if you do find that you do struggle with dairy and lastly I’ll give you your healthiest options if you choose to eat dairy products.

So much to discuss, you’ll want to take notes if that’s an option for you, so let’s dive in.

EXACTLY WHAT FOODS ARE CONSIDERED DAIRY?

First, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page when it comes to dairy. What kinds of foods am I talking about when I say dairy. Dairy products are animal-based products, so they come from animals like cows, sheep, goats, camels, and some types of Buffalo. There are other animals that make milk of course, but these are the most common ones we see. The milk from those animals, and most commonly cows, are responsible for making milk, yogurt, cheese, butter, cream, ice cream, whey, milk powder, condensed milk, and curds. All of these foods are considered dairy products.

And as a sidenote, today were talking strictly dairy sensitivity and intolerance. We’re not talking about a true food allergy. People can have a true food allergy to milk. When they consume milk, even in small amounts, it may lead to hives, swelling, severe vomiting, difficulty breathing and possibly anaphylaxis which is such difficulty breathing that may lead to death.

Today’s focus is dairy intolerance, not allergy.

[05:59] So, now that we know what we’re talking about when it comes to dairy, let’s figure out why milk and other dairy products are so highly recommended by our governmental agencies and departments of health in the U.S. When we’re talking about the My Plate guide, that’s the visual FDA guidelines for what we should be eating—remember that replaced the food pyramid from our childhood– we see a sectioned off plate with areas for fruits and vegetables, protein, and grains. Off to the side of this plate is a circle for dairy. As kids we’re told that if we want to be healthy, if we want to have strong bones and we want to have enough calcium, we need to consume dairy.

DO WE NEED DAIRY TO GET OUR CALCIUM AND STRONG BONES?

So, the real question isn’t why do we need dairy, but a better question is why do we think we need dairy? And that’s the answer. We think we need dairy because we’re told by our government that we need to consume dairy to be healthy. So is this true, is this really the case? We need dairy to be healthy, to have strong bones, to be physically fit, to have enough calcium in our diet.

Well, here’s what I can tell you. We are the only species on the planet that drinks another animal’s milk. Let’s stop and think about that, that’s kind of weird isn’t it? Drinking another animal’s milk. If we’re lucky, we’re nursed by our mothers and we get an amazing amount of nourishment from them. But the nourishment we get from mother’s milk is very, very different than the nourishment we get from another animal’s milk.

But Karyn, I can hear you saying, what about calcium? What about osteoporosis? Milk makes sure we have enough calcium so we don’t get osteoporosis, doesn’t it? When I looked at the actual research on dairy and calcium and osteoporosis, I found that having enough calcium in your body doesn’t mean that you won’t get osteoporosis. And here’s another interesting fact, the continents of Africa and Asia by and large are not shoving cow’s milk down their babies’ throats. And guess what? They have the lowest rates of osteoporosis in the world.

Interesting right?

VITAMIN D IS ACTUALLY BEHIND GOOD BONE HEALTH.

[08:35] Turns out vitamin D levels have a much closer link to our bone health. Vitamin D can help us limit the risk of fractures, helps us absorb calcium, remineralize our bones, help us to have strong muscles so that we decrease our risk of falling. Vitamin D does all that. And just in case that’s got you thinking about your vitamin D level, that is a great thought. Having Crohn’s and colitis historically puts you at risk for having a lower vitamin D level. So while you’re thinking about it, get your vitamin D level checked. And if you want to increase that level, think about wild salmon, sardines, shiitake mushrooms, egg yolks, and of course my personal favorite, the sun.

Now mind you, I’m not saying poo poo to calcium. It’s meaningless. Calcium is important. It’s been shown to decrease the risk of colon cancer so that is a big calcium bonus for us with IBD especially those with ulcerative colitis. But the key piece of information here is that dairy, per say, hasn’t been shown to decrease the risk of colon cancer. It’s calcium that does that.  

THERE ARE BETTER SOURCES OF CALCIUM.

And calcium is found in several food sources. Foods like beans, peas, lentils, kale, bok choy, broccoli, oranges (yes, oranges are high in calcium), and seeds like pumpkin sesame and chia. And if you’re thinking that I’ve got IBD, I can’t have half of those things, I have to challenge your thoughts here. No, if you’re in a flare you cannot digest many of those foods in their whole state. Seeds for example are often thought of is a no-no when we are in a flare or have a stricture in our intestine. But here’s where the high-speed blender becomes your best friend. Putting seeds like pumpkin seeds and chia seeds in a smoothie is an awesome idea. All of the benefit without the difficulty digesting the seeds. Kale and other greens that are high in calcium, but those are another example where it might be difficult for you to eat these foods in their raw form, or even their cooked form. How about blending them into a smoothie in a high-speed blender. Now there’s a great source of calcium.

So yes, calcium is important, but dairy isn’t the only source of calcium. In fact, there are higher sources of calcium like the ones I just mentioned. And when it comes to bone health, we just learned that an even more important factor is our vitamin D level. So please do me a favor and get that vitamin D level checked. The industry standard “normal’ level is 30, but functional medicine doctors (the ones who really dig deep into root cause wellness and not just symptom management), they really like that number to be much higher like between 45 to 60. My vitamin D level has been as low as seven so I’m always working hard to keep it as high as I can.

ARE YOU ONE OF THE 68%?

When we’re talking about the question of do you need dairy in your life, it’s important to know that approximately 68% of the world’s population is genetically incapable of digesting dairy due to lactose intolerance. I’ve heard numbers as high as 75%, but I like to go with the most conservative stats, so we’ll say at least 68%. So, way more than half of the world’s population has trouble digesting dairy. And that number appears to be higher for those of us with Crohn’s and colitis since we already have sensitive digestive systems.

Now, I just mentioned a condition called lactose intolerance. That is one of the problems that people can have with dairy products. Have you been diagnosed with lactose intolerance? Did your doctor explain to you exactly what that means? So often our doctors give us a diagnosis but don’t take the time to explain what it actually means. So, in case you’ve been diagnosed with lactose intolerance and you’re really unclear what it means or maybe your thinking lactose could be a trouble spot for you, let’s get really clear on exactly what lactose intolerance is and what it means for you in terms of what you can and can’t eat.

THINK SUGAR…

[13:33] When you see -ose at the end of a word, think sugar. So glucose, sucrose, galactose, lactose… these are all forms of sugar. Lactose is milk sugar, the sugar found in milk. People who are lactose intolerant do not have the enzyme lactase that’s needed to digest dairy products.

Symptoms of lactose intolerance include digestive pain or tummy upset after consuming dairy, bloating, gas, nausea or vomiting, diarrhea. These types of symptoms usually happen about 30 minutes to 2 hours after eating dairy.

Now, like so many of these secondary diagnoses, we are left in the dark because having IBD, we already have digestive pain, tummy upset, bloating, gas, and we can at different times have vomiting and nausea as well, and of course we’re all too familiar with diarrhea. It’s a huge challenge and I promise that today I’m going to share with you some ways you can figure out if it’s your IBD or an intolerance to dairy.

WHY YOU’RE NOT OUT OF THE WOODS, JUST YET.

But when it comes to the problems that dairy causes in some people, it isn’t enough to just talk about lactose intolerance because there’s another dairy challenge that’s also a possibility for you. Even if you’re OK digesting lactose, you are not out of the woods. There’s a protein found in milk called casein and many people are sensitive to this protein. Actually, you can be lactose intolerant and casein sensitive at the same time. Many people with gut challenges are.

With lactose challenges, we can compensate fairly easily because often times, there are lactose free versions of dairy products, but we can’t get away from casein—that protein found in dairy. It turns out that many people who are gluten intolerant are also intolerant casein. That’s because the molecular structure of casein is very similar to the molecular structure of gluten.

So here comes my first of many tips regarding dairy in this episode. I always recommend that people who know they have a challenge with gluten, people with celiac or non-celiac gluten sensitivity, I always recommend that they also stay away from dairy. It’s amazing, the transformation that it can make for your IBD life. If you stay away from gluten, stay away from dairy as well.

Remember dairy isn’t a problem for everyone. 68-75% of the world’s population. So that means that 25-32% don’t have a challenge digesting dairy. However, when it comes to the people who struggle to digest dairy, more often than not, I see that struggle in those with gut challenges like IBD. When you already have a gut challenge, dairy products can further exacerbate the problem.

IF YOU HAVE THESE PROBLEMS, YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM DAIRY.

While we’re talking about the problems with dairy, I also want to mention an important sidenote here. Back in episode 30, we talked about hidden disorders that that are standing in  the way of you getting to the healing place you deserve to be. These are issues like small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, candida, leaky gut… if you haven’t listen to that episode, definitely go back and check it out, it is one of my most listened to episodes. These hidden conditions that are standing in the way of your recovery, they are also a reason for you to stay away from dairy. Conditions like SIBO and candida and leaky gut (and thyroid challenges—that’s another hidden condition linked with IBD) can mean that you also have a dairy sensitivity. If this is you, it’s my recommendation that you also avoid dairy.

Now, if all of these gut related conditions are linked with dairy sensitivity, you might be wondering if there are other challenges that we see when there’s an underlying dairy intolerance.

WHAT ELSE IS LINKED WITH DAIRY INTOLERANCE?

[18:25] Yep, there definitely are.  Eczema, acid reflux, heartburn, acne… these have all been linked with dairy sensitivity. Not cause, mind you. The research isn’t saying one causes the other, but just that there’s an interesting link between people who have conditions like these also having difficulty digesting dairy. When dairy is removed, challenges like these may just disappear.

When it comes to avoiding dairy because you have small intestinal bacterial overgrowth or candida or leaky gut, thyroid challenges, eczema, or acid reflux, it doesn’t necessarily mean that avoiding dairy is your forever, it is just your NOW. Once enough healing has taken place in your intestine, it is possible that you may be able to tolerate small amounts of dairy again. The interesting thing that I always see with dairy unlike gluten, is that dairy really is in a continuum. Some people seem to be able to tolerate a cup of dairy a day, others tolerate a tablespoon of dairy a day. Everyone is different and figuring out your dairy level will be important once you bring it back in your life.

Remember, I’m not saying that you NEED dairy in your life. We’ve already talked about some much better ways to get calcium and vitamin D to keep your bones healthy, I just know how delicious dairy is and so I want to offer that up to you in case you’re looking forward to adding some amount of dairy back into your life at some point.

THE TORTOISE ALWAYS WINS IN THE END.

I know this is hard, I don’t take these recommendations lightly. I know that this is easier said than done. It’s difficult, it can be a process. It’s OK to take baby steps. Just keep taking imperfect action, keep moving forward and you will get there. And of course, you know if you’re struggling to make changes like this to your diet, I’m here for you. It’s my passion to help you with things like this. Reach out to me through FB and we’ll chat. @TheIBDHealthCoach.

So those are the problems and conditions associated with dairy intolerance. We talked about lactose intolerance (milk sugar). We talked about casein intolerance (milk protein). We talked about conditions that are linked to dairy sensitivity. Conditions are like SIBO, candida, leaky gut, thyroid challenges, eczema, acid reflux, heartburn, skin rashes, acne…

You might be thinking wow that sounds just like me. I’ve had acid reflux all my life. I wonder if doing a trial run without dairy would be helpful for me? Or I know that I’m lactose intolerant so I’ve been drinking lactose free milk, but it’s weird because I still feel crappy when I drink lactose-free milk. Oh, I know what it is now. It must be that I’m not just sensitive to lactose, I’m also sensitive to casein.

MY FAMILY IS NO STRANGER TO DAIRY INTOLERANCE.

In my family there are three of us who know we are sensitive to dairy. 3 out of 5. Oh wow, that’s interesting. I never thought about it but that’s 60%. That’s close to the national average. When my youngest was about three, he started getting these weird rash patches all over his torso. At first, I chalked them up to a chlorine sensitivity or bug bites, but when it happened a few times after a dairy binge (his favorite food of course) I decided it was time to remove the dairy and see what happened. The rashes were gone in a week. We realized it was a lactose challenge for him.

But for my middle son, dairy was a different story. He’s more severe. After a couple mass vomiting incidents from milkshakes and sitting on the toilet for days after eating pizza, we knew his problem was bigger. His test for a true milk allergy was surprisingly negative, but he is intolerant to both lactose and casein—the double whammy. Does that mean he always stays away from cheese and ice cream. Well, not always, he is 18, but he knows when he eats more than a teeny tiny bit, he’s going to be in big gut trouble.

As for me, the other dairy sensitive one in our family, I’ve learned that the only thing dairy related I can eat is 24-hour fermented yogurt. It’s virtually lactose free and I wouldn’t just say in “works” for me. I’d say I really thrive on it. Some do and some just don’t. Occasionally I eat raw cheddar, but that’s about it for me and dairy. It’s more of an acquaintance in my life rather than a lifelong friendship.

IF THE “A-HA” FITS.

Can you relate to any of these scenarios? The ones from my family or the earlier conditions associated with diary intolerance? Were you nodding along saying “that’s me” this whole time?

If that’s you, that’s fantastic news. I’m so glad for these wow and a-ha moments. But if you’re like most moms with Crohn’s and colitis, you might still be wondering, is this me? Nothing I eat seems to work for me.  Nothing I take away seems to work for me. I don’t know if this is me or not. If you’re in this category where you’re still saying does dairy intolerance fit or not fit, I’ve got three questions that will help you finally get to the bottom of the this. Three questions that will tell you for sure, if dairy a problem for you and if you should avoid it.

3 QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASK.

[25:04] Let’s start with the most obvious. Question #1: Did I test positive for lactose intolerance or casein intolerance?  

If your answer to either of these questions is a resounding yes, you’ve got a dairy problem. If your problem is lactose intolerance, you’ll want to stay away from all lactose containing dairy products. And although there are a few ways to test for lactose intolerance, the most common test is the hydrogen breath test which looks at undigested lactose in your body.

If casein might be the culprit, you’ll want an IgG blood test that looks for antibodies in the blood. Of course, a good doctor won’t just look at breath and blood tests. They also look at your symptoms as well.

If you end up positive for one or both of these dairy sensitivities, you’ll want to take steps to avoid certain dairy products.

Let’s talk about question #2 to ask yourself: Do I have symptoms, both G.I. and non-G.I.? We already touched on both of these. Do you have symptoms like abdominal pain, gas, bloating, or diarrhea after eating dairy? We usually look at these symptoms happening 30 minutes to 2 hours after eating dairy. If could be longer though. Non-G.I. symptoms that can be an indication of a sensitivity to dairy include skin rashes, acne, eczema, heartburn, and acid reflux. Remember conditions like small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, candida, leaky gut and thyroid conditions can also mean that it’s a good idea to stay away from dairy for a while.

Do any of those sound like you?

If so, you’ll want to lay off dairy for a while.

One last question you should ask yourself. Question #3: Have I tried other food related gut healing methods to lessen my Crohn’s and colitis symptoms without success? For example, did you try a gluten-free diet and find that while it helped somewhat, it didn’t help completely?  Or maybe you started the specific carbohydrate diet and ate lots (or even a little) of the SCD legal yogurt and your symptoms didn’t improve. What if you tried removing all dairy for a while on the SCD to see if it helps?

SO YOU ANSWERED “YES.” NOW WHAT?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to experiment with a dairy free diet. And there’s lots of ways that you can try this. If lactose is your culprit, you may still be able to benefit from some dairy products. 24 hour fermented yogurt is virtually lactose free, so is 24 hour fermented kefir. These dairy products may work for you and they have the added benefit of being high and probiotic bacteria that can help your gut heal.

You may also be able to tolerate raw dairy products. Some people who are mildly sensitive to dairy are able to tolerate raw dairy like raw cheese or milk. I definitely tolerate raw cheese much better than I do traditional cheese products. Raw dairy products like these are not pasteurized so they contain more vitamins like A, C, E, and B. They also contain more minerals like iron and zinc.

Raw dairy products are illegal in many states, so you’ll want to follow your state guidelines. If you are able to get raw milk products, I highly recommend you have a lengthy conversation with your farmer to make sure you are comfortable with their practices. I have a friend’s daughter who got salmonella poisoning from consuming raw milk but that is very, very rare. Most raw dairy farmers are safe and so are their animals.

Along with eating low lactose dairy and raw dairy products, it may also be helpful for you to try another animal’s milk besides cow’s milk. Two animals whose milk can be more easily tolerated are goats and sheep. I’ve had several clients who do not tolerate cows’ milk but do tolerate milk from other animals. It’s worth checking out if you are a dairy lover.

All of the ideas I just mentioned are for you if lactose is your issue. If you are sensitive to casein, you’ll want to avoid dairy all together. And these days, it’s not that difficult to avoid dairy. Non-dairy alternatives have popped up everywhere. When it comes to milk, my favorite options are the nut milks so coconut milk, cashew milk and almond milk. Yes, you can buy these at the grocery store, but you can also make your own. It is so simple to do and the ingredients are much healthier for your gut. Seed milks are also an option. You can actually make milk from hempseed, flaxseed and also pea protein. So many options when it comes to dairy free milk.

THE RECIPE COLLECTION YOU’LL WANT FOR YOUR KITCHEN.

I have a whole recipe collection of easy peasy homemade dairy free milks so if you’re interested in trying out a recipe for yourself, DM me on Facebook and I will send you my dairy free milk recipes. On Facebook I am @TheIBDHealthCoach.

You can also replace butter which does contain casein with ghee. Ghee is a great casein and virtually lactose free butter alternative for those who are dairy free. You can buy it at your regular grocery store in the oils section or you can even make your own at home. Coconut oil is also a great option for cooking and baking.

If you said yes to my 3 questions and you’re ready to try eating dairy free to see if it helps your Crohn’s and colitis symptoms, I recommend trying it for a minimum of 30 days. If you can make it up to three months that would be ideal. That will give you enough time to decide if eating dairy free is helping your IBD.

Remember, the most important wrap up item here is that if you have IBD, it’s likely that you are sensitive to dairy in some way. As we’ve seen, there are degrees of sensitivity, but it can truly make a huge difference in your life by giving dairy free a try. It doesn’t mean that it’s your forever. It just means that it’s your now.

[32:59] And after all this, if you just feel like I can’t do it. If you can’t give up dairy, and I do see this a lot. People love their dairy products. If you just can’t give up dairy products all together, I highly suggest that you do these five things.

DO THESE 5 THINGS IF YOU JUST CAN’T GIVE UP YOUR DAIRY.

#1- choose hard cheeses instead of soft cheeses. Hard cheeses, aged longer, are a lower in lactose for the most part.

# 2- choose raw cheese, they can be easier for your sensitive belly to digest.

# 3- make your own yogurt instead of buying it, when you make your own yogurt and ferment it for 24 hours, you now have liquid gold in your possession. The probiotic benefits are amazing and the lactose is virtually nil.

#4- when you buy dairy products, buy organic and grass fed. Organic and grass fed products will ensure that you have the healthiest product with the most nutrients available to build up your sensitive system.

#5- start dabbling with non-dairy, it’s not as bad as you might think. Cashew milk ice cream is delish, coconut milk yogurt is rich and creamy. Dip a toe in mama. You might just surprise yourself.

THE RECAP.

Woo-Wee, we covered a lot of dairy ground today mom friend. We started our conversation talking about what exactly is a dairy product, we got into the whole “do we need dairy” controversy. Do we really need dairy? Probably not. We talked about the problems people can have with digesting dairy, including lactose intolerance and casein intolerance. We explored the G.I. and the non-G.I. related challenges that have been linked to dairy sensitivities. We went over the three questions to ask yourself to figure out once and for all if dairy could be your culprit. We talked about what to do if you answered yes to any of those questions. We talked about what to avoid if you do go dairy free and how long to try it (remember 30 days to three months). And lastly, I threw you a bone mama, if you just can’t do it. If you just can’t give up dairy. I gave you five tips to make the dairy you eat the healthiest it possibly can be.

Well, that’s a wrap on episode 40—the dairy episode. If you want to continue the conversation, reach out on Facebook. DM me, I’m @TheIBDHealthCoach and I can’t wait to hear from you.

Until we meet again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD healing journey.

Chat soon!  

[36:36] Thank you so much for joining me today and for listening to today’s episode. When it comes to IBD, I know there’s a lot of resources out there, and I’m truly honored that you chose the Cheeky Podcast to get your IBD information today. If you found this information helpful, please give us a rating and review. It helps other moms find the podcast and see what we’re doing over here to help IBD moms everywhere. And if you feel called feel a call to do it, share this podcast with an IBD mom who you know could really use an uplifting message today, ’cause that’s what we’re all about over here at the Cheeky Podcast.

One last thing, if you’re still with me, and if you are, you’re definitely my kind of gal. We have to get to know each other better. If you’re tired of living on the hamster wheel of IBD with all the ups and downs between flares and remission, if you’re struggling to get control of your abdominal pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea and other troubling IBD symptoms, go to my website. It’s karynhaley.com, and my mom had to be just a little bit different, she spelled my name with the Y. So it’s K-A-R-Y-N H-A-L-E-Y.com and schedule your very own free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble-shooting session with me where we discuss the challenges you’ve been having, we set goals to help you move forward, and we talk about how we can work together to help you get your life back. It’s a power packed 30 minutes. You don’t have to live in IBD status quo. There’s so much that can be done to transform your life so you can thrive in motherhood and thrive with IBD. I’ve seen my clients walk this path and it gives me so much joy to take that journey with them.

My entire coaching practice is run online, so you never have to leave your house and you never have to get out of your jammy or yoga pants for us to work together. You know I’m wearing them to. If you’re ready to take your first amazing step towards healing, I’m ready to chat with you. Schedule your free 30-minute IBD root cause trouble shooting sesh today at karynhaley.com. Click on the work with me tab and I’ll see you soon. It’s important to note that the information in this podcast and in this episode is for general information purposes only and not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The statements made in the Cheeky Podcast for moms with IBD, either by me or my guests, is not intended to diagnose, treat, to cure, or prevent any disease. Before implementing any new treatment protocols, do yourself a favor and consult your physician first.

Thank you so much for listening, for being here, for saving this space for us to spend some time together. Until we chat again, I’m wishing you a cheeky and healthy IBD journey.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
This podcast, video, and blog post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.