Jill Howell On… The Power of Healing with Somatic Coaching
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In this episode of The Cheeky Podcast for Moms with IBD, I’m joined by Jill Howell, an emotional regulation coach and somatic healing practitioner. Jill shares her incredible journey from overcoming chronic health issues, including Complex-PTSD, chronic pain, and anxiety to helping women transform their relationships with themselves.
Jill’s somatic methods focus on the vital mind-body connection, empowering individuals with chronic conditions to cultivate awareness of their bodily sensations, emotions, and stress responses. Rather than relying on a single technique, somatic practitioners utilize a diverse range of tools, including gentle movement, breathwork, EFT, EMDR, and inner child work, and other modalities all designed to help release stored trauma and tension within the body.
If you’ve ever thought about integrating a transformative mind-body approach into your gut healing journey, this episode is the perfect place to start!
Tune in As We Talk About:
✅ [00:06:38] Jill’s personal story of stacked trauma and how it led her to somatic coaching.
✅ [00:12:31] The difference between traditional talk therapy and somatic coaching, and why somatic approaches can be more effective for chronic issues.
✅ [00:20:10] How chronic symptoms manifest in the body and the importance of listening to these signals.
✅ [00:23:43] The five steps to healing: rewire, regulate, release, reconnect, and reclaim.
✅ [00:41:24] Practical strategies for developing self-compassion and emotional awareness, even amidst the chaos of motherhood.
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Mentioned in the Episode:
>> The Ultimate IBD Diet Decoder Quiz
>> Join The Gut Love Community for Moms with IBD
>> Book Your FREE IBD Consultation with Karyn Today
Connect With Karyn:
Connect With Jill:
The Book Jill Mentions: The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook
Episode Transcript:
Karyn Haley [00:00:08]:
Hey there, mama. Welcome to season two of The Cheeky Podcast for Moms with IBD. I’m Karyn Haley, functional IBD nutrition and wellness coach and Crohn’s warrior. This podcast is all about us moms because our IBD plays by different rules. Season two is juicy, full of unconventional wisdom, real talk, new ways to tackle our illness, and a whole lot of community empowerment, and all of us advocating the hell out of our illness. We’re in this together. And I’m here to help you find healing on your terms. Let’s do this.
Karyn Haley [00:00:49]:
Well, hey there, my friend Karyn here, and I am so happy to be back with you for another powerful interview episode of the Tiki podcast. The topic today that we’re going to be involved in, it falls under what I lovingly call unconventional treatment. So it’s the unconventional realm of managing Crohn’s and colitis. But I’ve got to say, I’ve got to say I wish it was more mainstream. And I guarantee that you’re going to feel the same way after listening in. You know, even though I think it’s especially hard for us moms with IBD to delve into this mind body side of healing, I think it’s that way because, well, because of so many things, because we don’t have time, because we put our kids first, because we’re already managing so many other healing modalities. And so there’s many, many solid reasons why we don’t put it at the top of our list. So to us IBD moms mind bodywork, it’s just another item on our to do list.
Karyn Haley [00:01:54]:
And it’s an item that we never get to. We want to get to it, but it just doesn’t happen. And having ignored this crucial pillar of healing on my healing journey, I know I’ve talked about this before on other podcast episodes. Having ignored that for way too long, having gone through the consequences of my inaction, I now I make it my mission. Because I know how powerful it is. I make it my mission to shout it from the rooftops. Every promising unconventional IBD healing modality that I hear about, I have to shout it from the rooftops. And I have to say that right now.
Karyn Haley [00:02:32]:
Right now, at this point in my life, I don’t think there’s a non traditional healing avenue that I’m more passionate about than somatic healing. And I can’t think of anyone better to walk us through the ins and the outs of this healing technique than Jill Howell. Jill is an emotional regulation coach and a somatic healing practitioner. Having had her own experiences with chronic health issues, she even has had some gut challenges she’s going to tell us about. She’s personally triumphed over PTSD, chronic pain, anxiety, and she now dedicates her life to helping women transform their relationship with themselves through her somatic practice. In today’s episode, I asked Jill to tell us all about her own transformative journey, from facing her own stacked up traumas to discovering the profound benefits of a somatic practice. And even though her story, it may be different than yours, you might be thinking, that’s really different than mine. I think you’re going to resonate with it, and maybe.
Karyn Haley [00:03:41]:
Maybe you’re going to actually even see some of those similarities between her story and your story. In Jill and I, we also explore the types of techniques that she uses with her clients. And she. She talks about how these methods are able to empower you to reconnect with your body, to regulate your emotions, and then ultimately find peace amidst the chaos and the craziness that is our life. Find peace. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Can I get an amen for that? We all want that right now. I do have to say, before we dive in, I do have to say that Jill and I, we pretty much just dive in and we start talking about somatic coaching. So before we get there, in case this is a new treat modality for you, I just want to highlight what a somatic practice entails, kind of at a high level.
Karyn Haley [00:04:32]:
So at a high level, it’s an approach to healing. It focuses on a mind body connection. It helps anyone that’s dealing with anything chronic. So any chronic conditions, it could be a physical chronic condition or a mental health chronic condition. But when you’re dealing with a chronic condition, and it really helps you in that state become more aware of your bodily sensations, your emotions, your responses to stress. And there isn’t just one method that’s used by all somatic practitioners. It’s more like there’s a variety of treatment tools, like things like gentle movement and breath work and EFT and EMDR, inner child work, among other techniques as well. I’m just naming a few.
Karyn Haley [00:05:18]:
And these types of techniques, they help to release stored trauma or tension that you might have in your body. So if you’re curious about how somatic practices can help you reclaim your health, then I got to say, this is the episode for you, my friend. Okay, I think that’s all I need to mention before we dive in. I think I have the table perfectly set for this conversation.
Karyn Haley [00:05:40]:
And grab a cup of tea and let’s hear this conversation with Jill Howell. Jill, welcome to the podcast. I’m so excited to talk with you today.
Jill Howell [00:05:50]:
Thank you. Thanks so much for having me.
Karyn Haley [00:05:53]:
Yeah. So I want to dig into emotional regulation, somatic coaching, nervous system, dysregulation. I know all of that is part of what you do, and I really want to get to the heart of how all of that relates to digestive disorders because that’s what my community is dealing with. And I have to tell you that lately I have gotten so into this topic. Like, I would say I’m obsessed because it’s not something that was part of my journey or my practice a while back. But I found that somatic coaching has been so powerful for me that I just, I had to start sharing it. I was sharing it with my clients and they’re seeing amazing results. And I know when that happens, it’s time to bring it to the podcast.
Karyn Haley [00:06:38]:
So that’s why I’m talking with you today. And I would really like to start, like, we’re going to dive into all of it, but I want to start with your journey because I know that it’s your journey that actually brought you to somatic coaching. So can we start there? Let’s start with what happened in your life to lead you to this line of work that you’re in.
Jill Howell [00:06:58]:
Oh, girl, we could be here all day talking about. I’ve had a lot of stacked trauma. Honestly, I would say there have been two seasons of my life, distinctively where I would call them kind of dark nights of the soul, meaning I was really stuck in a lot of anxiety and depression and. And I had a lot of chronic symptoms. So the first time that that was happening was back in like 2010, 2011. That is actually when I first started noticing a lot of my digestive issues. Okay. So that was when I was going through just a really difficult first marriage that I was in, and I was contemplating leaving, and it was really, really toxic to me to stay, but it was also very scary to leave because I had a daughter and I was not working full time.
Jill Howell [00:07:58]:
So it was just a really scary place. So my body, I feel like at that season of time, held a lot of my distress in my stomach. So I really didn’t even know about somatics at that point. I was still doing traditional talk therapy, and I continued all the way through my, really, my twenties and my thirties. So for about two decades, that was the basic thing that I tried to help heal me and help me move through anxiety and depression differently, and it still wasn’t enough because then another trauma stacked on top of it, and in about 2020 is when my nervous system, I feel, like, collapsed even more. At that time, interestingly, I wasn’t having digestive issues as much. However, I was still having some of the symptoms of, like, back when that first season happened. I ended up going gluten free, dairy free, doing all these things to help with inflammation and just digestive issues.
Jill Howell [00:09:06]:
And that was still kind of there, but it wasn’t like, interestingly, it started moving to my shoulders, my neck, and my shoulder pain was debilitating.
Karyn Haley [00:09:16]:
Wow.
Jill Howell [00:09:17]:
That was my catalyst for saying talk therapy is not enough for my sensitive nervous system. The amount of trauma I’ve had from childhood through adulthood and the ways that it was stacking and the ways that that one in particular in 2019, 2020 is around when a lot of my childhood trauma was reactivated, basically, those wounds of the past had come back up in a really big way. A lot of these same emotions that I had felt as a child, I was feeling based on circumstances that were happening. And what really made me look into something different was the fact that I spent thousands of dollars trying to help get rid of, and I say get rid of, intentionally get rid of my neck pain that I was having. It was debilitating on days. I did physical therapy, I did chiropractors, I did acupuncture, I did cupping, I did massage therapy. I tried everything to help alleviate and get rid of the pain, and it wouldn’t leave.
Karyn Haley [00:10:24]:
Wow.
Jill Howell [00:10:26]:
It was like just this constant ache that even if I did something, it would alleviate it just temporarily for short term, you know, moment. But it was never. It never, like, got rid of it. And so finally, I was. I went to a doctor, and they diagnosed me with PTSD.
Karyn Haley [00:10:49]:
And really, a medical doctor or a psychologist. A medical doctor, no.
Jill Howell [00:10:53]:
Medical doctor. Wow. She was like, tell me what’s going. Because she asked me more questions. She was a little more holistic, and she was like, what’s going on in your life? And then she diagnosed me with PTSD, and she said, you’re holding a lot of emotional pain. Your body’s holding it. And at that point, she didn’t tell me what to do to help it, but she created the awareness for me, and I was like, okay, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Karyn Haley [00:11:24]:
That’s right.
Jill Howell [00:11:25]:
So I was like, I’m done with traditional talk therapy. I’m opening the door full and wide to any other healing modalities to see what I can do to help myself feel more at peace inside of my body. And I discovered nervous system regulation, and specifically for me, somatics, meaning anything that’s body based, recognizing my body would not come back into a state of ease and at peace because it was holding so much alarm. I couldn’t think my way to peace. I could try. I did go to a mindset coach who was, you know, she had a little bit of somatic background, and she opened up the door to eft tapping. For me, that was my starting point, exploring somatics and an integration of mind and body healing. And in going at something from an approach of, like, really honoring the body, too, that’s where I started.
Jill Howell [00:12:31]:
And then I just kept pursuing and I kept the snowball rolling, and I just kept looking and kept seeking and kept trying things and exploring. And I realized the more that I actually did gentle movements, the more that I allowed myself to connect to my body and honor the alarm that my body was holding. With anxiety and with depression, the more I learn to communicate with the emotional parts of me. I’m certified, actually, in somatic parts work, which means, oh, that’s interesting.
Karyn Haley [00:13:05]:
What is that?
Jill Howell [00:13:06]:
Yeah, so it’s really an inner child healing modality, but it’s recognizing the fact that we have no bad parts within us. We have a part of us that feels anxious, a part of us that feels sad, a part of us that’s, you know, experiencing the world. It’s not the totality of who we are. And then what I’ve started recognizing is that there are parts of me from age six to eight that when I’m triggered by something that’s happened in an emotional way, that emotional connection to back when I was six to seven, eight years old, activated. And that’s actually, it’s more often than not, the actual thing that’s happening in the present moment. It’s the trigger of the emotional connection of how I felt as a kid.
Karyn Haley [00:14:00]:
Yes.
Jill Howell [00:14:01]:
So I communicate now with that part of me, and I do that from a body level. So when I’m working with my clients, what I’m doing is I’m actually helping them find sensations in their body. And what we do is we connect to the sensations that are there. And then we ask the body, how long has it been holding this energy, this emotion? And the body always answers in response, I haven’t met somebody.
Karyn Haley [00:14:29]:
The body knows.
Jill Howell [00:14:31]:
Yeah, the body knows. I haven’t met somebody who can’t answer that question once I truly get them grounded. And in a space of connection to their body into the sensations that once they ask the body, and I’m like, don’t think about it. I just want you to ask that part of your body, if you’re holding it in your chest, ask your chest, how long have you been holding this?
Karyn Haley [00:14:55]:
I’m hearing all of these words that I know that people who are listening can relate to, like the fact that you were talking about digestive problems in relation to a trauma that you were having. And I like that you call that first marriage and all that went on there trauma, because oftentimes we think of trauma as somebody who went to war or somebody that has endured an assault of some kind. But there are, I guess I don’t know if you would call them microscopic traumas or small traumas that are happening to us throughout our lives. And so I’m hearing that. I’m hearing anxiety, depression. These are all things that people who are listening can relate to. So you started to touch on it a little bit about some of the things that you do in a session with somebody, but let’s actually talk about that because I bet there are people listening that are like, what is she talking about? What is this somatic coaching? I have no idea. I wanted to hear about your journey to start, but let’s just take it back a little bit and tell us how is what you do different than traditional coaching? What is somatic coaching, and how is it different from just a traditional coaching or even traditional therapy? That’s another thing that I really honed in on, that you were talking about how talk therapy isn’t for everybody.
Karyn Haley [00:16:11]:
So clearly it wasn’t the thing for you. And I think for a lot of people I work with, it’s not the thing for them either. So what, like, you know, just on a global scale, what is this that you do? What kind of things are you doing in a session? What is it?
Jill Howell [00:16:26]:
Yeah, so one of the biggest differences that I’ve noticed in what I’m doing versus a lot of talk therapists. So I would say I’ve been through several because I would always try to find the right one. That’s going to have the magic bullet to heal me. Yeah, but I, you know, it’s more of a cognitive processing. That’s what takes place in a traditional talk therapy. The strategies are not bad. I want to make that very clear. And they are helpful and they can be useful.
Jill Howell [00:16:58]:
But for me, it was always, like, short term. And sometimes, honestly, the talking kept me, like, what I felt like, because I like to use this imagery of dancing in the mess. I feel like I just, like, vomited the mess onto the table. And then sometimes I was sitting there in my vomit, and by the end of the session, it was like, 60 minutes is done. Time to go. And I’m like, wait, this still smells. And it’s really icky, and I don’t know what to do with it.
Karyn Haley [00:17:26]:
And they’re like, okay, 15 minutes are up. Goodbye. Right.
Jill Howell [00:17:30]:
And so. And all I did was spin my wheels in my head. And so it just created more, like, chaos for me at times. Sometimes I would leave feeling more distraught than when I started.
Karyn Haley [00:17:42]:
Right, right.
Jill Howell [00:17:44]:
What makes it different for me is I never allow a client to leave more distraught. It’s my commitment. And part of how I do that is because I’m always bookending everything that I do with this really compassionate response to whatever comes up, and we go to the body first. So what it looks like is, you know, my clients might tell me something that’s gone on or what, you know, give me a high level view of the wins and the struggles of the week. If they’re a repeat client, you know, they. They inform me of that stuff. But then we move to the body, and I genuinely am taking my clients through a guided. You could even call it meditative.
Jill Howell [00:18:32]:
Meditative experience. To slow down, to connect with their breath, to come back to a place where they feel safe and connected to themselves, and to me, feel resourced and regulated so that we can move and be in, you know, be more aware of what’s happening in the body. Until we take that sacred pause, we’re just all up in the head. So I’m like, let’s drop into the body. Let’s feel the sensations. Where are we feeling things? Where are we holding it today? And I let the body lead through a lot of my sessions. I don’t come in with a master plan. I come in open handed, ready to intuitively respond and gently guide my clients to whatever comes up.
Karyn Haley [00:19:21]:
I love that. See how different it is from talk therapy. I have so many people where I know that therapy would be something that would be valuable for them. In fact, that’s my background. My master’s is in counseling. But I never learned somatic therapy. It wasn’t part of my curriculum at all. It was a three year curriculum, nothing.
Karyn Haley [00:19:40]:
But so often people will say to me, you know, I’ve tried it. I went to five therapists. I went to ten therapists. It was never helpful for me. And I think people, especially with digestive disorders or probably any type of chronic physical, where there’s a big physical component to what you’re feeling, this would be really valuable. 100%. Yeah. So tell me, what are some of the, besides digestive issues? There’s people listening that may have other issues as well.
Karyn Haley [00:20:10]:
What are some of the major challenges that you see could be benefited from finding a somatic coach or a therapist.
Jill Howell [00:20:18]:
Anyone who is having any sort of chronic symptoms repeatedly in their body.
Karyn Haley [00:20:24]:
I love that.
Jill Howell [00:20:24]:
Okay, so any chronic illness, autoimmune disorders, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, digestive issues, sleep issues, any chronic experiences I actually like to call anxiety and depression symptoms as well. Those are just chronic symptoms that are just showing up in the body. It’s the body’s way of alarming you and getting your attention. I feel like the body is a smoke detector. It’s always trying to get your attention, and it will get your. When it really needs your attention, it will do it through chronic symptoms of some kind.
Karyn Haley [00:21:02]:
Yeah, that’s so true, isn’t it? So I love that. So anything chronic that’s going on that can be helped with this type of.
Jill Howell [00:21:11]:
Therapy, I believe it’s a piece of it, for sure. Right.
Karyn Haley [00:21:14]:
And you probably see people with multiple issues. Right. They’re not typically coming with one thing.
Jill Howell [00:21:21]:
Yes. Usually by the time they finally have gotten to a place where they open themselves up to the work that I do, they have chronic things that have stacked.
Karyn Haley [00:21:32]:
Yeah. Yes. Why is that? Why did. There’s so many things you have to go through before you will seek help. And I work specifically with moms, and we’re notorious for this because everything comes first before us.
Jill Howell [00:21:47]:
Exactly. That’s exactly it. There’s that element of it I believe is key because I work mostly with women too, a lot of moms. And I also believe that part of it is just the lack of emotional intelligence in the generations prior, meaning they didn’t really have the skills to move through emotions. They didn’t know how to. It wasn’t talked about. There’s, you know, most of the. Most of anybody in their thirties, forties or higher were not really parented in a way that allowed for emotional expression.
Jill Howell [00:22:28]:
And so if somebody is not able to express themselves, the body holds it for them. And that’s where we come out, you know, with chronic symptoms, the body is just really holding too much for too long of a period of time, and it doesn’t know what to do with it, and it needs our help. We have to learn how to become the guide of our bodies to really. I empower women to coach themselves back to peace?
Karyn Haley [00:23:01]:
Well, let’s actually get into that, because I know that you talk about these different words as a pathway to healing, and I want to actually say them because I love these words. Okay, so the words that I want to say are rewire, regulate, release, reconnect, and reclaim. So how walk us through the steps. Explain specifically, how do we walk this journey of these. They’re just words right now, right. How do we make them an experience? But especially for digestive disorders, how do we walk this journey of going through that process and to find healing on the other side?
Jill Howell [00:23:43]:
You know, I think it starts with really opening ourselves. And I had this visual in my head as I was thinking about how to respond to this, and it’s open hands. This is the vision that I had in my hand, like, in my head as you were talking. It’s like it starts with opening our hands to exploration, to really coming into the body with new approaches that feel uncomfortable at first. Everything we do feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar to the nervous system. And when I say nervous system, we’re just talking body and brain interconnectively. The communication highway between the body and the brain. And so, for me, a lot of this journey, of those five words that you just spoke are all kind of interconnected.
Jill Howell [00:24:36]:
And sometimes the journey looks different for each person. But I do believe the thing that is similar, that is needed for I would vouch all people, because we live so protected and we live so uptight and stressed, like, in a lot of our culture, is operating from that stance. And I believe that to rewire the brain and the body in the nervous system, we have to reconnect with ourselves. We have to help guide the body in the brain to reconnect again. Because trauma and trauma, meaning anything that has happened that has been either too much or not enough for somebody, can actually, you know, impede that journey and cause us to not be able to have this brain and body connection. We disassociate, we disconnect. We really are struggling to be present, even with ourselves, let alone other people. So.
Karyn Haley [00:25:44]:
Right. It just gets worse and worse with every generation.
Jill Howell [00:25:50]:
Yes.
Karyn Haley [00:25:50]:
You know? Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Jill Howell [00:25:53]:
So, for me, I like to teach clients how to hold space for pain and pleasure in tandem.
Karyn Haley [00:26:05]:
In tandem. Okay.
Jill Howell [00:26:08]:
I believe that we need both. This is what I needed. I needed to connect with myself in a really loving, compassionate way. And for me, even as I’m talking, I’m putting my hands on my heart, because that’s what it means. This is home for me, my home base. After all of the trauma and after so much nervous system dysregulation that I was stuck in, and I. When I say that I was stuck in those. Those two timeframes of life, and it was.
Jill Howell [00:26:37]:
There were dark times. I mean, I wanted to die.
Karyn Haley [00:26:40]:
Yeah.
Jill Howell [00:26:42]:
Mean that to be dramatic, but it’s genuine. I was like, I’d even pray, God, if you could strike me dead, I’d be grateful. I’m not scared of a tornado. Bring it. I’m not scared because I want to go.
Karyn Haley [00:26:58]:
Yeah, yeah.
Jill Howell [00:26:59]:
But it was very real for me. And so for me now, like, even as I’m talking, it’s like I put my hand back on my heart and my body. I’m like, this is my home base now. And so my journey of this, like, helping women to rewire and reclaim and restore and release what’s stuck in the body is all about coming back home to ourselves with love and compassion. So much gentleness, so much tenderness. Really learning skills. It’s skills based to know how to respond to ourselves when we experience emotions, giving ourselves that ability to have, you know, the space to process and use our words and not just repress everything. Right? Yeah.
Karyn Haley [00:27:53]:
When you do this, you know, and for those who can’t see what I’m doing, when you’re putting your hand to your heart there and you’re talking about coming home, it makes me feel. And the way that I’m hearing it from you is that you have this in you. It’s there. And it wasn’t.
Jill Howell [00:28:12]:
It wasn’t for the first 40 years of my life.
Karyn Haley [00:28:15]:
Gotcha. So.
Jill Howell [00:28:16]:
Know what I mean?
Karyn Haley [00:28:17]:
Like, do you feel like it’s inside people? It’s about tapping into it, or are you saying it’s not there? We have to figure out how to bring it, how to bring this place of home to our heart? Or do you think we all have it in us, but somehow, through all of these little chinks and micro traumas that happened, we lose the connection with it.
Jill Howell [00:28:37]:
I think it’s always there. I think it’s there. And when. When I’m helping my clients move through this transformation journey, it’s all about getting them into a flow state. You know, the parts of us that hold the flow state are younger versions of us.
Karyn Haley [00:28:54]:
Of course they are. That makes complete sense, right? Talk about flow. When you’re young and innocent and you don’t know about all kinds of world problems. That flow. I love that word that you used, flow. It’s a flow.
Jill Howell [00:29:09]:
It is a flow. And so I’m all about helping women to access that with tangible skills. Because if you tell a woman, okay, go into a flow state, okay, access a flow, okay, act like a kid. We’ll look at you like with deer in the headlights, like, okay, crazy lady, I don’t know what you’re doing.
Karyn Haley [00:29:28]:
It does sound good, I have to tell you. It sounds good. But you’re like, well, how do I do? What do I do now? What? That’s great, but what do I do to get there? So I guess that’s where the skills that you’re teaching, that’s where you’re tapping into the actual skillset of it, the learning part of all of this. Yeah, just a quick interruption. We will get back to the podcast in a second. I’m wondering, are you, like many of us, with Crohn’s and colitis, you’re turning to food to help heal your gut, but you’re just feeling really overwhelmed by the myriad of gut healing diets out there. There’s gluten free and dairy free and paleo gaps, and it can be really confusing and frustrating and leave you feeling disheartened about which diet is the right one for you. And I’ve been there myself.
Karyn Haley [00:30:15]:
That’s why I created the ultimate IBD diet decoder quiz to help you find your best diet for your unique needs. Now, maybe you’ve tried one of these diets, but you gave up quickly because they were just too strict or they didn’t fit with your lifestyle. Here’s the truth. There is no one size fits all diet. But there is one best diet for you. And the best diet for you isn’t just about your symptoms. It’s about your lifestyle and your personality, too. Are you ready to find the gut healing diet that fits you like a glove? Head on over to karenhaley.com quiz to take my ultimate IBD diet decoder quiz.
Karyn Haley [00:31:01]:
It’s free, and it only takes three minutes. Discover what you’ve been meant to be eating to put your IBD in its place. That’s karenhaley.com quiz. And now back to the show.
Jill Howell [00:31:16]:
I believe that this is what I needed, and I believe that there are women who need the integrative healing approach. So for me, everything I do is integrating multimodalities. I don’t believe one modality is the one size fits all for everybody. I’m intertwining meditation, breath work, NLP and cognitive processing strategies, eft tapping, which I’m a certified practitioner in the the somatic parts work. I’m creating experiences that are hands on that allow for somebody to embody. I would say I’m an embodiment coach too. Really? I’m an embodiment somatic healing coach that really allows for the body to receive the information because with the brain, we can try to mantra our way to thinking a certain way. But if the body is working against us because it’s holding a protective alarm of, no, that doesn’t feel good.
Jill Howell [00:32:19]:
That doesn’t feel safe. Like, that’s literally what my body was saying, ah, no, this is too much. And I really felt like it was saying there, it didn’t feel safe in the world. Ever?
Karyn Haley [00:32:32]:
Yeah, yeah.
Jill Howell [00:32:32]:
Really? Yeah, ever. In my 40 years of living, when.
Karyn Haley [00:32:36]:
You have a chronic issue, I think it’s really common to feel that way because you’re so often feeling deflated, defeated, disheartened, hopeless. That, yeah, that just, yeah, just, it just takes up so much space. It becomes part of your psyche, it becomes part of who you are.
Jill Howell [00:32:59]:
Yeah. Your subconscious programming is what I like to call it.
Karyn Haley [00:33:03]:
Right, right. And so I guess it’s about reprogramming that.
Jill Howell [00:33:07]:
It is. That’s exactly what I do, is I help women move through their subconscious blocks and help to reprogram their brain and their body for peace, for ease, for joy, for confidence, for all of the things that they’re lacking. The void. We’re really going into these spaces where the void is within us, where it’s held, and it’s always held on a body level, and we’re allowing the body to begin to feel safe enough to let it go, too soften. But the goal and the objective is never to make it let it go. We’re never, like, in the somatic parts, work that I do with clients. I’m not like, I never want a client to try and get rid of a partner. And we have to make sure that part of us feels loved, cared for, cherished, supported, like a best friend or like a little kid.
Jill Howell [00:34:09]:
Like, I become the new parent for these parts of me that maybe didn’t get core needs met as a child.
Karyn Haley [00:34:16]:
Because it is part of us. Even. Even if we don’t like that part, it is a part of us. And so it’s like, it goes back to when you were talking about your back and your neck pain earlier, how you were trying to get rid of it. That’s never the way. That’s never the answer. Yeah, never. So I want to get rid of it, you know?
Jill Howell [00:34:35]:
Yeah. And let’s be real here. I, back then, in those dark days, for me, I was disgusted with myself, I did not like very much of who I was in those moments because I didn’t like how I felt. And I felt so much shame and guilt for being stuck there and not knowing how to get out that I really turned against myself. So the journey of healing for me is all about turning towards ourself and all of these parts of us that really have core needs that still need met. And instead of relying on other humans to meet those needs, we begin to meet those needs, those emotional needs.
Karyn Haley [00:35:17]:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s so empowering, right?
Jill Howell [00:35:20]:
Yeah. Then the body softens and eases on its own. We don’t have to try and get rid of whatever’s there. It just softens and it lets go through a gentle.
Karyn Haley [00:35:35]:
The wisdom of the body. It what it wants to do that. Can you take us through? Maybe there’s a scenario or an example that you can think of where you worked with somebody that had a digestive disorder, any kind. It could be IBS, it could be IBD. Like, you know, what is, what was that journey like for them? What are some. You mentioned several different modalities. What kinds of things are you doing with someone who’s coming to you with where digestive challenges are their main symptom?
Jill Howell [00:36:02]:
So can I be honest? Every diagnosis, every diagnoses that somebody comes to me with, I don’t treat it any differently.
Karyn Haley [00:36:12]:
Okay. It doesn’t matter what they’re coming with. So it could be anything?
Jill Howell [00:36:16]:
Yeah. Really? It’s. Any chronic symptoms that are repeatedly showing up in the body, it’s showing a lack of safety inside of the body. It’s showing there’s voids inside of us, there’s emotions suppressed inside of us that need to be seen and heard and validated and really held with so much love and compassion. And what happens in the journey of doing that? The body symptoms start easing because same.
Karyn Haley [00:36:50]:
Approach, it does whatever it is, it’s the same approach. And how there’s so many different modalities, and I love that you talk about the different ones because I have seen some somatic coaches and therapists that maybe specialize in one thing and that’s what they do. But it sounds to me like you’re picking from a wide range of, you have experience with a wide range of modalities. So how do you then go about figuring out which one are you going to use in which moment? Is it client centered or is it more through the presentation and your experience? How do you. Are you just using them all with everybody?
Jill Howell [00:37:31]:
Every session I ever do looks completely different.
Karyn Haley [00:37:36]:
Okay.
Jill Howell [00:37:36]:
I would say I’m an intuitive healer. And so I really go to, I’ve always been ultra sensitive to the extreme. I’ve always carried emotion in a big way. And I think that part of that was I was dysregulated. Even in my mom’s womb. I really believe I came into the world with a dysregulated nervous system because my mom was dysregulated.
Karyn Haley [00:38:06]:
Okay. That’s what I was gonna ask you. Is that a generational trauma thing or.
Jill Howell [00:38:10]:
She was, she was going through separation and divorce. I was not planned. It was a very stressful time and season of life for her.
Karyn Haley [00:38:21]:
And that energy you took on, that, doesn’t that just make complete sense? Right?
Jill Howell [00:38:26]:
And here’s the thing. You know, we talk about the body keeping the score on a cellular level. Our body is holding a lot of information, and we don’t realize to the extent that that’s true. But when you look at the markers of generational trauma, you can see that, you know, it takes one. One cycle breaker, though, just to break the cycle, like one person to start actually doing this emotional healing work to change the generational cycles so that your DNA, like the cells are, they shift. They change within us. They really literally do. And that’s what’s passed on.
Karyn Haley [00:39:14]:
So that’s what I think is really interesting about any kind of work like this, is that we aren’t the product of everything that’s happened generationally. We actually have the power change at the cellular level.
Jill Howell [00:39:30]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [00:39:31]:
Right. So, yeah, I find that really interesting. It just takes one person to say, I’m gonna break the cycle for the next generation. For me and for the next generation.
Jill Howell [00:39:40]:
Yeah, exactly. Because as moms, you work with a lot of moms. I work with a lot of moms. You know, we can get so dysregulated by our kids when they’re dysregulated. Right. If we don’t have the skills and the capacity to come back home to a place of peace and safety and ease and connection with ourself, if we don’t know how to do that, if somebody’s sitting here listening to this and they’re like, I don’t even know what that means. It means you need this work. It means that if you don’t know how to, there’s skills to learn.
Jill Howell [00:40:17]:
I like to keep it in that language because I think women feel a lot of shame for not knowing how to respond to their kids or respond to their own dysregulation. When we’re feeling something in a big way, and we don’t know what to do with it. I feel like there’s a lot of shame and guilt that keeps us stuck. Stuck in the mud.
Karyn Haley [00:40:36]:
Yeah. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Next, actually, is because, especially with the moms that I work with, shame, self criticism, it all goes along with having these chronic digestive disorders. It goes along with motherhood, whether you have that. And so how do you work with your clients to help them develop the self compassion, the self acceptance that they need? Like, if you could give me one or two key takeaways that somebody who maybe they don’t have access to this or they’ve never tried it before, what’s something that would be helpful for them to just start to bring the acceptance around, bring the self compassion around?
Jill Howell [00:41:24]:
So one of my really basic processes that I tried to get women to start doing immediately on their own, outside of my session times is to have an awareness of the activation that’s in their body. On a scale of one to ten, how activated am I? Ten would be. I’m extremely anxious, I’m extremely alarmed, I’m extremely overwhelmed, stressed, whatever words you want to put to it. I’m feeling something in an extreme way, but, like, gauging one to ten, where’s my activation right now? Dropping into the body and seeing, okay, is my body. Am I feeling panicked? Am I feeling, like I’m tense? Like, just noticing that and then putting a name to the emotions, what am I feeling? Right, once we label it and name it, and it’s just like, it’s not who I am. I am not depressed, but I may feel depressed, or I may feel anxious, or I may feel stomach issues happening right now. But this is where I say, I throw the diagnosis stuff kind of out for me. It’s like I’m not operating from a medical standpoint, but I’m like, okay, those things, we’re not defined by them anymore.
Jill Howell [00:42:44]:
A doctor might have put that label on you, and you may have these symptoms, but we’re not defined by them. So let’s just call out whatever is authentically happening in our body in this moment. I’m feeling really anxious, I’m feeling really scared, whatever the words are, putting words to it. And then this is where it’s more of a meditative practice, because I think we can get so caught up in our headspace that when our eyes are open, I feel like we’re very distracted people. So for me, it looks like teaching my clients to close their eyes, to connect with their body in some way, whether that’s a hand on their heart, two hands, hand on the heart and the stomach, and just connecting with, okay, what’s here, what am I feeling? What am I experiencing right in this moment? This is all that matters. This moment. Where am I at?
Karyn Haley [00:43:36]:
Yeah, yeah.
Jill Howell [00:43:37]:
And then we learn through practice how to compassionately respond to that. If somebody else was feeling that, what would you say to them? Right. It’s like. But I go from the somatic parts, work perspective. So how I function is very specific to, okay, like, how long has this energy been stuck here? How long has this emotion been here? When do you remember first feeling that way? Have you felt that way most of your life? Almost always. There’s an emotional chain link from what’s experienced in the present moment to something of the past.
Karyn Haley [00:44:17]:
And what you’re doing is by not coming at it through diagnoses and labels, I think that removes this ownership piece that we have. Like, I am celiac disease, I am chromosome, I have even I have anxiety, whatever. When you say those things to yourself, there’s such an ownership of it. That’s where I think that the shame and the self criticism comes in. But I like how you’re talking about it. They just are. And they just are part of you. And I’m feeling.
Karyn Haley [00:44:55]:
Feeling these things or thinking these things, but without label or judgment, I’m going to add that in because I’m sure it’s true. Right. And just inherent in that small shift, I really feel like that takes the shame and the self criticism part, the self ownership of it away.
Jill Howell [00:45:17]:
It does. And you know what? The next level of it is, because. Yes, you’re exactly right. This is. I am all about letting, like, let’s just turn off the shame alarm, right? Like, let’s just stop shaming yourselves. Because I shamed myself to the point where I didn’t want to live anymore. Like, I’m just gonna be honest. I created a lot more suffering for myself, and that.
Jill Howell [00:45:41]:
That is something that I’ve had to own. I had to face up to the reality of, okay, I was capable of doing that. I’m capable of doing the opposite, and I want to be doing the opposite. And so what I love about parts work, though, is that we’re connecting with these younger versions of us, and it’s so much easier to have compassion when I look at. And I have right here in my office, like, a picture of me when I was a little girl. Like, and I look at it regularly, oh, wow.
Karyn Haley [00:46:14]:
You know what? People listening that’s something you could do right now.
Jill Howell [00:46:17]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [00:46:17]:
You could go to your parents, you could go through your stack of photos, you could find that picture of your younger self.
Jill Howell [00:46:24]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [00:46:24]:
And put it somewhere. That’s something that people could do right now. Right today. Something that starts connecting with that. Yeah. Start connecting with that person you used to be. Tough person, like you say, right?
Jill Howell [00:46:38]:
Yeah. For me, she holds all the alarm, every bit of fear that was held in my stomach, she was holding that. So when I actually teach my clients to connect with her, and we are closed eyes because it’s just easier to see. We see to go in. Yeah, yeah. We see her and it’s like she was worthy of more than what she experienced in those moments. She was worthy of having somebody hold her and rock her. So let’s do that.
Jill Howell [00:47:11]:
Let’s just stop and let’s just hold and we rock her. And I take them through guided visualizations. Visualization is one of the number one ways that I help my clients rewire their brain and their body is through guided reconciliation with these younger parts.
Karyn Haley [00:47:30]:
Okay.
Jill Howell [00:47:31]:
I mean, the adult version, I just guided somebody recently who was stuck on this. She didn’t really even realize it until we went to the body and I asked her to connect. How old was this version of her? You know, what was this part? How long has her body been holding it? And she connected. And I said, where did you see her? And she saw her in an abandoned house, took her back to a trauma in a visual she couldn’t get rid of. And what we did was we actually connected with her. And the adult version of her came into the scene, gave this beautiful little girl everything she needed and removed her from the house.
Karyn Haley [00:48:12]:
Oh, wow.
Jill Howell [00:48:13]:
And took her to a place where she wanted to go. We actually communicate with these younger parts. And when you do it, it’s awkward at first to do it on your own. I always recommend doing it with somebody who’s guided, you know, like is trained and certified in that because it’s awkward and uncomfortable. We don’t really know how to start doing that. But once you learn it, it’s so simple and beautiful and rich. And I can offer this little girl, this little jill, you know, more compassion than I can the adult version of me. It’s so much simpler, right? To her first.
Karyn Haley [00:48:50]:
Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like from what you’re saying, that you feel like it’s best to find a trained practitioner first. It’s like, don’t try this at home. Like, try to find it because, you know, you might open a window to your soul or a door that you really just would have trouble on your own closing, it might be too much. So it sounds like what you’re saying is really try to find somebody who’s trained in this and work with them. And then probably in your sessions, you’re giving them things to do at home once they have the knowledge, the, the language, the experience in session. Does that sound about right?
Jill Howell [00:49:26]:
Yeah, except for I would say, you know, I know how to pull those out and lead my clients to those really heavier places. And I do think you’re right sometimes. I think the key is sometimes. Sometimes it could be too much. But more often than nothing, if something comes up when you’re not really skilled to go that deep with yourself, it’s something that’s come up multiple times before for you. I think that the key to all of it with parts work is just trying to respond with love and care and compassion, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. This is where the black and white trauma thinking happens of, like, so, for me, I don’t want people to feel like they couldn’t ever do it on their own unless they were guided. I think a guide can take it much deeper and can really dig into those places and help you go to those really, really deep places.
Jill Howell [00:50:35]:
But I think even on a. I hesitate to say superficial level, but on a more simpler. That’s the better word, a simpler level. If we’re, like, connecting with our body, the sensations, the emotions, expressing whatever’s really here, and then simply responding to them with compassion and kindness or just saying, oh, yeah, you know, I’ve felt that way since I was a kid. Like, even if we just have that simple of an understanding, it’s like, okay, well, like, just talk to that part, ask that part questions, well, what do you need from me today? That’s as simple as if we can keep it even. As simple as that. What do you need? Whatever part comes up, if it’s an angry part, if it’s an anxious part, if it’s a scared part, if it’s a sad part, just asking that part of you, like, what do you need from me right now? To feel safe, to feel supported, to feel cared for, to feel loved. If we can go back to those basic principles, like we are as moms to our own kids, of, like, what we’re trying to give to them, but actually give it to ourselves and say, and just ask this childlike part of us, what do you need, sweet girl? What do you need? Yeah, how can I help you? If we are truly embodied in that moment of, like, closing our eyes and connecting with ourselves and that part of us, that part will let us know all I need.
Karyn Haley [00:52:03]:
I love that.
Jill Howell [00:52:04]:
I just need you to affirm me. I just need to know that you’re not going to leave me. I just need you to listen. I just need patience. Like, a lot of times it’s very simple, actually.
Karyn Haley [00:52:20]:
Yeah, it sounds like. Really? Then anybody could do this by just finding a quiet place, getting quiet in your mind, closing your eyes, maybe putting your hand on your heart to connect to that home base and just asking your body, like, what do I need right now?
Jill Howell [00:52:37]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [00:52:38]:
Having that picture would be like the bonus to all of this, but they could start. That would be a beautiful starting place. Because even in the moment of doing that, you are calming the nervous system just by asking the question. You’re calming the nervous system just by pausing and breathing.
Jill Howell [00:52:57]:
Let’s stop there. Pausing and breathing. We are calming the nervous system already.
Karyn Haley [00:53:04]:
So that’s something you could really do anywhere. Even when you’re a busy mom. You’re in the carpool line, you’re washing dishes, you’re in the shower, you’re nursing. You can. I love that you could do that anywhere. Anywhere that you are in your busy life. You could do it even at that. I think you said simple level.
Karyn Haley [00:53:22]:
Even at that simple level. So you could even do it there.
Jill Howell [00:53:25]:
And the more we do that on micro levels, repeatedly, the more we start building a new relationship with ourselves. One where we’re not ignoring, bypassing, suppressing emotion. Where we’re actually being present with ourselves. What am I even feeling? A lot of us moms, we just meet, meet all the needs around us, and we don’t even stop and ask, where am I at? How am I? How am I even feeling?
Karyn Haley [00:53:54]:
We don’t.
Jill Howell [00:53:55]:
At all.
Karyn Haley [00:53:56]:
Yes. We don’t have needs where we don’t have needs. Right. It’s just. It’s just always on the back burner. I’ll get to that later. It’s not that we don’t know that we need to. It’s.
Karyn Haley [00:54:07]:
I will get to it later. I’ll get to it later. Because something is always more important.
Jill Howell [00:54:10]:
I will be honest. Both times when my nervous system was struggling the most and I had the most chronic symptoms of it was when I was focused, hyper focused on meeting other people’s needs and I was ignoring mine.
Karyn Haley [00:54:27]:
Yep, yep, yep. Yes. If you’re listening to this and feeling that way, and you have been ignoring it, ignoring it, ignoring it. This is your wake up call. This is the time. Now is the time. And just start really simple. You can just start really, really simple.
Jill Howell [00:54:42]:
And let’s add in the fact that this actually is good for the kids and your marriages.
Karyn Haley [00:54:48]:
Oh, I’m so glad you said that, Jen.
Jill Howell [00:54:49]:
Every relationship, this is my motivating force. When I’m working with a woman, I’m like, when you live from a regulated state within your nervous system, when you know how to emotionally regulate, when you feel big emotions and come back down to a state of ease, if you can guide yourself through the wave of being a human, then you can help guide your little ones through their own waves. You feel more resource and equipped with skills and tools and resources to help yourself. Well, guess what? Once you know that you get to teach that to your kids, break the cycles, then your grandkids could benefit from that. It’s like this beautiful gift of life. It’s a life transformational gift.
Karyn Haley [00:55:34]:
Yeah. And sometimes we have to sell it that way because moms don’t want to take the time for them. But look, if you do this for yourself, it is going to benefit your kids. And so often when I talk about food or a lifestyle or anything I talk about with my clients mind body, I always have to frame it that way. This is actually going to benefit your kids. When you take the time to do this for you, it will benefit your kids. And when it’s framed that way, then there’s nothing a mom isn’t going to do for her kids. So I love that you mentioned that.
Karyn Haley [00:56:05]:
Because sometimes we need that extra motivation to say it’s not just going to benefit me, it’s going to benefit my spouse, my father, my mother, my, you know, my brother, sisters. It’s, it’s like it’s going to benefit everybody. Because you can pass it on.
Jill Howell [00:56:18]:
Every single relationship. Every single relationship.
Karyn Haley [00:56:20]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jill Howell [00:56:22]:
Because the.
Karyn Haley [00:56:23]:
Oh, go ahead.
Jill Howell [00:56:24]:
I was gonna say, because we are modeling it. We’re showing in through modeling by doing for ourselves and that, and they were energetic beings. Our energy is felt. So we can, we have this opportunity to help our kids either co regulate with us or co dysregulate with us.
Karyn Haley [00:56:44]:
Oh, amen. Yes, exactly. So whether we know it or not.
Jill Howell [00:56:49]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [00:56:50]:
When we don’t deal with this, we’re passing it on.
Jill Howell [00:56:53]:
Yes.
Karyn Haley [00:56:53]:
We’re passing it on. Whether it’s in utero or by action, we’re passing it on. So we really owe it to not just ourselves, but to our kids.
Jill Howell [00:57:04]:
Yes.
Karyn Haley [00:57:05]:
Yeah, yeah. To just keep this positivity going. Hey, there. It’s Karyn popping into the episode. I want to thank you so much for tuning into the cheeky podcast for moms with IBD today. You know, the great information that we’re dishing out on this pod is exactly the same type of conversations I get to have with my clients every day. And if you’re ready to take your IBD healing journey to the next level and move into being the mom you always dreamed you’d be, then hop on over to karenhaley.com consult and book your free IBD consultation with me today. Remember, my mom had to be a little bit different and spell my name with a y.
Karyn Haley [00:57:47]:
So that’s karynhaley.com forward slash consult. Now, on our call, we will dive into what you’re struggling with most right now and make a plan for how we can work together to help you achieve your big, bold, beautiful, life transforming goals. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting for that miracle cure to magically happen. You’ve got what it takes to do this, mama. You just need a little nudge in the right direction, and I’ve got your back. Karynhaley.com consult and now back to the show. You know, so often on the podcast, we talk about really deep, difficult, complicated topics that when I like to wrap up an episode, I like to do a quick lightning round, if that’s okay with you. Sure.
Karyn Haley [00:58:42]:
Because it just kind of brings a little bit of levity, a little bit of joy to the end of it, and it will help people get to know you a little bit better, too. And I promise it’s not, it’s not a big quiz. It’s just simple questions, but it’ll be fun. Are you ready?
Jill Howell [00:58:55]:
Ready.
Karyn Haley [00:58:56]:
Okay, so ten questions. Okay. What is the supplement that you can’t live without?
Jill Howell [00:59:02]:
Probiotic.
Karyn Haley [00:59:04]:
Oh, yes. I love that one.
Jill Howell [00:59:07]:
But I do believe that it’s helped transform my inflammation issues and my ability to even have little cheat moments of gluten and dairy and. Yeah, yeah, probiotic, huge.
Karyn Haley [00:59:22]:
Yep. That microbiome, we have to keep that healthy.
Jill Howell [00:59:25]:
Yep.
Karyn Haley [00:59:25]:
Okay, so, so many people that I talk with have complicated issues, and they’re in doctor’s offices and things like that. And so there’s no better advocator than people who have chronic illnesses. So when you go to the doctor’s office, what’s the one thing that you do to make sure that you’re advocating for yourself?
Jill Howell [00:59:44]:
I’m very aware of my body. I’m very aware of the signals of my body, the sensations if I don’t feel at ease. I just recently had this, actually, and I switched doctors. I did not feel at ease in my body.
Karyn Haley [00:59:59]:
And, yeah, it’s just that intuition that so often I think women have, but they don’t listen to. So, yes, yes. When we’re uncomfortable in a situation, we have to listen to that.
Jill Howell [01:00:10]:
Yes.
Karyn Haley [01:00:10]:
That inner voice. Yes. I love that. What is your favorite type of mind body exercise? Something that anybody could even just do at home?
Jill Howell [01:00:19]:
My very favorite. It’s probably eft tapping, and that is something that anybody can learn. Google it. There is.
Karyn Haley [01:00:27]:
I was gonna say, what’s your favorite resource? Just google it.
Jill Howell [01:00:30]:
Yeah. EFT tapping is my very favorite.
Karyn Haley [01:00:34]:
Okay. Yep, yep. And that’s something you can do at home.
Jill Howell [01:00:37]:
It’s a power punch of physiological tapping on the body while also processing cognitively. And it gives me permission to just state wherever I’m at, what am I feeling? All the raw expressions that are within me. It gives me permission to just let it out.
Karyn Haley [01:00:53]:
Okay, cool.
Jill Howell [01:00:54]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [01:00:55]:
And what’s one thing that you do on a. It might be the same thing, but what’s one thing you do on a regular basis to connect with yourself? You know, like a self care hack that you do on a regular basis?
Jill Howell [01:01:06]:
You know, I would say that, but also, in the mornings, before I even get out of bed, I use that precious subconscious reprogramming time when my brain is in more of a theta state. And I actually try to envision how I want to show up for the day, how I want to feel, and I start to see it in my mind, and then I talk to myself and I encourage myself, and the parts of me that are showing up that kind of feel maybe hesitant or scared or, you know, something going into the day, I genuinely will just speak life over myself as I’m.
Karyn Haley [01:01:48]:
There’s that visualization that you mentioned earlier, that visualizing. I love that you do it in the morning, because that’s the time to do that.
Jill Howell [01:01:55]:
Right.
Karyn Haley [01:01:55]:
So really just set you up to have a positive day.
Jill Howell [01:01:58]:
I do it before I touch my phone. I do it before I get out of bed, actually, because that’s when my brain is still in that state where the cognitive processing hasn’t gone. Whoa.
Karyn Haley [01:02:09]:
Yeah. Right, right. All cylinders are not firing like this. Yeah. Okay, so what is one thing that you think most everybody gets wrong about somatic coaching?
Jill Howell [01:02:22]:
I just think that people are so caught up in their head overthinking things that feel like. Some people think that just by doing, say, yoga practices or the somatics, even though those somatic type practices and movements are part of what I’m doing, too, is that doing that is not, like, enough. You have to have the emotional connection piece, the self connection piece with yourself in doing any kind of movement practices in a really mindful way in order for them to be healing and restorative, longer term.
Karyn Haley [01:03:00]:
Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay, good to know. And when somebody says to you, do you have a good book recommendation? What is that one book that you go back to time and time again? That book that you just cannot get out of your head? And it could be self help in nature or it could be totally fluffy.
Jill Howell [01:03:16]:
What book? Oh, I’m going to grab it, so make sure I say, okay, cool. It’s right here it is. It’s a workbook that I started off with. It’s called the mindful self compassion workbook, and it’s by Kristen Neff and Christopher Germer.
Karyn Haley [01:03:35]:
We will put that in the show notes. Tell me about it. What’s in it?
Jill Howell [01:03:39]:
You know, the subtitle says it all. A proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive. And for me, it was. It was kind of just a good. I think it’s so meaningful to me because it was a hands on tool when I didn’t know how to connect to myself, to start this journey of offering myself kindness and compassion and being really empathetic and gentle towards myself. And it gives hands on practices and guides you through.
Karyn Haley [01:04:15]:
And so I love a good workbook because if you say, I want to do this, but I don’t know how to start, get a workbook, that’s the place to start, because it will give you the prompts. You don’t have to figure out what to do on your own. So I love that. Okay, we’ll put that in the show notes. Do you have a favorite travel destination?
Jill Howell [01:04:32]:
Destin, Florida.
Karyn Haley [01:04:35]:
Okay. Is it just because you love Destin, or do you have family there?
Jill Howell [01:04:38]:
Just because it’s the closest thing that we can drive to that’s not overwhelming. And the water there is like, the Caribbean sand is white. It’s just this place that, honestly, I’m more adventurous, and I like to go lots of different places, but it’s something I’ve begun to appreciate because my husband loves it there so much. And after we went there once, he wanted to go back again, and then he always wants to go there. That’s like. And he’s like, why would I want to go anywhere else when I feel so at peace when I’m here?
Karyn Haley [01:05:15]:
And you can’t argue with that.
Jill Howell [01:05:16]:
I know. Right. And so for me, it’s interesting because there’s this part of me that I’m like, well, why don’t we try somewhere new? And then I’m like, but I agree. Like, my soul feels at rest there. And I think probably because his does, too. So when the two of us go together, it’s a space of rest for us on a soul level.
Karyn Haley [01:05:36]:
I love that your favorite travel destination is all about relaxing and feeling wonderful at a soul level.
Jill Howell [01:05:42]:
And it’s hilarious, though, because we’re adventurers, too. We like to go to Colorado and hike mountains and stuff, too, but there’s just something special about that place.
Karyn Haley [01:05:50]:
Yeah. It sounds like you’ll probably always go back there. No matter where life takes you, you’ll go back there.
Jill Howell [01:05:55]:
And illegally. Illegally. We want our ashes thrown there.
Karyn Haley [01:05:59]:
Really?
Jill Howell [01:06:00]:
Not much.
Karyn Haley [01:06:02]:
Yeah. Wow. You know what? You are not the first person to say that. I bet. Because it’s so beautiful. I’ve been there. I have a good friend who lives there, and it’s so beautiful there. I bet you other people have that same wish.
Jill Howell [01:06:12]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [01:06:12]:
Yeah. Put their ashes there. Okay. Coffee, tea, and how do you take it? Coffee or tea? And how do you take it?
Jill Howell [01:06:18]:
So I alternate.
Karyn Haley [01:06:22]:
Okay.
Jill Howell [01:06:22]:
And so not always in a systematic way, but green tea with honey.
Karyn Haley [01:06:28]:
Love it.
Jill Howell [01:06:29]:
Or cold. And then coffee. If I honestly like half calf coffee, because I’m trying to just be really careful of the dysregulation that caffeine causes for my body. So. Yeah, yeah. And I usually do have creamer. I can’t do coffee black.
Karyn Haley [01:06:50]:
Yeah.
Jill Howell [01:06:50]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [01:06:51]:
Gotcha. Okay. What is your, what’s your favorite way to. You talked about what you like to do in the morning. So what do you like to do at night? What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?
Jill Howell [01:07:03]:
I do legs up the wall, so I literally lay on my back with my legs up the wall. And I like to pair it with either some meditative music, sound bath, or a meditation. And that’s my favorite.
Karyn Haley [01:07:21]:
I love that you take time for these things you’re giving by just talking about the things that you do, your morning routine, your evening routine. You’re giving permission to our listeners to say, yes, I can do that, too. Someone else is taking the time for it. I can do that, too. And I love that you just unapologetically say, this is what I do. I love it.
Jill Howell [01:07:43]:
And it can be three minutes, ladies. It doesn’t have to be a lot. It can be micro moments of just allowing ourselves to go, oh, yes.
Karyn Haley [01:07:54]:
And that’s the starting place. And then try and get longer and longer. But that would be your starting place. I love it. Okay, last question. So, the name of this podcast is the Cheeky podcast. And so to me, that means I being a little bit sassy, a little bit quirky, and a lot badass. So, how are you cheeky in your life?
Jill Howell [01:08:12]:
Oh, goodness. Honestly, I feel like even starting this coaching business for me was incredibly cheeky. For me, it’s badass in the sense that for a girl who’s felt like she had to hide all of her life and stay quiet and stay small, every time I show up and use my voice, even in this platform of, like, having a podcast with you, I am freaking doing it.
Karyn Haley [01:08:44]:
Yes. I wouldn’t see that in you at all. Like, I don’t know you, but you just showing up, like, you’re just, you know, like, I’m owning it. This is me. I love it.
Jill Howell [01:08:55]:
But I’ve had to come into that place. This is my part of my transformation, healing journey that, you know, even from the outside, though people might have seen the lively energy that there was, that piece was still part of me. However, there was always a part of me that was dying inside secretly and always fighting, like, to be seen and to share. I mean, really, sharing about healing work is not. It’s not easy. It is.
Karyn Haley [01:09:25]:
Yeah.
Jill Howell [01:09:27]:
I feel like I have to go to very vulnerable places oftentimes. To just even share the work that I’m doing on social media or with people. To use my voice in that way is probably the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever done. Yeah.
Karyn Haley [01:09:43]:
Yeah.
Jill Howell [01:09:43]:
Telling bits and pieces of my story. I think it’s badass that I do it because I cried so many tears in the journey of even a. Giving myself permission to follow this pursuit of knowing that what I discovered from my own healing journey is what I’m called to share with the world. And even if that means being misunderstood by my own family members.
Karyn Haley [01:10:10]:
Sucky, but often true, right?
Jill Howell [01:10:12]:
Yeah.
Karyn Haley [01:10:13]:
Yeah. Yes. But you’re helping so many people, and you’ve helped so many people today by joining us on the podcast. I want to thank you for that. So, if people want to find out more about you, if they’re interested in delving into your world, tell us, Jill, how can we connect with you?
Jill Howell [01:10:29]:
Yeah. So follow me on dancing in the mess on Instagram. That’s, like, my platform. My platform is all. It’s dancing in the mess. Everything I do is about dancing in the mess. Trying to find and seek joy and light in the messiness of our humanity. We are all humans and we’re all experiencing the mess of being human.
Jill Howell [01:10:52]:
So there’s that. Or my website, dancinginthemess.com.
Karyn Haley [01:10:56]:
Oh wonderful. Brilliant. Thank you so much for joining us today, Jill. It was such an honor to get to know you.
Jill Howell [01:11:02]:
Oh, you too. Thank you so much for having me. I so appreciate it.
Karyn Haley [01:11:13]:
If this podcast is meaningful for you, if it’s been helpful in your iPad CBD bomb life, I’d love it if you would do a couple things. First, follow the pod. You’ll never miss an episode. And those moms who are searching for podcasts about Crohn’s and colitis, they’ll find us easier. There’s probably a plus sign or a follow sign where you’re listening in right now. It’s at the top of your screen. Go ahead and give that a tap. And then also give the cheeky podcast a five star rating and review and share it with your friends who are also struggling with IBD.
Karyn Haley [01:11:47]:
The more we are open about talking about our illness and bringing awareness around it, the more we’re able to connect and build a safe community around each other. I love being in community with you and I appreciate you, my friend. One last thing before we wrap up today. You know, I think you’re a rock star for taking time out of your busy life to listen in and invest in your healing. It is capital h huge. And the reason I know how huge this is for you is because I am right there with you in all of this, working my wheel of wellness, keeping my crohn’s at bay. It’s something that I invest in every day and I’d love it if we could continue our gut healing journey together. If you’re like me and you’re ready to soak up even more amazing gut healing information, it’s time to join the gut love community karynhaley.com/
Karyn Haley [01:12:40]:
Community. The GLC is my free and fabulous space, dedicated to dishing out even more IBD resources, recipes, healing hacks, lots of bts, secrets on how I manage my life with IBD, all wrapped up in a weekly newsletter to help you keep your momentum going strong. This IBD dish is gut healing insights that I only share within our tight knit community. Basically, it’s your one stop shop for a more diversified approach to true and lasting gut healing. Amen to that, my friend. Let’s walk this gut healing journey together. Join me in the GLC at karynhaley.com. I can’t wait to meet you.