Dr. Andrea Lein On… The Intersection of Mental Health, Physical Health & Self-Compassion
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In this week’s episode of The Cheeky Podcast for Moms with IBD, we’re diving deep into the often-overlooked connection between mental health and physical healing. Our guest, Dr. Andrea Lein, is a distinguished clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience and a leading authority in the field of positive psychology. Dr. Andrea has dedicated her career to empowering high-achieving women (we know all of us IBD mamas fit into this category; ) to thrive by embracing holistic well-being, and today, she shares her invaluable insights with us.
Join us as we explore the critical differences between toxic positivity and true positive psychology, and how insight and patience with ourselves can change the way we approach our mental and physical health. Dr. Andrea sheds light on the impact of perfectionism, overachievement, stress, and anxiety on our overall well-being, and she offers practical advice on navigating the complex terrain of therapy versus coaching.
This episode is packed with powerful insights into how advocate for ourselves in simple, practical ways, and how to choose self-compassion over self-criticism, and ultimately, live a flourishing life—despite the challenges we all face living with IBD. Dr. Andrea’s personal story of overcoming her own health struggles through will inspire you to take a closer look at how you care for yourself and your family.
Tune in As We Talk About:
✅ [00:04:27] The key difference between toxic positivity and positive psychology.
✅ [00:16:17] How perfectionism, anxiety, and overachievement can lead to physical health challenges.
✅ [00:24:27] The blurred lines between therapy and coaching, and how to choose what’s right for you.
✅ [00:33:14] Why moms often wait until a crisis to seek help and how to break this pattern.
✅ [00:42:40] The connection between mental health struggles and physical ailments, and practical steps to break the cycle.
✅ [00:54:17] Dr. Andrea’s personal story of healing through self-compassion and how she embraced the power of saying “no.”
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Mentioned in the Episode:
>> The Ultimate IBD Diet Decoder Quiz
>> Join The Gut Love Community for Moms with IBD
>> Book Your FREE IBD Consultation with Karyn Today
Connect With Karyn:
Connect With Dr. Andrea:
Episode Transcript:
Karyn [00:00:00]:
Well, hey there, dear one. How you doing today? Whether you are tuning in while you’re driving, that’s my personal favorite for listening to podcasts. Or maybe you’re squeezing in some much needed me time or multitasking like the super mom I know that you are. I just want to tell you I’m glad that you’re here, especially for today, because I’ve got a treat for you. It’s an episode that dives deep into the world of mental health, positive psychology, and what it truly means to care for ourselves as moms. With IBD, that’s a topic that’s near and dear to my heart. How do we take care of ourselves along with this chronic illness by our side? And so we all know that living with Crohn’s or colitis, it can be quite a rollercoaster. Lots of ups and downs, not just for our bodies, but for our minds as well.
Karyn [00:00:54]:
And I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. In the 14 years that I’ve been doing this work, I have never met an IBD gal who didn’t deal with things like stress, perfectionism, overachievement and anxiety. On some level, it often goes hand in hand with managing our illness. But what if there was a way to approach mental health that didn’t focus on the negative, but it celebrated some of the positives? And that’s exactly what we are exploring today with my guest, doctor Andrea line. Now trust me, this isn’t about wishful thinking. You know, the kind of wishful thinking that comes when you say, let me just click my heels together three times and I’m just going to wish for a better life. Oh no, that’s not what we’re talking about. This is about embracing the whole enchilada of life, the good and the bad.
Karyn [00:01:53]:
Now let me just tell you a little bit about Doctor Andrea. She’s a clinical psychologist with over 25 years experience and she’s a leading authority in the topic of positive psychology. It’s a field that looks at the factors that help us live our best lives from a scientific perspective. She’s spent her career empowering high achieving women thrive, and today she is sharing her wisdom with us. In our conversation, Doctor Andrea and I, we talk about the critical difference between toxic positivity and true positive psychology. We dive into the ways perfectionism, overachievement, anxiety and stress can wreak havoc on both our mental and physical health. That’s something that hits home for so many of us with IBD. But that’s not all.
Karyn [00:02:48]:
Doctor Andrea also helps us navigate the often confusing landscape of therapy versus coaching. How often have you thought about, well, which one should I go for? And she’s going to offer many insights into that, into which might be better suited for you depending on where you’re at in your journey. And if you’ve ever felt like you need to be in a full blown crisis before seeking help, raise your hand if you can relate to that. And I’m over here raising my hand. Doctor Andrea’s wisdom on that. She has advice for us on why moms should seek help before hitting rock bottom, and her advice is stellar. It’s game changing. So you have to listen for that.
Karyn [00:03:33]:
I know that this conversation, it’s going to deeply resonate with you. I just can’t wait. I can’t wait for you to hear Doctor Andrea’s story, too. She talks about that. She has her own personal story, her own struggles with mental health that led to physical ailments and then how she ultimately found a path to healing. And she did it through self compassion and advocacy. Those are two topics that we all need reminders about to make them work for us. I know I do.
Karyn [00:04:03]:
This is such an important episode for all of us moms with IBD. So settle in, join me for a cup of tea, and get ready for a powerful conversation. This is a cant miss episode. Let’s dive in with Doctor Andrea line.
Karyn [00:04:27]:
Hey there, mama.
Karyn [00:04:28]:
Welcome to season two of the Cheeky podcast for Moms with IBD. I’m Karen Haley, functional IBD nutrition and wellness coach and Crone’s warrior. This podcast is all about us moms because our IBD plays by different rules. Season two is juicy, full of unconventional wisdom, real talk, new ways to tackle.
Karyn [00:04:49]:
Our illness, and a whole lot of community empowerment.
Karyn [00:04:53]:
And all of us advocating the hell.
Karyn [00:04:55]:
Out of our illness.
Karyn [00:04:56]:
We’re in this together and I’m here to help you find healing on your terms.
Karyn [00:05:01]:
Let’s do this. Doctor Andrea, welcome to the show. I’m so happy to have you with us.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:05:12]:
I’m so excited to be here with you guys.
Karyn [00:05:15]:
Well, I just listed your bio, and as you already know, there’s a lot of letters, there’s a lot of credentials after it, and they’re really impressive, by the way. And so we know you are very knowledgeable, you’re very educated. But I thought that we would just start with what do you do with all that amazing knowledge? What do you do in your practice?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:05:34]:
Well, currently, thank you, by the way, I like to say there are a lot of letters there but I am not all the letters after my name. I’m just a normal, regular person who, to my husband’s chagrin, stayed in school for a very long time. So finally out. And I used to work with families. The bulk of my career earlier on was working with very gifted, high achieving families who had children who were struggling in some way and helping their parents. And so I do still do a little bit of that, working primarily with the parents these days, but through my own journey over the last, I’d say about five years, and we’ll probably talk a little bit more about that later on. I have really wanted to shift my practice and focus more to taking what I. What I love and am passionate about in terms of positive psychology, which is sort of like the opposite end of clinical psychology, which is what my PhD is in.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:06:36]:
But I started the field of positive psychology, was birthed literally right as I was starting my clinical psych program. And so I was very excited, and it wasn’t really much of a field at all because it was literally just being born in the early two thousands. But I have integrated that into my work my entire career. So now I’m passionate about sort of integrating both the understanding of mental health issues with the science behind positive psychology, which is really just the science of human flourishing. And what are the circumstances, what are the factors that enable humans to live their best life from a scientific standpoint? Because a lot of those things might sound intuitive to us or we may have learned them in other places in our life growing up, maybe our parents told us, be grateful for what you have. And now I think it’s starting to seep into more of the mainstream. So I really love taking that and teaching and helping people use that to improve different parts of their life, whether it’s work life, family life, those sorts of things.
Karyn [00:07:49]:
Yeah, I agree with you. I think it is definitely becoming more mainstream, this idea of positive psychology. Right. It’s become so mainstream that it’s very now pop. It is in so many different places.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:08:01]:
Which is interesting to see. Yeah, it is very interesting, as someone who’s been in the field, but even mental health as a general topic of conversation has become much more mainstream than when most of us in this field, even ten years ago. I think with social media, with a new generation coming up and wanting to talk about these things, it’s a freedom that I don’t think I ever predicted to experience in my career as a psychologist. But it’s great. I love it.
Karyn [00:08:32]:
Yeah. So you see only positives. I find that interesting. I have children that are adults, two adults, and then I have a teenager, and it’s just so amazing to me how they. Their friends, social media, everybody around that generation, they’re so comfortable. I have anxiety. I have ADHD. I have even, like, borderline, like.
Karyn [00:08:52]:
I mean, I have a mental health background as well. My master’s is in counseling. And so, I mean, those kinds of things, like personality disorders, people are now like, yeah, me, I shout it from the rooftops. Isn’t that interesting? It’s so different from our youth.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:09:05]:
It’s very different. I mean, because when we were. I’ll just speak for myself. When I was in school, as a teenager, in high school, I don’t think I had ever heard of something like a personality disorder. It wasn’t until I got into my training, really, that I started to even understand what that was. So there’s just. Because the DSM was like a book that only clinicians had. There was no way to Google that, really, and find it.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:09:33]:
It wasn’t at our fingertips like it is for everyone these days. And it’s not just for mental illness. It’s with physical illnesses. Right, too. And so one of the downsides of that, and I have a daughter who’s in her mid twenties, so she falls into that category, too, where she will send me TikToks about this or that. And she’s like, mom, do you think I have this? And I’m like, honey, just because you heard it on TikTok does not make it true. I think there is. On the one hand, I love that there is so much more conversation around these things, and it doesn’t have to be hush hush.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:10:07]:
On the other hand, I still think there is discernment that needs to happen, and I feel very passionate also about individuals, but particularly young people, not identifying with a list of disorders. It’s okay if it helps them navigate life, certainly it’s great if it’s helpful, but sometimes, and I’ve worked with a lot of young people earlier in my career, if it starts to become their identity, it’s hard to break out from that.
Karyn [00:10:39]:
Yeah. Right. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, you’re right.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:10:41]:
So there’s a downside. Yeah.
Karyn [00:10:43]:
Yes. And I think sometimes things have to. The pendulum has to swing way to the other side for it to then come back to balance. And so I think that will happen, like what you’re talking about, it’s going to come back to balance. But I want to kind of dig into this idea of positive psychology, and especially as opposed to toxic positivity and just kind of think about, I know you said that you started into this field a long time before it was really what I would call in vogue. So I’m just kind of curious what brought that, but, you know, what brought you to that? Was it something in childhood, or did you just start school and say, wow, I’m just really passionate about this? How did you come to want to emphasize this part of psychology?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:11:29]:
That’s a great question. I don’t know if I’ve even really thought about that. I pursued clinical psychology because, honestly, I wanted to help people who were struggling. And what I knew at that point was that meant I needed to get my PhD in clinical psychology. Really. I mean, that was the basic thought behind it. There are other paths I could have taken, but that was the path that I took. And once I started, I remember reading the first.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:12:02]:
It was sort of Martin Seligman, who was the psychologist, who really, I think, coined the term in the field and sort of, you know, helped birth that field. He was the president of APA at the time, and I remember an article that he wrote in the APA. I think it was 2000 or 2001, but I just happened to come across it because I was a graduate student. I was just starting in psychology. It was APA, you know, so you’re reading all of the journals, and he cast this vision for a new field, and there was just something in me that intuitively thought, this makes a lot of sense. It’s one thing that the field of psychology had focused on understanding mental illness, and we needed to do that in order to help people who were struggling. But as a field, it was like we had forgotten. Well, what about on the other side? What about the positive side of humanity? How do we even begin to think about studying that? So no one had actually really studied it, at least in the frame of positive psychology.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:13:09]:
There were certainly other counseling models and humanistic psychology. It’s not as if no one had ever talked about those concepts before, but the field of psychology wanted to study it. How do we study happiness? How do we study? I remember one of my professors at Uva, who’s my favorite, Jonathan Haidt. I took a class with him, and he studied the psychology of moral emotions. It was fascinating to me. It was fascinating to me. And so I just. I don’t know, it was just something in me that was really drawn to that.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:13:45]:
And just to clarify, you know, when I. When I. I think it’s important, even though it’s coined positive psychology. So it’s like, oh, everything’s positive. Everything’s positive. Certainly it can go to the extreme when someone takes that as if that is the path. But really positive psychologists do not deny it’s not healthy to deny human pain. It’s just that in order to balance all of the focus on the negative, there was needing a place for science to show us, well, what contributes to the positive.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:14:20]:
And then how do we look at a person in the wholeness of humanity who suffers, who has pain, who has times and seasons of grief and depression and anxiety and all of the things, but also there are moments of happiness and joy and gratitude and serenity, and how do we just speak to all of that for a person? And in my clinical practice, it was important to me not just to do quote unquote, clinical, like traditional therapy, like addressing just the problem, because I think like holistic doctors, and I mean like holistic functional medicine doctors or integrative doctors who are treating the physical body. This concept of when we create environments of health that support health, then healthy the body can thrive within that versus just localizing and focusing on the diseased part of the body. Right. We just. We’re looking holistically. And I take the same idea for mental health. Rather than just focusing on the anxiety or focusing on the depressive symptoms, it’s how do you create a life where mental health springs forth? It just springs forth, and over time, it sort of pushes out the other stuff. If that makes sense, that makes it much sense.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:15:52]:
That’s the way I like to think about it.
Karyn [00:15:56]:
I love what you’re saying because like I mentioned that word, toxic positivity a few minutes ago, it doesn’t focus on, oh, you know, if you’re down, you just need to. Positive, positive, positive. Right. It’s how can we crowd out, which is kind of a term we use in nutrition as well as food, but like, how can we.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:16:17]:
It’s a similar concept. Yeah.
Karyn [00:16:18]:
So that the positive can rise. We’re not going to ignore the negative. We’re going to deal with the negative so that the positive can be the greater emotion that you feel. It kind of makes me think about. So on the surface, it might seem like the work that you do and the work that I do is so different because I work with moms who have IBD, Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. And in my coaching practice, I tend to see this kind of thing all the time, which is why I wanted to have you on. So trying to figure out, you know, how we can work through some of those negatives. And I also work with.
Karyn [00:16:57]:
I know something else you have worked with in your career is high achieving women. And that’s something that I also find. It’s weird. I’ve been doing this since 2010, but I find that people with Crohn’s and colitis, they’re also high achieving women perfectionists, trying to be the best mom, the best worker, the best spouse, you know, just trying to do all the things. And so for a long time, I struggled with how to bring the positive in when there’s so much negative without it being the toxic side of that. But they really do struggle with, you know, because they’re so high achieving, because they put so much pressure on themselves. They do struggle with stress. They do struggle with anxiety, depression and all of that.
Karyn [00:17:44]:
And so I guess my question is, like, in terms of the physical realm, I know you work with the mental health realm, but, you know, what kind of advice do you have for bringing in that positivity and bringing in this new way of thinking when their health concerns are all encompassing, this high achieving, perfectionistic, this anxiety, stress is all encompassing. So, yeah, how do you go about that?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:18:10]:
So I will answer that in a moment. But the first image that comes to mind, and we’re talking about the body, it’s like if someone has a broken leg, right, or some other very acute issue, you can’t ignore the broken leg. You can’t just say, well, just walk on it. Just keep walking on it. Right. You have to go through a healing process. But at the same time, if you’re working with what I would call a more enlightened doctor, they’re not going to ignore the other parts of your. Of what can help nourish and strengthen the body.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:18:50]:
Like, so, make sure you’re eating really nutritious foods that are going to help strengthen you from the inside out and help with the healing in your leg. Make sure you’re doing some kind of movement or, or other things. Right. It’s looking. Maybe there’s supplements to take to support the body as a whole while also doing whatever you need to do with the broken leg to get it to heal and then, you know, do physical therapy or whatever you need to do. So it’s, it’s both and not either or. So I think when working with someone who is struggling with depression, perfectionism, anxiety, stress, all, all the stuff. And I didn’t mention, but my expertise, in addition to getting the PhD in clinical psychology, was really understanding the psychological, social and emotional development of gifted people who tend to be the ones who are high achieving women right.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:19:47]:
Particularly. And so there are some specifics there that just make. It’s just important to understand. It’s just a part of the self awareness of someone. I would say that even as a coach, when it’s not ignoring that they’re struggling with depression or anxiety or perfectionism, and there’s a place for. Sometimes I work with people and they might, even if I’m not doing, quote unquote, because I do mostly coaching these days. But if I’m not doing sort of traditional therapy, for example, someone might need, and I will tell them this, there might be some trauma, fully healed, right? This is like the broken leg. So you can do the coaching, you can do, you can.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:20:33]:
We can be working on some other areas that are going to support mental health, support well being, support the flourishing. But there might still be some space and time that needs to be devoted to really getting to that root cause, which may be something from their childhood that hasn’t really been fully resolved, but sometimes, so having said that, that could be true. And then sometimes they don’t necessarily need that. So sometimes I think people get stuck in, I have to be in therapy, and I need to be in therapy for before I can start shifting my gaze over to these other areas. And because I’ve done both therapy and coaching, it’s not like always clear cut. But I would say sometimes people actually do much better. It sort of depends on the person, sort of depends on the situation where coaching is the right fit for them and it’s more forward thinking and it’s more future oriented and it is more action oriented and they may heal that way, honestly, without focusing so much on whatever the issue is, the acute issue. So again, someone has to sort of sort that out for themselves and with whoever they’re working with.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:21:45]:
But I think that there’s like some blurry lines in between the coaching and the therapy sometimes.
Karyn [00:21:53]:
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Karyn [00:22:47]:
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Karyn [00:23:42]:
Answer a few simple questions and get your personalized quiz results immediately. Now let’s get back to the show you brought up.
Karyn [00:23:50]:
I don’t even know where to go with this because you brought up so many things that my head is like, oh, I could go here, I could go there. But something that you just said really caught my attention about the difference between therapy and coaching. So I know that there, you know, most of the time when I work with somebody, here’s how I see it. You know, it’s like your broken leg analogy. They’re coming to me with inflammatory bowel disease, but there are so many offshoots of that that are impacting them both physical and mental. And so often we have that conversation where I don’t. I mean, even though I have a master’s in counseling, I don’t function as a therapist. I’m a coach.
Karyn [00:24:27]:
So we’ll have that conversation where I say, do you think that therapy might be beneficial for you? But it’s interesting that you’re talking about coaching versus therapy. So I just want to make sure I understand you correctly. If you feel like there is a clinical diagnosis, something that’s more acute, you can completely correct me if I’m wrong here. You might recommend therapy more, but if it’s more generalized or it’s a piece of a larger system, you might recommend. Just because I know people are listening and thinking, what path should I go down? You would recommend coaching. Do I understand that right?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:25:05]:
Again, it’s so individualized. So this answer probably isn’t going to be that satisfying. I think when someone is acutely, very clearly acutely struggling with some kind of mental health issue, whether it’s depression, on the level of I cannot get out of bed, I cannot function, I’m having maybe suicidal thoughts, you know, on that level, coaching is not appropriate for that. For that. So I’m very clear in the work that I do today that if someone is struggling on that level, I may not be in the coaching frame, the person to see for that. And it does need that is a level of severity. So part of it is like the severity level, same thing with anxiety. I’ve had some people come to me that wanted to work with me recently and they might have, for example, like a social phobia or what we call agoraphobia, where they can’t leave the house, they can’t leave the house, they can’t get in the car, drive somewhere there.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:26:12]:
And because I’m a clinical psychologist by training, I know there are some really great evidence based treatments that target that exact issue and are very effective. Coaching is for a different thing. Right. So there’s the part of the severity. Now there are some people, though, I’ve had even family members and friends come to me and say, I’m sort of want, I’m struggling with a little bit of this. Maybe it’s some insecurity, maybe it’s a little even, you know, some identity issues that could be dealt with in therapy, but they’re not, they’re not functioning in life. They’re functioning fine in life, right?
Karyn [00:26:55]:
Yeah.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:26:55]:
I say to them, interview some therapists, interview some coaches, because the most important piece is, do you feel comfortable working with this person? Do you click? Because the relationship is really what’s most important. And we ask questions about the way they work and what they’re focused on and see what feels like the right fit for you. Because for that sort of in between place, like, I had a family member recently, I told her that. And she interviewed some therapist and met with them a couple times, interviewed a coach and she ended up loving the coach. And she said to me, I’m so glad I wouldn’t have even thought about working with a coach. I just thought I’d look for a therapist. But the coach, she said, was it was so much more for her and what she was dealing with, so much more effective. She was making progress.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:27:46]:
And so she ended up kind of, you know, wrapping things up with the therapist and just working with the coach. So when you’re kind of in that in between place, and you’re functioning relatively okay. And again, everything’s individualized. So I don’t want anyone to take away from this and say, I don’t need therapy. If you feel like you want to work with a therapist and that’s the route you want to go, and you want to talk, talk about more things in the past and unravel some things, by all means. You don’t have to wait till things are really severe to go see a therapist because they can help you with that. But it’s just a little bit of, I think, for me, in my style, and after doing very intensive trauma work for most of my career, for me, this is part of my own self care at this stage of my life, I decided I wanted to focus on the coaching and the positive psychology piece of it. That was really more for me than anything else.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:28:39]:
And I may go back to doing more traditional clinical work at some point, but at this stage, I’m happy. Yeah, I’m happy doing the coaching.
Karyn [00:28:46]:
You said a couple things there that really resonated with me, something that I always tell people, especially when I work with people, and I know that mental health is getting in the way of them living their best life, I’ll say, you know, have you tried therapy? And they’ll say, yes, and I hated it. It was terrible. The therapist was awful. And you said, interview. Whether it’s a coach, whether it’s a therapist, you. You have the power to interview them. I think that’s something that so many people, they just don’t. I don’t know.
Karyn [00:29:16]:
They don’t.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:29:16]:
They don’t know.
Karyn [00:29:17]:
They don’t know that they can.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:29:18]:
They don’t know.
Karyn [00:29:19]:
You can actually. You know what? You can actually interview your doctor, too.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:29:22]:
Absolutely, I do.
Karyn [00:29:24]:
When I’m a doctor.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:29:25]:
That’s right.
Karyn [00:29:26]:
You can interview your therapist. In fact, yes. You have that, you know, advocate for yourself. Be the one who’s in charge. They’re not in charge. You are in charge. They are a consultant, and they are very wise, but you’re in charge. So you didn’t like that therapy experience.
Karyn [00:29:42]:
That doesn’t mean that you don’t like therapy. That just means you didn’t like that person. So go interview a couple more people. I love that you are just saying, I am a therapist, and I give permission for people to do that.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:29:55]:
I say it to every single person that comes to me saying they think they want to see a therapist or coach. I say this, I say, go and talk to if you can. Now I recognize we’re in a sort of mental health crisis. And the waiting list can be very long, depending on your insurance or where you are. So I understand sometimes that’s a privilege that we don’t have. But if you can, I say at least two people, because it’s like going into a coffee shop and sitting next to someone and chatting with a random stranger and saying, oh, I didn’t like that person, so I’m not going to make friends with anyone. I mean, that doesn’t make any sense because, you know, there are a lot of different kinds of people in the world, and not every therapist. Every therapist uses their own personality.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:30:44]:
What makes them uniquely them, in the healing process, in the therapeutic process, whether that therapist is half asian like me. I mean, I’ve worked with a lot of clients who are asian or multiracial, and there’s something about working with me because they understand that even if it’s not even true, that they assume because I have a similar background, I might have a little more understanding, empathy. And sometimes that is, you may have a lived experience.
Karyn [00:31:16]:
Exactly.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:31:16]:
Some people, if you’re a man, maybe you want a male therapist, or maybe for some reason you want a female. Right? So it’s just. Just don’t try it once and then say, oh, I hated it. I mean, you can say that, but just try again as much.
Karyn [00:31:32]:
Try again. That’s what I always say.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:31:34]:
Try again.
Karyn [00:31:35]:
Because every therapist is so different. And I know for me, in my coaching practice, people will come to me because they know, unlike their doctor or somebody else, a nurse, and unlike another nutritionist that they’ve seen, I actually have walked that path. I have Crohn’s disease. So connecting with somebody who’s been there, done that, it’s so powerful in whatever it is, whether it’s therapy, a medical practitioner, a coach, whatever it is. And then I just wanted to mention one other thing. You said. You said you were talking about agoraphobia and how if you really cannot leave your house, there’s wonderful, clinically proven techniques that probably a therapist would be really helpful for. In my practice, a lot of times I see people who won’t leave their house because they don’t know where the nearest bathroom is.
Karyn [00:32:22]:
It’s not a true agoraphobia, right. But they don’t. They’re afraid to leave their house because they don’t know what’s going to happen. Now, that might be something because it’s more of a mindset shift. That might be something to see a coach for rather than a therapist, because it’s not a clinical diagnosis.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:32:38]:
Exactly. Exactly.
Karyn [00:32:39]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I want to shift gears just a little bit here and hone in on moms, especially moms who are neglecting their physical and mental health, because I see this all the time, and I know I see you say, you know what I’m talking about. I know it seems like moms, especially women, yes. But moms especially, we have to be hospital bound. Right? It’s like we self sabotage until things are that bad. And so my question for you is, why? Why do we do this?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:33:14]:
Why do we do that?
Karyn [00:33:15]:
Why?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:33:16]:
And I’m smiling and nodding my head because I literally lived that life. I mean, it took a health crisis for me, which has been multiple years now, of me on my healing journey, not just for the physical, but for the underlying reasons that led me to that place, which was being a mom and not just being a mom and a high achieving mom and a perfectionistic mom. But I was also a single mom for most of my momming. And so it all did fall on me. It literally all did fall on me. But most moms, even if you have a partner, let’s just be real. And it’s. I mean, the stats show it, even though our, the men, and obviously there are moms who have partners who are women as well, so I’m not gendering it.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:34:09]:
It’s just women tend to bear the burden, the mental burden. Even if you’re working full time, you’re still feeling like I’m the person that’s got to take care of the household. I’m the person who’s got to make sure the kids have their lunches and they’re to bed and they’re doing their homework and all the things. And again, even if you have a really supportive partner who is helping in some way with that, I think we are socially, we are socially brought up, and I think we’re also wired. Both.
Karyn [00:34:45]:
Good point.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:34:45]:
To tend. We are wired. I mean, for the species to continue, moms needed to be particularly thoughtful and caring for offspring. Right. Or we would all probably die out because the men were out being warriors or fighting, you know, getting the food or whatever. Right, exactly. So from an evolutionary perspective, but I think from a cultural perspective, I think we all know and can think of, I was the oldest daughter of four, and there were just certain expectations clearly made of me and my family that was not true of my brothers. And it just, it’s just, it’s just the fact of the matter.
Karyn [00:35:34]:
Are you saying you’re the oldest and the only girl?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:35:37]:
I have a. I have a sister who’s the baby of the family.
Karyn [00:35:40]:
Gotcha. So there’s two boys in the middle.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:35:42]:
Two boys in the middle.
Karyn [00:35:43]:
Different expectations.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:35:44]:
Different expectations. Different expectations. And I would say that it’s interesting because my sister and I are very close, even though we’re almost a decade apart and I grew up. You know, I would be curious with your audience and the perfectionistic moms, how many of them can identify with being the oldest, even if you’re not the oldest child, the oldest female child.
Karyn [00:36:09]:
Ooh. Right.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:36:11]:
Because as an oldest female child, we and you, I see it in families around me all the time. And parents don’t mean to. There’s no bad intent in this, but I see it all the time, that the daughters are, like, being mommy’s helpers in all these different ways. And they want to be and they’re like, because they’re wired and they’re reinforced for that behavior where the boys maybe not so much, and maybe there’s always exceptions to the rule, but maybe not so much. So my sister, she did not grow up with this same feeling of responsibility, of perfectionism. Like, she and I have a lot in common, but those things are not, we do not share.
Karyn [00:36:57]:
Yeah. I grew up in the same household.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:37:00]:
We grew up in the same household.
Karyn [00:37:01]:
Different experience. And the pressure that you felt, she did not feel.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:37:05]:
That’s right.
Karyn [00:37:06]:
Yeah. Interesting.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:37:07]:
So part of it is that I think it also happens. It definitely happens in schools. We’re just. The culture shapes us to be. I can. I’ll speak for myself. I was reinforced for being responsible, obedient, compliant, a happy little girl that wanted to help the teacher. Like, I ate it up.
Karyn [00:37:31]:
Right?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:37:32]:
Give me that. This feels really, really good.
Karyn [00:37:35]:
That’s interesting. That’s interesting because we actually get praise for it and then we want to do it more.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:37:42]:
It feels really good.
Karyn [00:37:44]:
Right?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:37:44]:
We get praised. We get praised. And this is what I mean, there’s no one thought back then. Now, since then, we have some other research, right? Like Carol Dweck’s work and mindset. Like parents today, at least the parents who are aware of this more recent research are more thoughtful, I think, about how and when, but really how they praise their child.
Karyn [00:38:07]:
Right?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:38:08]:
But back when I was young, someone said, you did a great job. Like, oh, you’re so pretty or you’re so smart, or you’re so this or that, and it just feels good. Right? I mean, of course it does.
Karyn [00:38:19]:
Of course you’re going to lean into it.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:38:20]:
Of course you want to keep doing more of what feels good. So what I have said for myself and what I say now to all the women who carry this similar burden is I was just at a women’s leadership conference a few weeks ago, and it was a whole room full of women like this. We were talking about confidence, particularly, especially as compared to men. But I said, you know, instead of beating ourselves up for struggling with perfectionism or struggling with fill in the blank, all of these things, we beat ourselves up. It’s just another level of punishment rather than let’s have some self compassion. We didn’t choose the path, the environments in which we were raised and were shaped. We were shaped to be this way. And I’m not saying that to take the responsibility off of us to learn and do something new, but it was not helpful for me to notice my perfectionistic ways, to notice how I was striving and striving and striving and exhausting myself and putting everyone ahead of me and then wondering why I was burning out.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:39:31]:
It didn’t help to heap on top of all of that judgment. It didn’t help. So it’s just saying, okay, I notice it. I struggle with these thoughts. I struggle with everything having to be a particular way, or I struggle with whether it’s the house being a certain way. Like I need to have a perfectly clean house. That for some people, I mean, I can relate with that for other people. It’s how I look and how my body looks, or my career and how I’m showing up every day at work, or all of the above, or how.
Karyn [00:40:02]:
Do I look to the outside world?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:40:04]:
Right? How do I look to the outside world? How do my children look to the outside world? Everything extension of that.
Karyn [00:40:10]:
They’re an extension of me.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:40:11]:
They’re an extension. So if they’re not looking a certain way, then what does that say about me?
Karyn [00:40:16]:
Exactly.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:40:16]:
So the first step is we can notice that, and then right after that is a big, big heaping dose of self compassion. Because that is the only way we can then make movement towards sustainable change. Because if we try to change, whether it’s through coaching or therapy, if we start to try to change that from a place of, I’m so horrible for being this way. I mean, what’s wrong with me? Not everyone’s like this. What’s wrong with me? How come I’m like this? If we just try to change from that place, we’re already starting off in this. It’s just this negative. It’s a negativity, right? You might be able to make some progress from that place, but it’s not going to be sustainable, and it’s not going to come from a place of acceptance and love for yourself. And when I.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:41:07]:
It is helpful for me. I used to do this even as a therapist, working with some challenging clients. Quite honestly, I would imagine them as little children, and I would imagine them in the environments, even if I didn’t fully know what that was. I would just imagine what kind of environment shaped them to have the kinds of challenges. So I do that for myself. What. I look at the environment, I know what the environment was, and I look at that and I say, okay, it shaped me to be this way. And, you know, I could feel a little emotional talking about it.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:41:42]:
It’s okay. Like. And it served me well that. All that, like, getting the straight A’s. And I wouldn’t have gotten a PhD at the University of Virginia if I hadn’t gotten straight A’s, right. So I have compassion for that part of me that felt the need to do all of that. And now, at this stage of my life, thank goodness, I can have the maturity and wisdom to say, take a deep breath. You don’t have to keep doing that like that.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:42:09]:
It’s okay. Yes, it’s okay. But that’s a process, and it doesn’t, you know, you think also the years it took to get to this place. So whether your listener right now is 25 or 33 or 48 or whatever the age is, it took decades to get your mind into this, these ruts, right? These ways, these patterns of thinking. And it’s not going to be, you know, a two month process to. Right.
Karyn [00:42:40]:
It took a long time to get here, and it’s going to take a long time to heal. And insight is that first step. But then comes the healing. And like you said, yeah, patience. And what I see happening with this in my practice is the whole mental side of it impacting the physical.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:42:59]:
Yes.
Karyn [00:43:00]:
If you don’t deal with it at some point. Earlier on, you talked about trauma. And so sometimes there’s childhood trauma that isn’t dealt with the pressures that get put on women. Self inflicted sometimes. Sometimes societal. I was just reading this article. It was talking about this concept of. Of self silencing women.
Karyn [00:43:22]:
And that’s just what you were talking about. Women who are suppressing their thoughts, their emotions, suppressing anger, not able to say no, the gene that you can only be selfless, you cannot be selfish. Right. All of this. And it was talking about the link between the mental health and the physical side of this. In fact, I want to actually, I want to give you a quote from it, because I found this so interesting. So it’s talking about how the mental side of this leads to physical challenges. And it said that women are at a higher risk of insomnia, IB’s, migraines, long Covid, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and women account for over 80% of all autoimmune disorders.
Karyn [00:44:03]:
And then on the mental health side of this, with this self silencing as well, it talks about how women experience depression, anxiety, PTSD at twice the rate of men.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:44:16]:
Yes.
Karyn [00:44:17]:
Crazy, right? So, I mean, that’s a lot. And so when the physic, when the mental comes into the physical realm, and a lot of times, you know, it’s hard to know with IBD, is it the chicken or the egg? I don’t.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:44:31]:
I think with a lot of these issues, I think, yes, it’s a lot of physical.
Karyn [00:44:34]:
It’s not just this one, but anything physical. You don’t know. And you know what? It really doesn’t matter, but it. At some point we have to figure out the mental to help the physical. So how do we begin to then break this cycle apart from just patience and insight? What are some more practical logistical steps that we can take so that we can then have a kind of a physical release from symptoms that are happening?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:45:03]:
Right. Right. Well, I think, and this is going to be a very sort of. I’m going to make a big generalization or like a simplification, I should say, of how I see it when we grow up, whether it’s adverse childhood experiences or more serious trauma. I mean, adverse child experiences are traumatic, but, you know, there is stress in the home. All the things that we just talked about, even if you had a near perfect childhood home, if your parents were praising you and you got stuck in that loop and then you were a good girl in school and all of that stuff, there is pressure and stress, even if you. No one meant to put that on you, right? But we carried that through. So there is definitely a link, and we have more and more research, that mind body connection of the sustained stressors in childhood catching up with us over time and those autoimmune issues, chronic illness of all sorts.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:46:03]:
And so if we think about that as just again, generally speaking, stress, stress in the body. One of the things, and again, I practice, but I preach, is what can we do in the body to create an atmosphere of peace for our minds. But it’s. But it starts in the body because our mind, it’s all in, I say your mind is, it lives there in your body.
Karyn [00:46:34]:
Right. So it’s not separate.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:46:36]:
It’s not separate. And actually, if anyone’s watching the video of this, I’m putting my hands on my head. But truly, if you could see me, my hand on my gut, on my belly is where most of the neurochemicals and neurotransmitters that affect our mental health are created, 90, 90% of them. Right, so. Right. So especially with issues of digestion. Right, exactly. With gut health, it mindfulness, whether you want to call it mindfulness, I sometimes call it practicing presence.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:47:15]:
It is important. And I had to start this. I started my own mindfulness practice. Honestly, it was probably in 2000, because I started learning dialectical behavior therapy and before that, which is very common now, but at the time was still a relatively new therapy. And in order to do DBT, we had to, as a team, practice it ourselves. So I was introduced to the concept of mindfulness and using meditation as one avenue of practicing mindfulness. But I started practicing mindfulness, and I was in my late twenties, and I’ve been teaching it ever since. And I practice it because the only way we can calm our nerve, I shouldn’t say the only way.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:48:04]:
One of the ways to calm our nervous system is to be practicing that. But it’s. But exercise. I love doing long walks. I just did this morning. I did like a really beautiful, it was my bar class, but it was a little bit more, it was like a slower pace, you know, an alignment class. It was a more restorative and it was just, it’s just such a beautiful feeling when you can be in your body and it feels peaceful, like it’s your home. And so I think for anyone struggling with IBD or Crohn’s or.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:48:37]:
Again, I’ve had my own health issues with chronic pain. For other issues, it can be hard when your body is like, giving you all these messages of, like, pay attention to me, pay attention to me. And so you do have to pay attention, but you have to sort of give it the piece it needs. So I think that’s one very practical piece is using different techniques to bring peace and calm to the body. That’s one thing. And then the other way we can do it from the mental realm. Sometimes you can do this in coaching, sometimes you can do it in therapy. And sometimes, quite honestly, if people are motivated enough, you can read a good book, you can listen to some podcasts, and you can practice it on your own.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:49:19]:
But it’s just being, it’s like disciplining your own mind, right? Like, I was going to say, being the parent, being the parent of your, of your mind.
Karyn [00:49:29]:
Interesting.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:49:29]:
Telling it when it’s misbehaving and telling it. It’s time to get back in line. Right. So oftentimes we like, just let our minds go wild.
Karyn [00:49:41]:
Oh, my gosh. Mind will do that. You just run wild with thoughts.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:49:45]:
Totally.
Karyn [00:49:46]:
And read it in is so hard. I never thought about being a parent in my own mind.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:49:50]:
If you had a child and you were in a public place or at a friend’s house and they were running around wild, most responsible parents would not allow that to continue happening. You would do something to rein that child in. Why? Because you hate your child? No, because you love your child and you know that by doing that, you’re protecting them. You’re helping with the atmosphere, you’re teaching your child regulation. So coping skills. It’s a responsible thing to parent your childhood. It’s a responsible thing for us to learn how to parent our minds. I put it that way especially for the moms listening because I think you can get it.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:50:28]:
It’s like, no, no, no. And for so long in my life, I didn’t know that. I didn’t realize I hadn’t been parenting, disciplining my mind. And so it ran rampant and it drove me to places emotionally and mentally that were not good for me. Until I finally woke up one day and I was like, wait, why am I to, why am I letting my mind control the show? Like, this is ridiculous, I would never allow it somewhere else. So again, that takes practice. But there are ways. You just have to set the intention one, I’m not going to let my mind just do whatever it wants.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:51:05]:
I’m going to rein it in. So when I start having those thoughts that are not helpful and that starts spiraling me down, I’m going to catch it. I’m going to catch it and say, uh uh, no, we’re not doing that. And there and then sometimes it’s distraction. Like, think about literally when you’re parenting, if you have a toddler, you’re not going to explain certain things to a toddler in the same way you might be able to for an eight year old, but you might use distraction. You might do a silly thing, right? It’s the same thing.
Karyn [00:51:37]:
I mean, we were arranging in our toddler brain.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:51:39]:
Yes, if you have a toddler brain. I mean, sometimes with me, I’m like, oh, my gosh, I think my brain is like, in Toddler mode right now and I will just do something in that moment that will be distracting. I might turn on music that’s really upbeat, happy, maybe silly. Do something fun, you know, watch something funny. Get together with a friend. Makes me laugh. Like you might say, well, that, you know, that’s kind of weird. Like, you’re just distracting yourself.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:52:04]:
It’s not. I’m not. What I’m not saying is, like, distract for your whole life. What I’m saying is you’re finding ways to rein your mind back in so that you, when it needs it, so you feel I have authority over my mind.
Karyn [00:52:23]:
Yes.
Karyn [00:52:23]:
I love that word you used, authority. Because the whole time you’re thinking, I’ve never thought of this before, ever, and I really need this. So I’m gonna do this technique on myself. But what I was thinking is, yes, you’re giving yourself authority.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:52:35]:
Yes.
Karyn [00:52:36]:
Back to what we were talking about at the top of the podcast is about agency advocacy. Now you’re advocating for yourself in your own mind.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:52:44]:
In your own mind. You can do it anytime.
Karyn [00:52:46]:
That’s brilliant.
Karyn [00:52:50]:
Thanks so much for tuning into the cheeky podcast for moms with IBD today. The great information we’re dishing out on this pod is exactly the same type of conversations I get to have with my clients every day. If you’re ready to take your IBD healing journey to the next level and move into being the mom you always dreamed you’d be, hop on over to karenhaley.com consult and book your free IBD consultation with me. Remember, my mom had to be a little bit different and spell my name with a y. So it’s karynhaley.com consult. On our call, we’ll dive into what you’re struggling with most right now and make a plan for how we can work together to help you achieve your biggest, bold, beautiful, life transforming goals. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting for that miracle cure to magically happen. You’ve got what it takes to do this right now, mama.
Karyn [00:53:46]:
You just need a little nudge in that right direction, and I’ve got your back. Karenhaley.com consult and now back to the show.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:53:55]:
Yes, you can do it anytime.
Karyn [00:53:56]:
Doctor Andrea, you mentioned that you have been going through chronic illness, a surgery, pain, things like that. So you’re not just a clinician and a coach. You’re somebody who has walked this path. You have lived it yourself. Can you share with us some, you know, some news about your journey and what that was like and how you’ve been able to overcome?
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:54:17]:
Yeah, yeah. Just briefly, I’ll say. And also for your listeners just context. I came from a family, particularly with women who struggled severely with mental health issues. So when I was a teenager, I sort of just assumed as a teenager I struggled with severe depression, anxiety, I was suicidal. So that was sort of like the darkest time of my life. It gave birth to me. That was another reason why I went into this field, because I saw other people in my family struggle.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:54:51]:
I started struggling and I thought, I have to figure this out. Like, it shouldn’t have to be like my destiny, right? Like, I don’t want this to be my destiny, but I had been sort of, I believe this idea that if it was in your family, it was like, genetic and therefore you were kind of doomed to a life of whatever, right? And so I went on this journey for myself. And I’m really happy to say that in terms of the mental health issues, I reached that really low part at that stage of my life. And it’s been like, not like a perfectly straight line, but, you know, generally up increasing mental health journey for me ever since. Mainly because I made the decision I’m not going to allow myself, I can’t allow myself to get back to that place that I was. And so even in hard seasons of my life, I parented my mind, if I’ll put it that way, in terms of the physical piece, I was diagnosed more than ten years ago now with fibroids and endometriosis and all of these other things that over the years just, you know, there was chronic pain, inflammation, endometriosis. Now they understand it as an autoimmune disease. So there you go.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:56:05]:
It’s another, it’s just another expression of all of that stress and everything that I was going through growing up, if you want to think of it in that context again, there’s probably many variables, right? But in this health journey and what I always like to, the way I think of it now, when I first really had to deal and I had to leave my job, or I chose to leave my job rather, because it was a high stress job. It wasn’t, it just wasn’t. It wasn’t what I needed, right? Doing that trauma work. I was working in a residential setting my entire career, which high need clients. And I love the work. I loved working with the families that I did. It was so rewarding. I felt like it was my calling and my purpose and so it was hard for me to leave it, honestly.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:56:58]:
But my health was breaking down. So it really got to a point where it felt like I had no choice. But what it was was I finally chose myself. I chose myself, which was a foreign concept. And so really, since then, I left my job in 2019. It was right before the pandemic, and I have been on a journey to really practice saying no, which was a new thing for me. Practice just practicing all the nos and coming to a place where I can be okay with myself even when I’m nothing, doing whatever it is in my mind that I think I’m supposed to be doing for everyone else, whatever that is, because we all, it’s different things for different people. But I had to just, I had to get rid of all of those narratives and ideas that just ultimately were not serving me.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:57:55]:
And I had to double down on my health. I had to double down my physical health, my routines, my habits, my mental habits, all of it. It was just, this is time to be, quote unquote, selfish. But of course, the ripple effect through my family and my community has been nothing but positive. So I’m sure you say this all the time to your audience, right? It’s not actually selfish. It’s not selfish to take care of yourselves. We think it is, but it’s really the most beautiful, wonderful thing we can do.
Karyn [00:58:26]:
It’s a selfless act that you could actually do, really.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:58:29]:
I have a daughter, and I. I want her to learn both from my life that led up to the medical diagnosis and learn from what my life has looked post, because as a young woman growing up and trying to figure out her own way and her priorities and how does she balance everything? I want her to see, like, there’s, you know, what it all looks like. She grew up with the mom who was pretty stressed out all the time. I was in graduate school. I was building my career. I was a single mom. And so I can have. And I do, you know, I can have some grief about that, but also self compassion because I was doing the very best I knew to do.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:59:15]:
That’s right. Yeah. And so we do the best we.
Karyn [00:59:19]:
Can at every stage. We do the best we can at the time. And at some point in your life, it sounds like 2019 was that point for you. You started to say, you know what? That served me then, but doesn’t serve me anymore. You know, rather than beating yourself up, like, what, who was I? I was a terrible person and what did I do? And I ruined my daughter and I ruined my life.
Dr. Andrea Lein [00:59:44]:
Right.
Karyn [00:59:44]:
No. And it was just a waste of time. No, no. That served me then, and maybe even some positives came out of the darkness, and I’m going to use that information now to better my life and try and make it more in the life that I want to live. And how selfless is that?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:00:03]:
Yeah. Right. And there’s different seasons of life, too, right? I mean, a season of having young children for any mom out there, right? Season of having young children versus seasons of elementary school children versus teenager versus. Now, my daughter’s been out of the house for almost a decade. It all changes. And so there’s also just a reminder, I think, for all of us, especially if we’re, I was going to say especially if we are also professional women. But even if you, even if your full time work is in the home, it’s still true that your season of life is going to shift and change as a mother. And so if you feel the pressure, like, oh, I want to do this and this and this and this, and I’m not doing it all, it’s like, well, well, maybe it’s not for now, it’s okay.
Karyn [01:00:50]:
Yeah.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:00:50]:
Because the season will change. And if you wanted to write that book, or you wanted to start that business, or you wanted to do whatever, give yourself a break, like, there’s only so many hours in the day. So focus on your kids now. Focus on what’s right in front of you and, and let yourself know. Like, you can give yourself grace to do what you can now and, and not give up on the dream and hopes of other things that you want to do in your life for other seasons. And that’s exactly, I mean, I know again, at this stage of my life, in midlife, it’s like I have, there’s perspective and wisdom in that. But of course, in my twenties, I thought I have to do everything right now because it’s like the only time.
Karyn [01:01:30]:
To live that could be a whole other podcast. But that is so true that we put all that pressure on ourselves. There’s something that comes with age, this wisdom, this letting go. That’s such a beautiful thing that I think sometimes we can only come to with, you know, like a fine wine as we age.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:01:48]:
It’s true. It’s.
Karyn [01:01:50]:
Yeah, it’s true.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:01:51]:
Wow. And I. Andrea. Yes.
Karyn [01:01:53]:
Go ahead, please, go ahead.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:01:54]:
I was just gonna say when going back sort of full circle to this idea in positive psychology of flourishing, human flourishing. Yeah, the flourishing, you know, even if we think about a plant, right, it’s. It’s the subtraction that often helps with a plant to flourish. It’s the pruning back. And so for me and even any of my clients I’m working with, it’s not just like oh, what do we need to add to your life to make it better? It’s, what do we need to let. It’s oftentimes, what do we need to let go of? What do we shed? What do we allow to be pruned from our lives, from our, our thinking patterns, from our habits? What do we let go so that we don’t have that weight and the burden and then we just naturally flourish. This is where the health just springs forth. It just.
Karyn [01:02:44]:
I love that because you don’t have to work at it, I think we’re told so often, add this in. Add that in. Right. Eat this food, do more exercise, have this type of practice in your life. I mean, we’re bombarded with it, but sometimes we actually need to take a look and take a step back and maybe remove. Right. Because that actually, you know, we can get feel mentally lighter.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:03:08]:
It feels good. It feels good.
Karyn [01:03:10]:
Exactly. Such wisdom. I absolutely love it. I loved our conversation sometimes when, well, pretty much most of the time when we’re in a podcast and we’re talking about Crohn’s colitis, mental health, physical health, it can get really kind of dark and deep. So I kind of like to end on a light note if it’s okay with you. Yeah, I like to end on a little lightning round. That’s just kind of fun. Is that okay with you if we do that?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:03:33]:
Sure.
Karyn [01:03:34]:
Sure.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:03:34]:
I’ll do my best.
Karyn [01:03:36]:
Okay, here we go. I almost lost it. Okay, here we go. So these are really simple questions and you can just answer them quickly. So what’s your favorite go to? Healthy snack?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:03:46]:
Ooh, my favorite. Well, I love smoothies, but that, I don’t know if that’s a quick snack.
Karyn [01:03:54]:
I also pretty quick. I love it.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:03:56]:
Yeah, I’m a smoothie girl.
Karyn [01:03:58]:
Yeah, I love it for my audience because it’s really easy to digest and absorb. So smoothies are always a go to snack for me.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:04:05]:
Yeah. Perfect for taking it on the go struggles.
Karyn [01:04:08]:
Perfect for somebody that’s trying to get nutrition in their life. Yes. Okay.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:04:11]:
Yes.
Karyn [01:04:11]:
Name one supplement you can’t live without.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:04:13]:
Magnesium or vitamin D. That’s a hard one. Both are important.
Karyn [01:04:19]:
You can go with both. I like it. All right, what is your favorite form of exercise?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:04:25]:
You mentioned bar. I love bar. I do love bar. I do love bar. And I love walking, honestly. And part of my illness, you know, I couldn’t do high intensity, so I’m good with those things.
Karyn [01:04:37]:
Yeah, yeah, both of those. And I like that it’s, you know, some days you might feel up to a strenuous bar class. And sometimes it’s like, you know what? I’m just gonna take a walk. And that’s all good. It’s all a movement of plan.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:04:47]:
It’s all good.
Karyn [01:04:47]:
Yeah.
Karyn [01:04:48]:
Okay. So what’s the one thing that we all get wrong about mental health?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:04:52]:
I think that the idea that if you have a diagnosis, you are destined to have that diagnosis until you die, that’s good.
Karyn [01:05:06]:
Yes. Because so often people are, like, labeling themselves by their diagnosis instead of. It’s something I’m dealing with. This is me. And that the fact that they could actually get over it.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:05:17]:
And if you don’t believe you can, you won’t pursue any way to try to.
Karyn [01:05:22]:
That’s right. In every aspect of life.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:05:23]:
Right.
Karyn [01:05:24]:
If you don’t believe it, you can’t achieve it. Right.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:05:27]:
Absolutely.
Karyn [01:05:27]:
Okay. Really a juicy question here. What are you binge watching right now?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:05:33]:
Oh, I am not a binge watcher.
Karyn [01:05:36]:
Okay.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:05:37]:
I’m not a binge watcher. Well, I actually just went to an arts conference this weekend, and I got four different books, all of which are good. There’s one that I just started called let there be art. And it’s basically about, you know, the. How creativity helps us heal, grow, process things. I just. I love the intersection of the arts and creativity with our well being. So that’s sort of.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:05]:
I’m binging books on that topic right now.
Karyn [01:06:07]:
Yeah. Do you have, like, an art medium that you practice right now? I’m not really good art, but I love it. I just started getting into pouring. Have you seen. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:17]:
No.
Karyn [01:06:17]:
It’s basically you just take a bunch of paint and you put it in a cup and you pour it on a canvas, and then you, like, rotate the canvas all around, and it makes this really cool design. Have you ever seen that?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:28]:
No, but I love that. I love it.
Karyn [01:06:30]:
Look it up. YouTube. Tons of YouTube videos on it. And it’s so good for your mental health because it’s just satisfying.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:36]:
Yes.
Karyn [01:06:38]:
Portrait.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:39]:
That’s right. I.
Karyn [01:06:40]:
Can it just be free and it’s abstract.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:42]:
That’s right.
Karyn [01:06:43]:
I like that. Whether it comes out or not.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:45]:
Yes.
Karyn [01:06:45]:
Okay. Favorite travel destination?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:06:47]:
I will say right now, my favorite travel destination is Hawaii, because not only is it beautiful, my daughter lives there. So I’m looking forward to my. My annual trip in May to go out there.
Karyn [01:07:00]:
Love it. I love Hawaii. My husband. I took our honeymoon in Hawaii.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:07:04]:
Yes.
Karyn [01:07:05]:
Coffee or tea? And how do you take it?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:07:07]:
Typically in the morning? Coffee. And I will put a little bit of, usually some kind of non dairy milk in there. But in the afternoon, I like a good, like, matcha green tea latte or something that I usually make at home. Yeah.
Karyn [01:07:21]:
Okay. What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:07:24]:
I love reading and singing. I’m listening to music. Singing. Music is usually my. My creative outlet.
Karyn [01:07:32]:
Yeah.
Karyn [01:07:33]:
Okay. I love that. One last question. So this podcast is called the Cheeky podcast for Moms with IBD.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:07:38]:
Such a great name.
Karyn [01:07:40]:
Have to be a little tongue in cheek with IBD. So to me, cheeky means being a little bit sassy, a little bit quirky, and a whole lot of badass. So how are you cheeky in your life?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:07:51]:
Oh, cheeky. Oh, that is such a good question. I feel like I would love to have my husband answer this question because he probably does think I’m cheeky. I think sometimes not so much. Not really intentional. I think sometimes I can be like, I want to be provocative, but I’m a very respectful person. But I still try to find ways to push back sort of on the status quo, like mainstream, the mental health issues, things like that, where I’m like, we can think about things a little different.
Karyn [01:08:26]:
I relate to that with you because I’m always questioning, always. Does that really make sense?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:08:31]:
Yeah.
Karyn [01:08:32]:
You know, is that really true with your daughter? Have you taught her that too? Because I’ve definitely taught my kids that as well.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:08:37]:
Oh. Oh, yeah. She’s. She’s real cheeky.
Karyn [01:08:40]:
She’s real cheeky.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:08:41]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Karyn [01:08:42]:
I love it. Doctor Andrea, thank you so much. This has been, this hour has flown by, and I really appreciate all your time and your insights and wisdom. Thank you.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:08:52]:
It’s been a pleasure. Thank you for having me.
Karyn [01:08:54]:
Tell us, if people want to find out more about you, where’s the best place for them to go?
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:08:59]:
Yeah, they can visit my website. It’s just my name, Andrealine Lein. And they can also find me usually on Instagram. Doctor awesome.
Karyn [01:09:09]:
Thanks so much.
Dr. Andrea Lein [01:09:10]:
Thank you.
Karyn [01:09:19]:
If this podcast is meaningful for you, if it’s been helpful in your IBD.
Karyn [01:09:24]:
Mom life, I’d love it if you would do a couple things.
Karyn [01:09:27]:
First, follow the pod. You’ll never miss an episode.
Karyn [01:09:30]:
And those moms who are searching for podcasts about Crohn’s and colitis, they’ll find us easier. There’s probably a plus sign or a follow sign where you’re listening in right now. It’s at the top of your screen. Go ahead and give that a tap and then also give the cheeky podcast five star rating and review and share it with your friends who are also struggling with IBD. The more we are open about talking about our illness and bringing awareness around it, the more we’re able to connect and build a safe community around each other. I love being in community with you and I appreciate you, my friend. One last thing before we wrap up today. You know, think you’re a rock star for taking time out of your busy life to listen in and invest in your healing.
Karyn [01:10:19]:
It is capital h huge.
Karyn [01:10:21]:
And the reason I know how huge.
Karyn [01:10:22]:
This is for you is because I am right there with you in all.
Karyn [01:10:26]:
Of this, working my wheel of wellness.
Karyn [01:10:28]:
Keeping my crohn’s at bay.
Karyn [01:10:30]:
It’s something that I invest in every day and I’d love it if we could continue our gut healing journey together. If you’re like me and you’re ready to soak up even more amazing gut healing information, it’s time to join the gut love community@karenheathy.com. community the GLC is my free and fabulous space, dedicated to dishing out even more IBD resources, recipes, healing hacks, lots of BTS secrets on how I manage my life with IBD, all wrapped up.
Karyn [01:11:03]:
In a weekly newsletter to help you.
Karyn [01:11:05]:
Keep your momentum going strong.
Karyn [01:11:08]:
This IBd dish is gut healing insights.
Karyn [01:11:11]:
That I only share within our tight knit community. Basically, it’s your one stop shop for a more diversified approach to true and lasting gut healing. Amen to that, my friend. Let’s walk this gut healing journey together.
Karyn [01:11:26]:
Join me in the glc@karenhaley.com slash community that’s karynhaley.com community.
Karyn [01:11:37]:
I can’t wait to meet you.